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Original poster

What rites of passage did you miss and will never get to do?

151 replies

Tiswotis · 19/03/2019 22:46

I did not:

Have a teenage romance
Go to graduation
Pass driving test

and will never:

Have a dad walk me down the aisle
Have a mum excited with me on my wedding day

and probably won't:

Have a child of my own

I like my life, but sometimes wish I had some of the above.

How about you?

OP posts:
Frazzlerock · 20/03/2019 09:03

I never got to kiss goodbye my three babies as they died too early in the womb, I would do anything to get just five minutes with each of them.

Never been to Glastonbury, and doubt I will as it is almost impossible to get tickets.

Never went on teenage/20's girly holidays as the friends I had as a teenager were way too flaky and never committed to anything.

Never went to festivals as a teenager/20's because of above friends.

Never experienced a natural birth (one EMCS, one ELCS)

Never got to feed my living babies naturally as I do not produce enough milk to sustain a baby (thank you PCOS...). They would have died if it weren't for formula, which I never in a million years thought I'd use.

Never been to uni - I was never clever enough to complete my A-levels and even had to repeat my GCSEs just to be able to at least try A-levels. I just never had the concentration to learn and never understood anything no matter how hard I tried to. I'm the same now quite frankly. I wonder if I have some kind of undiagnosed 'label' of some kind.

Bezalelle · 20/03/2019 09:09

Bat Mitzvah. I came to Judaism later in life. I could have an adult Bat Mitzvah but it's not the same has having it at 12/13.

SparklesandFlowers · 20/03/2019 09:16

I've never lived in a house share with friends.
I've never had a girly holiday.

Those are the only two rites of passage I can think of I haven't experienced. Plenty of regrets though.

DharmaInitiativeLady · 20/03/2019 09:18

I've never read a Harry Potter book or seen any of the films

RosaRabbit · 20/03/2019 09:18

Never got married, had a hens etc.
Never had a daughter.
Never been an auntie.
Never bought a car.
Never bought a house.

Have done lots of travelling and love my ds's and my nearly 20 years of being with my dp! So to be honest I'm happy!

ApolloandDaphne · 20/03/2019 09:21

I've done almost all of the things people say they haven't done. The things I haven't done weren't really a thing when I was younger (baby showers and 18-30 boozy holidays). I don't know if I am lucky or just old enough (56) to have done most of those things.

elQuintoConyo · 20/03/2019 09:34

There are many things listed that I haven't done, many of those I have no wish to, eg 18-30 holiday, be a godmother, be a bridesmaid.

But what I have done:
Have a child

Have a dog

Lived in 3 European countries (currently Spain for the last 18 years, although that could change - France looks nice this time of year...)

Been to the USA (was on my bucket list)

Flown a Vulcan flight simulator (proper training one) crashed it Grin

Been on Concorde.

Had something printed in Viz.

Didn't faint when I met famous people.

Fluent I 2 languages, can get by in 2 more.

Linguaphile · 20/03/2019 09:35

Never had a son
Never tried drugs
Never lived on the same continent as my parents as an adult (so no driving home for Christmas, no grandparents around to lend a hand, etc)

lilabet2 · 20/03/2019 11:13

americandream Wed 20-Mar-19 00:40:31
this is a very sad and depressing thread. I am taken aback by the amount of stuff so many people haven't done. There are such a lot of things that lots of posters seemingly haven't done, that I wonder what they actually have done.

I am one of those people and actually found this thread really helpful- it's nice to know that not everyone meets every adulting milestone. No-one has complete control over their lives and their situation.

I have done some of these things like living with flatmates, playing outside as a kid, learning to swim, going to parties, christenings and weddings (but not as a bridesmaid or bride), travelling a little but in lots of ways I feel like I've missed-the-mark and not achieved lots of things that normal people achieve in their teens and early adulthood.

I'm 30 and I have not learnt to drive, graduated (I went to Russell group University, got A grades, fell ill and left in 3rd year), been for a job interview(!!!), been on a holiday with friends, been a bridesmaid, got married, given birth. Some of these things I still hope to do but I feel 'lacking' all of the time so this thread helped a bit.

