What rites of passage did you miss and will never get to do?

[Tiswotis]

I did not:

Have a teenage romance
Go to graduation
Pass driving test

and will never:

Have a dad walk me down the aisle
Have a mum excited with me on my wedding day

and probably won't:

Have a child of my own

I like my life, but sometimes wish I had some of the above.

How about you?

For everyone who did not go on a boozy clubbing/beach/18-30 type holiday- I did (the last unwittingly!) and they were crap! I went on 4 summer holidays in my 20s with a group of colleagues of a similar age where the emphasis was very much on drinking/clubbing all night and sleeping by the beach/pool all day. The friends (who in the UK were not like that at all) were only really interested in 'pulling', even if all the men around were pretty unpleasant. So I spent quite a bit of the time either alone or playing gooseberry. I kept going each year because I assumed I must be odd to not like it, was happy to have been invited, and didn't want to seem 'odd'. You've not missed out!

The only thing I feel disappointed about not having done is had a child - it's still physically possible, but my circumstances make it very unlikely that it'll ever happen.

Stuff that I haven't done and don't care about not having done:

• teenage boyfriend
• prom
• 'girly' or boozy package holiday
• driving a car
• rave/festival
• marriage
• A levels

Stuff that I am glad I did, even if some of it was later than other people because my teenage years were not typical in any sense:

• university (late 20s)
• graduation ceremony
• hen parties
• owning a house
• volunteering abroad
• getting published (academic, although I'd like to publish fiction someday too)

I don't find this thread sad. Everyone's life is different and it's easy to think that 'everyone else' has done certain things, when it's just not true.

Well, I'm 52 and I haven't yet

• got married — have no plans to, but never say never
• had any children — DEFINITELY say never

Think I've pretty much covered everything else to one degree or another

Never went to university
Never had a good friend
Never had a 'normal' devoted father
Never had celebration for 18th or 21st birthday
Never went abroad with friends
Never went to gigs
Never had much teen freedom as had a baby at 17

Never been a bridesmaid as an adult, although was a Best Woman!

My husband of 25 years died. I won’t get to spend our retirement together travelling the world and having fun

I don't know about rites of passage and have done quite a few of the things mentioned above already but my one big regret is my lack of self confidence and feel it's hindered me my whole life. I thought it would magically develop by the time I reached adulthood but it hasn't. It must be amazing to totally believe in yourself. I have faked it in the past - I got offered an amazing job years ago but turned it down after my ex convinced me I wouldn't 'enjoy' it. I often wonder where I'd be now had I accepted it - I think that was my sliding doors moment. 😟

I never had girlie nights in or out.

I never went clubbing with my friends.
I never went on holiday with my friends.
I never went shopping with my friends.
I never talked about boys with my friends.

I never went to college/university

I met my DH at 14, got married at 18 and had a mortgage at 18. Got married so young to get away from my alcoholic parents.

Oh and I’ve never been with anyone else, which at the age of 50 I’m really regretting now.

I didn't go to my graduation because I thought it would be boring as fuck.

And having sat through a few of them for work I can confirm I was right and missed nothing!

I will also never have a child which, although through choice, does mean that I will never experience something pretty huge.

FannyAnne I know what it’s like to have a lack of self-confidence. It’s prevented me from befriending people I’ve wqnted to; I know there’s no set number of friends everyone has to have, but it’s different when you want to befriend someone but can’t even bring yourself to talk to them. I’m in counselling and hopefully things can change, I’m still young.

*wanted. Effing autocorrect!!

I've never been on a girls holiday - although there's still time yet - I'm not dead!

I've been a bridesmaid twice (for the same person lol) and tbh, it did my nut in. I would have much rather have been a normal guest.

I never had a graduation as I didn't finish uni - I went and hated it! I'm glad I went for the experience of it though.

My Dad never got to walk either of his daughters down the aisle. Mum walked us both. Dad died when I was a teenager.

I met DH when I was 17 nearly 18. Not sure if that counts as teenage romance? I guess so.

I didn't have a girl's holiday or go to university. I settled for a dead end job and had my first child young when I was clever enough to go onto further education and have a career. I'm glad the way things worked out though as I'm very content though and my family will always come first.
I'll probably never own my own home or pass my driving test but I'm not that bothered about those.

I've never....

been to a wedding
been interrailing
been on a club 18-30 holiday
had friends round to dinner/been to dinner with friends
given birth
had/been to a hen do
been to a graduation ceremony
had/been a bridesmaid
been a godparent
been to a festival
been on strike
been on a package holiday
lived in a house share
done A levels

but I have

travelled to many, many countries, had 3 amazing children, done a masters degree, got a job I love and a house that is all ours, learnt to fly a plane.

Most people have not been on an 18-30 holiday.

Didn't go to either of my graduation ceremonies
Never been on an 18 to 30 holiday

Shit loads!

Teenage romance
Wedding
Child

Life is pretty full in other lovely ways though so all cool

Had sex with a woman. I'm happily married and would never ever cheat but I wish I'd experienced sex with a woman before I met my partner who became my husband.

I’ve also never had my heart broken

Girls holiday.... Seems to be popular though! Shall we organise one big piss up in ibiza 😂

Wished I'd joined the WRENS

Never tried smoking, not even once.

@BrutusMcDogface
Never had friends, I have sisters but not close to them either.

Only regret I have is that I haven't travelled or lived alone, or ever been alone

There are loads of 'normal' things I haven't experienced, mostly by choice - partying, holidays, adventures etc. - because I'm the overly serious type with no friends. I don't miss them.
There are also things I haven't experienced because my family is so small - no siblings, no cousins, no nieces/nephews, so no weddings, christenings, being a godparent etc. These are things I feel a little sad about.
Then there are the things that have been 'firsts' for me, but not for my DH - losing my virginity, getting married - and things that DH has had, but I won't have - children, own home. These things I have found surprisingly upsetting.

@americandream

I’m the one who has never had a job interview.

I really haven’t - I worked menial jobs in local places as a teen and early twenties, the type of jobs that advertise in the window, I’d walk in and ask about the job, they’d tell me when to start. If they liked me they kept me - if they didn’t, they wouldn’t have, but thankfully I was good so they always kept me. After that, I set up my own establishment and I have been self employed ever since. So, I have never had a job interview.

I have never been married because I don’t want to be married, and never have done. With a partner of decades, the only reason we’d marry would be inheritance tax, and we aren’t there yet.