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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Entitled BIL

35 replies

LittleMissUnreasonable · 20/03/2019 11:36

I may be being unreasonable here but feeling a bit fed up with BILs entitledness. His GF (my sister) was unwell in bed and they were due to be packing to move in together that day so I dropped BIL a message explaining the situation and he said he would come around in the early evening with the van. I then began packing up all DSis things while she slept. Hadn't heard back from BIL and it was getting on for 9pm so I assumed he wasn't coming. I finally took a break from packing after 8 hours and sat down, door bursts open at 10pm making me jump out my skin. It was BIL who arrived with the van. He then proceeds to begin packing things up in the van, trapsing up and down the stairs clattering about till midnight. All that was fine, annoying but fine.
Next day, as DSis was in bed still, me and BIL were loading the van up, overall we managed to pack up everything in about 5 hours. DSis was feeling better so we decided to go to a cafe for much deserved grub. DSis paid for BIL and I brought my food with no offers. My food came to just over a fiver. BIL and DSIS are on combined salary of 65k so not short of money.
BIL also got gifted a substantial amount of deposit money for their house from his father and didn't get him a birthday present because he 'forgot'. I'm probably being unreasonable but just needed a rant

OP posts:
Frenchmontana · 20/03/2019 11:39

Hang on. Why is this just boils fault?

Neither of them paid for your food. You packed all your sisters stuff why didn't she pay?

Really that I'll she couldnt get out of bed, but managed as soon as all the packing was done?

Sounds like your sister is taking you for a mug

Frenchmontana · 20/03/2019 11:40

Bils fault. Not boils Grin

Original poster
LittleMissUnreasonable · 20/03/2019 11:40

FrenchMontana - totally looks like that, it was pregnancy related sickness and she was quite ill being sick so I know it wasn't faking, but funny how she perked up for the cafe ...

OP posts:
Frenchmontana · 20/03/2019 11:42

Yeah, people can fake pregnancy illness too.

The fact that she perked up as soon as the packing was done and didn't even offer to pay for your food....since it was HER that you did a favour for.....says it's her you should be annoyed at. Not him

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 20/03/2019 11:42

lolloping about in bed all day, letting other pack up for her?

[much eye rolling]

Springwalk · 20/03/2019 11:45

I am not sure I would have spent 8 hours packing up anyone's stuff. I am not sure what you are expecting?? Surely it would have been easier to change the day of the move, and then they could have packed up their own things and gone in their own time.

This was not really your problem, you made it your problem and then seem disgruntled that they were not more grateful, and paid for your lunch....

JustHereForThePooStories · 20/03/2019 11:45

Why are you calling this guy your brother-in-law? He’s not.

You’re the mug here. BIL did his share. You did your sister’s.

SnuggyBuggy · 20/03/2019 11:45

I'd be careful offering them any favours.

ImNotTheDramaLlamaHere · 20/03/2019 11:45

Take a step back

Deadbydaylight · 20/03/2019 11:46

You've been taken for a mug. She was fine as soon as food was mentioned and the hard work was done. Funny that..

And they didn't offer you food in payment at the very least. Both are cheeky fuckers not just her partner.

Original poster
LittleMissUnreasonable · 20/03/2019 11:47

@Justhere - apologies....my sister's boyfriend seemed a bit of a mouthful to type in every other sentence

OP posts:
FizzyGreenWater · 20/03/2019 11:50

Take a step RIGHT back from helping these people Grin

Learn this lesson right now. A mental note to be... tougher. Less helpful. Very busy.

Or you will be on here in three years time stressing that you've somehow found yourself providing two days a week childcare for their toddler for free, they owe you 6K after you loaned them money in an emergency and they show no sign of paying it back despite having gone to Florida last month, and your sister borrowed your best coat and ruined it and is now upset you've asked her to replace it.

Cheeky bastards are everywhere. If they're in your family, the sooner you learn to neutralize them and their requests with bland unhelpfulness and definitely no accessible savings or coats that fit them, the happier you will be!

Chickychoccyegg · 20/03/2019 11:50

should be your sister your annoyed at. she's the one you done a madsive fabour for.
in future dont do massive favours for either of them

Wallsbangers · 20/03/2019 11:53

Your sister is a CF, I wouldn't bother helping in the future OP

Greatbigterribleshart · 20/03/2019 11:56

I hope you packed it all badly and in a complete muddle! You've been taken for a mug.
Ask them when they are getting you a nice take away or dinner as thanks for helping them move, see what their reaction is.

Motherofcreek · 20/03/2019 11:56

Yeah they both took the piss

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 20/03/2019 12:03
  1. your sister is a CF
  2. Hope the house they've just moved into isn't in her partners name only.
Tinkety · 20/03/2019 12:04

Your post should be called ‘Entitled Sister’ because as another poster said, your BIL did his part & you did your sister’s.

Your BIL also did not pay for lunch, your sister did so again, blame her.

BIL and DSIS are on combined salary of 65k so not short of money.

Be careful with this way of thinking, yes they may not “usually” be short of money but buying an house his expensive so they may be strapped for cash right now.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 20/03/2019 12:10

Also agree is your sister who's taking the mick here, not BIL.

M4J4 · 20/03/2019 12:14

Your sister sounds very tight for not treating you to lunch.

Would she have helped you if you were in the same situation?

Take a step back and evaluate how much you do for her and if it's reciprocated in similar or other ways.

Toooldtocareanymore · 20/03/2019 12:18

Why should your sisters bf pay for your lunch? no she should have, how would he know you spend so much time packing, all those hours, for your sis, clearly she had done nothing in advance despite knowing she was moving that day?? he wasn't there? she did know though. He came with van he packed up van, he didn't sit down demand you do it, ok he was later than said but he showed, how is this entitled? combined 7 hours to put stuff in a van, that's madness, that must have been a lot of stuff and your sister knew that but took to her bed the whole time. You helped him for 5 hours, from what I can tell no one asked you. you are a lovely sister and its up to your sister to acknowledge that, not the poor lad doing work with you.

As for what he buys his relatives for birthdays is absolutely none of your business.

You need to see that this bf has done nothing wrong at all in this situation, and the problem is your sis, you clearly don't like him so your blaming him

lilabet2 · 20/03/2019 12:21

Yep 'Entitled Dsis' should be the heading!!

£5 for hours and hours of work is not too much to ask, even if she was genuinely ill!

BerrowHarm · 20/03/2019 12:31

So its agreed that your Sis is the CF here.

Sure as eggs are eggs she's going to ask you to bring round your gardening stuff and DIY tools etc. to help them do up their house, and never say thanks nor give them back. I hope you can get out of it!

LagunaBubbles · 20/03/2019 12:37

Not sure why youre focusing on him in title and missing out your sister!

KC225 · 20/03/2019 12:40

Agree with above. Your sister is a piss taker.