April241 · 20/03/2019 11:16

I did not:

-Go to Australia when I qualified as I said I would for years and now I never will move so far (although we will definitely move out of the town we're in)

-Listen to my instincts and leave my ex when I should have, what a waste of 7 years!!!

SleepingStandingUp · 20/03/2019 11:23

@cookiemonster3 so do it now. Degree online, you'll make friends through it too!

BlueMerchant · 20/03/2019 11:41

Never

  • been on a girly holiday
  • been on an aeroplane
  • lived with friends in house share( stayed in halls)
  • had a teenage sweetheart
-been to a festival -bought a new house/car Did -go to Uni/ graduate -wild drinking/clubbing -settle down with OH -have my son and daughter. -get our family dog -overcome some 'issues' that blighted my life.
AnnieMay100 · 20/03/2019 11:46

What an eye opener...
I have a long list, my main ones are: never fallen in love, never had a girly holiday, never traveled, never been clubbing despite looking forward to it all through my teen years, never learned to drive, never been on an airplane

cookiemonster3 · 20/03/2019 11:49

@SleepingStandingUp I would love to but don't have the spare cash right now.

My dream job is a midwife and I can't do that online.

ALittleBitofVitriol · 20/03/2019 12:09

Hmm, the only one I can think of is having a 21st. I had a 5 day old baby instead - worth it!

NinnieNouse · 20/03/2019 12:15

I think it’s bitter sweet to look back and imagine how life might’ve been.

I’ve never learned to drive but hoping to rectify that sooner rather than later.

Never been on a girl holiday but have been on lots of weekends away with friends / family.

Never had a proper relationship, but I have my daughter now so I’m not sure that’ll want to have one for a few years now.

Snappedandfarted2019 · 20/03/2019 12:18

-Never been on girls holiday had the chance but was too busy with my then boyfriend and went away with him.

-Never had my full independence after 20year olds because I had a baby. Never got to appreciate it.

  • Didn’t get to graduate from university.

Think we will do the girls holidays in our 40s when our kids are A lot older so not entirely ruled out.

Fazackerley · 20/03/2019 12:22

Didn't get taught to drive by parents - they wouldn't pay for lessons and told me driving was dangerous and scary
Didn't have any kind of 18th or 21st celebration
Didn't have a mum to plan my wedding with ( she's alive but wasn't interested)

I'm making sure I do all these things with my own dcs (well, we haven't got to the wedding part yet but I inted to be fully involved Grin)

goingonabearhunt1 · 20/03/2019 12:22

I feel like I've done most of the things I wanted to tbh (some of the things mentioned I have no interest in, like being a bridesmaid or getting married). The only thing I think would have been cool would be to have traveled outside Europe and/or worked abroad for a bit. Also wouldn't have minded having a period of living alone. I never had a bf as a teenager but I have an amazing DP now so don't feel hard done by. I think it gave me the chance to grow into myself and become more confident.

goingonabearhunt1 · 20/03/2019 12:23

Also, I can't drive and don't have kids but I don't want either to do either of those things either so it's fine Grin

mirime · 20/03/2019 12:27

Had no friends or a social life as a teenager. Didn't go to university.

howrudeforme · 20/03/2019 12:31

Of my generation, never had the big thing as a teen getting parents to let you have ear pierced (big thing in my day) as I’d had it done as a tot. I missed out on those friendship convos re their parents’ attitudes and when they would be allowed to do it.

No hen do, no engagement party.

No big teenage party at my home.

Cherry4weans · 20/03/2019 12:35

Will never have my dad walk me down the aisle
Will never be medication free
Will never work my dream job (health reasons)
Will likely never drive again (3yrs after getting my dream family car)
Will never be parented again (roles reversed at age 19)
Will never have a proper 21st, 30th (sober with newborns instead 😂)

cantbearsed1 · 20/03/2019 12:37

I am married but didn't have an engagement party. But the only people I know that did were those who married before they lived together.
I have been a bridesmaid, it was a nice day, but nothing amazing. I think the peak time to be a bridesmaid is probably 7-8 years old.
I have had lots of holidays away with female friends, but hate the term girly holidays.

ForalltheSaints · 20/03/2019 12:37

No gap year