What rites of passage did you miss and will never get to do?

[Tiswotis]

I did not:

Have a teenage romance
Go to graduation
Pass driving test

and will never:

Have a dad walk me down the aisle
Have a mum excited with me on my wedding day

and probably won't:

Have a child of my own

I like my life, but sometimes wish I had some of the above.

How about you?

Loads!

I’ve never had any friends so never been a bridesmaid or went on a girly holiday or enjoyed fun nights out as a young adult. For the same reason I didn’t have a hen party or a baby shower because I had nobody to invite. And for the same reason I was alone on my wedding day and didn’t have a fun getting ready experience. I left school before proms were a thing (glad really because I was bullied so I wouldn’t have been able to go even if we had one).

My main regret is that my parents wouldn’t let me have a gap year and I was too poor to have fun travelling experiences. Now I’m a mum there’s no chance of travelling until I’m virtually a pensioner. And I’d have liked to have some real friends that I connected with, particularly when I was young and lonely. C’est la vie, though!

I would have liked to have lived completely on my own.

It’s a bit sad this thread.

I didn’t have my mum with me on my wedding day, or around for the birth of my kids. Life sucks sometimes. Nothing I could do to change that.

I think the only regret I have (not sure if it’s a right of passage?) is that I really wanted to travel or live in another country for a while, and I never managed to. I was either with a useless boyfriend or too scared to go by myself or too skint or too scared to quit my job. Now my excuse is that I’ve got kids, and I’m not sure that would allow the type of experience I really wanted .

No teenage romance/dating
No bumming around town with friends when teenager
Never been to festivals/raves
No gap year
DIdn't have a hen night
Never been a bridesmaid
Never been a godparent
Never been part of a group of girlfriends

My life is OK though

Velvet- how can you have gone through your whole life with no friends? Do you have friends now? Hope so, because people need friends!

I didn’t go to my prom (leavers ball as it was called then) because no one asked me to be their date!! My best friend and I watched a film instead. Looking back I really really wish the pair of us had gone together, and don’t actually know why we didn’t. Bit sad really!

Never had a teenage romance. Not been on a girls’ holiday when a teen. I could still technically go on a “girlie” holiday but I wouldn’t be a teen!!
I’ve not been in a relationship either but that could change.

I did go to graduation, but I wouldn’t have missed out on anything if I hadn’t gone. It was so boring, sitting there for ages clapping for a load of people I’d never heard of or met before. I was the very last person to go up in my session too.

I never did a stereotype 18-30 package holiday. Not my thing at all.

Never did a gap year. Working class kids from Derbyshire just didn’t.

Never got married, although DP & I have been together for 20+ years, so if it ain’t broke....

Never had kids, by choice.

I have never been a bridesmaid and that has always made me sad.
I've travelled but never did the "girls" holiday thing or Club 18-30.
I will never be married for 50 years as I'd hoped.
I wish I'd chosen the career I really wanted and had gone to uni.

I was very lucky to have all my grandparents into my 30's, but I will always regret that :

My Mum will never meet my DS.
My Mum missing out seeing my DD grow up.
My Dad will never know my DS as teen, let alone an adult.

I think it's OK to regret things, but you mustn't dwell over things you can't change. Perhaps make new goals (which is what I am trying to do now!).

I have never
learned how to cycle
learned how to play an instrument
had a teenage romance
had a driving lesson
gone on a hen weekend
been a godparent
had a full-time, permanent job, aged 41

I will never
own my own home

Never gave birth ‘naturally’ (emcs)
Never breastfed (couldn’t)
Never lived completely alone
Never bought a car
Never travelled for an extended period
Never lived abroad
Never had a one night stand (at least not in the true, ‘pick up a stranger in a bar and shag them’ sense)

I’ve done a lot of other stuff though!

One of those 18-30/girls on tour holidays although I wouldn't have enjoyed it. But I still feel I missed out on something.

Travel/time out.

I went through puberty really early, I was the first in my class and a bit embarrassed. So this is weird, but probably the feeling of growing into a woman, I was a little girl then I was a still quite little girl who looked old for her age and then I kind of grew into myself properly at 16. I feel like other people were just more teenage, somehow!

Had a really judgy, passive aggressive mum so no playing around with fashion or anything much as a teen. Probably saved me a load of cringe but very boring.

