Is this school newsletter too rude?

[RudeHead]

NC as obviously outing to other parents. This week's primary school newsletter had the following from the head^^ about parents' evening...

Thank you for all the positive comments that teachers received yesterday. They all work so hard for each child in their class. Though I have noticed that there are too many parents not attending the parents meeting and making individual appointments with teachers before and after school This will not be allowed. We start at 1.30pm and finish at 7pm so whatever job you have, you can still make the consultation. I have to keep the workload down for our teachers. If there is a reason why you cannot meet on the designated parent consultation, which is dated in September, then please write to me.

AIBU that this is unacceptably rude? I feel like I should write in or something. I get her point but surely there's a better way to make it?

It could have been worded better but this is a head teacher not a pr professional. They sound like they are sick of everyone's shit and I can't blame them. Everyone these days thinks they should be excused from abiding by anything, that their circumstances are the most special and fuck everyone else. I also agree with others that a head teacher who looks out for their staff is a very good thing - it means stability for the kids as people are more likely to stay in their jobs.

Yes, that is pretty rude. They could have phrased it differently, and given you another option of being able to schedule another time if work commitments meant you couldn't make any of those times.

CordeliaEarhart A fair point!

Your wording would be fine. Anything other than the whatever job you have line.

sunflower makes good points about the workloads teachers have - but comments like this from the head do teachers a disservice, because the perception is that the head lives in a world where -

• No one works after 7pm
• No one works more than a six hour shift

As I said previously, whatever the head's intentions, the result is that she sounds out of touch.

I'm in no way saying that teacher workload isn't bonkers, but... we are not contracted for 30 hours per week (unless you work for an Academy that doesn't use STPCD). Directed time is not the extent of our contracted hours. We do not have contracted hours. We have directed time plus additional time as necessary to carry out our role.

In this case, I agree with what the Head is trying to do, but her wording is just asking for this kind of "but what about..." response. She would have been better saying "this is the parent teacher consultation time. Any requests for an alternative time should be made through me and not the teacher".

Perfectly reasonable.

Everyone loves to come up with scenarios about the international jetsetter who is off in darkest Peru, or the poor factory worker chained to the production line who isn't allowed time off. There will of course be a very, very small number of parents who can't get time off. But there would usually be the other parent, granny, aunt etc who can attend in their stead. Or you book holidays, arrange a working at home day, swap shifts.

All school are saying is "Look - we are doing as much as we can to be fully flexible and offer appointments between 1.30 and 7pm. Please make maximum effort to come along. We're giving you six months notice. If you can't be arsed to make arrangements, then don't expect to be able to speak to teachers at other times."

Primary school parents' evenings here are 3.30pm to 6pm. They get 100% turnout from parents.

I've taken time off for a parents' evening. Provided there is plenty of notice, don't see the problem.

jinglejanglefish junior doctors would generally find it impossible to book leave 6 months in advance. My DP sometimes couldn’t even book leave a month in advance when he was a junior doctor. And we get about a week’s notice of parent’s evening, this school sounds so organised!

Omg clearly we all can go in our jobs!
Seriously I would be annoyed, I work 13 hour shifts and would not be able to attend at those times!

'dad couldn't make the dates, could we have an extra meeting?

How about saying, "Sorry, but I'm afraid not."

There are loads of people who don't finish work at 5pm!

Doctors, nurses, Police. My DH is at work now, and won't get in until 11.30pm

So yeah, she's made herself look bloody stupid saying in bold, that everyone could make it.

Both my DP and I work shifts. One of us always manages to go to parents evening. Sometime we do have to take time off to make it. It's important. It must be so hard for the school and teachers sometimes, they must feel like they are fighting a loosing battle.

6 months notice- option for appointments at other times if absolutely necessary- standing up for her staff-telling parents taking the piss will no longer be accommodated-seems perfectly fine to me.

As might be expected, lots of PP are describing the exceptions which prove the rule. IME schools are pretty accommodating of genuine exceptions. For the HT to have put a blanket notice in the newsletter in such blunt terms implies that a significant number of parents are taking the piss. I would suggest that anyone unimpressed with the HT’s message takes issue with those parents, and not the HT themself.

HighOverTheFenceLeapsSunnyJim

Yes of course SOME jobs will have these conditions. However I work in a school and it will loads of parents who try and get special arrangements, most of whom have normal office jobs.

@Bobbybobbins try working in the Emergency Services or Armed Forces then!

"We are offering meeting times between 1.30 and 7 in the hope of accommodating most parents.Please make every effort to come within those times as I need to keep teacher workload down."

Or perhaps add, "I'm afraid we are unable to offer appointments outside of these times, unless there are exceptional circumstances, in which case, please let me know in writing."

High,
But how common will it be that BOTh parents are junior doctors, who both can't get leave, especially dince they do also have to have childcare provision for their school-age child?

Of course it is disappointing when only 1 parent can make it to parents' evening - but asking for wholly ifferent arrangements because it would be difficult for ONE of you 9while the other can make it) isn't really fair. It seems reasonable of a school to assume that non-estranged parents talk to one another and can deputise for one another at parents' evenings - while in the minority of cases where 6 months' notice of a 5.5 hour time window still doesn't lead to a solution for either parent despite best efforts, an arrangement can be made in writing with the head.

jinglejanglefish you said you were “genuinely interested”, I was just giving you an example. I don’t have an issue with the terms laid out in the letter.

@Jinglejanglefish Emergency Services, Armed Forces, NHS

Well said that HT

I'd imagine the HT has been fo blunt becasue 75% of thoise not attending then want to make individul appointments as and when suits them.

Fine, until you consider what that does to the teacher's workload.

With the advance notice ANYONE could make that timeslot OR contact the HT doirectly and explain why not and ask, politely, for a different time or different form of feedback.

Anyone who still wants to find an exception to the rule, to rpve the HT was wrong, oh so sillym ha ha, needs to take a step back and wonder WHY the HT felt in necessary to write that in the first place.

l used to work late shifts. So that would have been undoable for me.

She’s not right. But she’s in the right.

'dad couldn't make the dates, could we have an extra meeting?

How about saying, "Sorry, but I'm afraid not."

But many people on here are saying 'Oh, but my DH can't make x time' ... which I assume means 'I can make it, though he can't, but we want to go together'

The way I end up with extra meetings is that parents don't make an appointment, despite being chased. Then they arrange another time - an extra meeting outwith the designated dates - because 'dad couldn't make the dates'. I am required to speak to every child;'s parent(s), face to face or by telephone, so I have to accommodate it...

My school are fab. We get two evenings too choose from. One runs 3.30-5 the other
4-7
If anyone genuinely can’t do that they are given a separate-appointment

It’s a big school tho with two form intake.

My dd secondary does a whole day with appointment from 8.30-7 but the kids don’t go in that day