Hi all,
Long story. I met a woman at my daughter's school open day. We got talking and then became "friends". It was more of convenience friendship for both of us. Our kids did many activities together and we shared pickups and drop offs. She moved her daughter to a prep school in Year1 for grammar school focus and has absolutely nagged me to death several times to move my DD - going on and on about now lovely the new school is. It felt quite premature at that point to send my DD to a hot housing school without knowing her true potential. We loved our state school so we continued there. We still did some activities together. I heard a lot of criticism about "state school kids" from her over the years but I chose to ignore it.. Another big problem with this woman is her attitude. Whatever she touches is gold. Her kids are best, her profession is the best, her house is the best. She is VERY dismissive about others choices. (For example: DD is sporty - She made comments several times to say sports are useless). I find it very annoying. We slowly distanced ourselves from them and did our own thing
Fast forward to Year5, 11 plus preps in full swing. Her DD went to numerous tutors. We tried some tutors and settled with a tutor who had a calmer approach. This "friend" at this point was after my life for "collaboration". She wanted to know what we were doing. I told her our plans and strategy. I told her about our target schools and why we think they were suitable for our DD. She said she gathered some resources from another parent from school and would share them with me. I asked twice but I got shitty excuses (lost them, cant find them etc). So, the collaboration was all about getting info from me but not sharing anything. Through out 11plus prep time, whenever and whereever we met, her DD had only competitive questions for my DD. How much did you get in that paper? What level are you at swimming? What level in Piano? This woman also went behind my back and checked with common friends what I was upto.
Many many times I felt like asking this woman to shut up and get lost. I just kept distance and ignored. DD got into a local grammar and guess what, her DD will be going there too :( This woman started calling me again. COLLABORATION shit. How our grammar is the best, the other grammar is just crap (its a brill school , I know children who are happy there - it just didnt feel right for my DD). I spoke nicely, but I just hate her now. Last week my DD met her DD at a park. (I wasnt there, she went there for a play date after school with another child and her mum). and guess what, the ONLY things her DD asked mine were "What was your 11plus score, what level at swimming and whats level at piano. What other activites are you doing and what levels". DD is fed up and felt quit. I am going mad. I cant put up with this shit all through school now.
Anyone met insanely competitive and selfish people like this woman? How to ignore her? We aren't competitive , we don't push our kids. (Some people do, we respect their choice - we all do whats best for our kids) We just encourage our children to do their best. DD is terrified of having this girl in her class. Its not the child's fault, she was raised that way, but the whole thing is a BIG PITA long term. I hate confrontations, but one more shit talk, i might smack her.