Wasn't really a party girl so some of the 16-18 going out probably passed me by.

Wish I’d been to uni
Wish I’d been to Glastonbury
Nearly a bridesmaid but as I had a peach bridesmaid dress I was (very selfishly) glad it was called off at the last minute!
Never been asked to be a godmother.

Other than that I had lots of fun with girlfriends when young and travelled for years and met husband quite late but we had lots of children! I love what I did earlier in life, just wish I’d got even more in! Think it’s made it easier that I have quite a sedate life now!!

Never:

Wore a wedding gown
Walked down the aisle
Graduated from high school
Been a bridesmaid (in a formal wedding, in a long frock)
Seen a live birth (although I've had 2 I wasn't looking)
Went on an all inclusive holiday

Have:

A fantastic and really fun registry office wedding
Hosted a wedding in my living room and been bridesmaid -ish at that
Had amazing holidays, of all types
A great career, despite not graduating high school.

Life is full of ups and down. I am an optimist so mostly look at the ups - it makes me happier, swimming in this de-nile.

I would probably win this game (and lose at the same time!) but just want to say thank you OP for making me feel better!

Not been to a festival either, but it’s not my thing at all.

Things I didn’t/have never done.

Get christened. Know my parents as an adult. Be a bridesmaid. Get married. Go to a hen party. Go to a baby shower. Have a positive or exciting pregnancy scan. Go on maternity leave. Do a dash to a hospital because of labour. Bring a newborn baby home from a hospital. Hold a baby naming party or christening. Go to graduation. Have a birthday party as an adult. Celebrated an anniversary. Received a valentines card. Gone for a job interview.

never have been a bridesmaid
never had a girl's holiday
never will have a 50 year wedding anniversary

Never had a teen romance - well, first boyfriend I was 19 when we met and 21 when we split but I don't think it counts.

Never had a one-night-stand. That's one of those things I don't need to try to know I'd hate it.

Never been inter-railing or backpacking (I did however wander round one European capital by myself at 18, using extended family as a base), never done Camp America (see above re one-night-stands), and too old to have had a 'prom' (in fact my secondary school inconveniently shut down the moment I did my O-levels so I didn't even have the certificate presentation. I'm still a bit p'd off about that. )

My Dad wont walk me down the aisle, didn’t meet any of my children, didn’t even see me finish secondary school.

Didn’t finish uni, but working on that.

Couldn’t run away and move to London. Already here. Wish I’d moved up north now, if I could go back and have a word with myself I would. About that and a few other things! 😂

Janus, I’ve not been to Glastonbury either and it’s right up my street. I’m planning on changing that next year and go on a whim!

Agree with a pp. What a sad thread.

Agree with a pp. What a sad thread.

Agree with @TinklyLittleLaugh this is a very sad and depressing thread. I am taken aback by the amount of stuff so many people haven't done. There are such a lot of things that lots of posters seemingly haven't done, that I wonder what they actually have done.

Seriously, everyone I know has done at least some of the things that people claim to have never done. One poster claims they have never been for a job interview?! I don't know a soul who has never been for a job interview.

Some claim also that they have ... never celebrated ANY anniversary, never learned to ride a bike, never been to a party, never took a driving lesson, never learned to swim, never been to a hen party, (or a Christening,) never been on holiday with a friend, or lived alone or with friends, never played out with friends as a youngster, never had a Valentine's card, never been a bridesmaid, never done any travelling, never had a teenage romance/holiday romance, never had any friends............

As has been said, this thread makes for very sad reading.

I am just a bit reading this thread....... We only get one life, and many people are missing out on so much........

Also quite stunned at the amount of posters who have never been married, but have been with a DP (who doesn't seem to want to get married,) for decades! You deserve better. Come on!!! Start living the life you deserve, and do some of those things you have never done or achieved!

Yeah I know 'everyone's journey is not supposed to be the same yada yada....' but honestly, everyone I know has done at least SOME of the things people claim they have never done (on here!)

Of course not everyone is going to have done EVERYTHING, but according to this thread, some people have done nothing. Bizarre.

And please don't call me smug or judgy or anything, I'm not; I am just shocked that so many posters are claiming to have not done so many things. I just don't know anyone in real life like this.