Circumcision

[muma19]

DP wants DS circumcised however I don't. I also have MIL getting involved and pressuring me. What do I do? I want to be fair to my partner but I really don't want him veg for circumcised. HELP!!!!

FFS! Try on the links, try in the studies cited, try in the arguments logically presented

You've mostly only posted links to CDC web pages, some of which only contained information about the AAP recommendation and no citations of scientific studies!

As has been highlighted, the position of US agencies is far from impartial so they are wholly unreliable.

Vaccines prevent potentially very serious and very common diseases.

Circumcision can prevent:

1. Penile cancer. Rare anyway.

1. STIs. If you only ever have sex with your spouse and choose a good one your risk is minimal.

1. Phimosis. Rare.

I have worked as a nurse for 13 years. I have seen TWO adult men circumcised for medical reasons. Plus, at that age, the foreskin is no longer attached to the penis. They don't have to literally tear it off which is what you have to do with a baby.

Total hysterectomies virtually eliminate your risk for endometrial cancer, which is the most common reproductive malignancy among women. Double mastectomies virtually eliminate your risk for breast cancer. Why do we not go around removing the breasts and uterus of adult women once they're past child-bearing years as a matter of routine?

Not vaccinating can result in death. Not circumcising doesn't. STDs are caused by unprotected sex with an infected partner. Never had one, neither has any of my sexual partners, none of those were circumcised. Stupid argument for circumcision/mutilation.

I was just asking for a single piece of justification. Can you not say?

All the name-calling and vitriol when you're asked a simple question.

Everyone's ignorant nut jobs...all quite extreme way to speak to people just because they don't agree that it's OK to chop about a baby's penis!

It's derailing ...and nonsense.

I really can't understand the abuse tbh for women who want to protect against cutting babies.

...and what have vaccines got to do with this rhetorical, as obvs nothing

@THEsonofaBITCH

You are coming across as irrational and hysterical. You've posted links which had NO peer reviewed medical advantages to routine circumcision. Literally none. The very minor reduction in STD transmission wouldn't be nearly enough for most men to consider the procedure when contraceptives would be necessary anyway and in any case by the time a man is sexually active he can choose for himself.

Please don't allow this for your son. He's meant to have this skin there. Millions of years of evolution, it's there for a reason. Most of all, let him decide when he's older and save him the pain.

Another voice saying please don’t do it. Living in a hot, dusty country with no running water I can see the advantages and why it became traditional, but there’s absolutely no need living in the U.K. now.

Vaccines usually just constitute an imjection and there isn't as effective an alternative way to achieve the same benefits.

Circumcision risks a loss of sensitivity, permanently alters the appearance , and there are other ways to achieve the same benefits (amd surpass them).

Stick to your guns, OP. Some things should be Up to the individual when it is them that will have the changes and risked changes.

Right now on Netflix is 'American circumcision' very interesting and might challenge his thinking.

LTB

If I thought there was a problem with too tight a foreskin, as a baby, I would have sought medical advice.

Not getting at you at all, as even a lot of medical professionals alarmingly appear not to know, but baby boys are always born with tight foreskins. As long as he can wee properly, it is no more a cause for concern than the fact that he can't talk yet, can't yet control his bowels or (probably) doesn't have any teeth. A baby obviously has no need for his penis to function sexually, however he IS going to be sitting in pooey nappies, from which substance the sensitive head of his penis benefits significantly from protection.

For all the people claiming that circumcision prevents sexually-transmitted infections, the foreskin does actually help to prevent faecal-based infections in somebody far too young for sex to be of any relevance.

I'm watching American Circumcision now.
The picture of the baby being circumcised has really upset me. I have no idea what would bring someone to do this to their baby.

CIRCUMCISION IS IN NO WAY COMPARABLE TO FEMALE GENITAL MUTILATION.

In FGM the clitoris is removed, to keep girls "clean" by preventing them from experiencing sexual pleasure. This is removing a basic human right. Circumcised men retain the use of a fully functional penis and enjoy normal sexual sensation and pleasure.

I'm actually incandescent at men claiming the two are the same. It's another example of the bloody men men men men men obsessed culture we live in that the two issues are even being discussed on the same thread. And there's a load of women making the comments too?! What is wrong with people?! 🤯

There are 4 identified levels of FMG, all rightly illegal, and male circumcision has been assessed as being approximately equivalent to level 2 of FGM.

You are absolutely correct that women are massively disadvantaged and discriminated against in a huge number of factors throughout their whole lives, and this is, of course, appalling. However, this is one of those rare cases where the reverse is true: female babies cannot legally have their genitals cut, altered or mutilated in any way; however, male babies are not considered deserving of the same legal protection.

The PRINCIPLE is exactly the same, even if the level of harm caused frequently is not.

I assume from your confident assertion that you must be a man who opted for circumcision after becoming an adult. Even though YOU may not personally have observed any difference in your sensation and pleasure in sex before and after you were circumcised, this is not the experience reported by the vast majority of other men, whose experiences DO follow as one would logically expect as a consequence of having tens of thousands of sensitive nerve endings removed. It's just basic common sense.

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

Brilliant comment.

My DH and I have had the conversation, he had respected my stance on this and agreed with me. This post was never about me questioning whether to do it or not, as for my DS it was never an option but more so about how to tackle MIL and let them know that although I love them very much, I will not be circumcising him.

It's mutilation.
Complications can also occur, in the worst case scenarios complications could be loss of genitals or death.
Don't even consider chopping bits of a baby, I wish they had rights.

Btw, it can get dirty under your fingernails but we don't consider pulling them all off....

I'd tell her to stop fixating on my child's penis if it were my MIL. Seriously.

Tell her that this is a private matter between you, your DP and your DS and that no other opinions will be considered.

Well done op.

Just as an anecdotal add on- the only person that I know to have had penile cancer was circumcised as a child.

@PunkAssMoFo thank you! I'm so glad it's now all over with.

Oh my, how ironic.

My DH and I have had the conversation, he had respected my stance on this and agreed with me. This post was never about me questioning whether to do it or not, as for my DS it was never an option but more so about how to tackle MIL and let them know that although I love them very much, I will not be circumcising him.

Well done OP. You sound like you have handled it well. As I said, I circumcise my baby boys, but I completely understand your position on YOUR DS. And more so, I rate you for resolving it directly with your DH and tackling MIL in a more compassionate way.

However OP, as a word of advice, I think we all know what posting on Mumsnet for advice on circumcision was going to look like. This won’t be the first time you will have issue with your in laws culture that you need to learn how to handle in a way that doesn’t create tension..

I’m surprised that you even felt pressured seeing how understanding your DH sounds.. and how you could’ve just discussed with him.

True you might wanted people to equip you with some facts to use... but really I don’t think you needed to come here for ammunition to use against your in laws.. because it’s not your word against theirs, it’s you and your husbands decision and he simply seems on board.

So I don’t feel he deserved the amount of disrespect that you allowed to happen on this thread. Because if he had started a thread on an African forum, discussing all the things in your background that he finds rediculous, you bet he would’ve received advice that won’t make you feel respected.

So bare in mind that for the future, you need to find out how to tackle cultural things from a source that you both find respectable and has some awareness of both sides.

Yes OP. Next time find a source that is pro-mutiliation.