Is this school newsletter too rude?

[RudeHead]

NC as obviously outing to other parents. This week's primary school newsletter had the following from the head^^ about parents' evening...

Thank you for all the positive comments that teachers received yesterday. They all work so hard for each child in their class. Though I have noticed that there are too many parents not attending the parents meeting and making individual appointments with teachers before and after school This will not be allowed. We start at 1.30pm and finish at 7pm so whatever job you have, you can still make the consultation. I have to keep the workload down for our teachers. If there is a reason why you cannot meet on the designated parent consultation, which is dated in September, then please write to me.

AIBU that this is unacceptably rude? I feel like I should write in or something. I get her point but surely there's a better way to make it?

Not rude.

TBH that comment is aimed at "those parents"

Every parents evening they do the same. Make an appointment they have no intention of keeping and then don't turn up. Or have an excuse. Every year. Also not available when you try to call them too.

Rinse and repeat until year 11.

They waste the appointments for others and can keep staff hanging on at school waiting for them.

Sadly they're also often the parents you need to see most.....

big

If a parent was out the country then I'm sure they would come to some other arrangement but with 6 months notice and not so much as a big brother available for 5 mins, well that's not likely for the majority of the parents is it

You cant tell me every one who I see at school and pick up who collar the teacher every morning or after school and a fair few will stand around chatting fir quite some time , is suddenly unavailable with 6 months notice.

The few who arebt well I doubt the letter is really about you anyway

What jobs do people have where they literally cant book an afternoon off 6 months in advance? Genuinely interested, I have never worked a role like that and neither has dp.

If that is the case, maybe whoever does the childcare for your DC could go in your place. I don't think the teachers should have to stay late or give up planning time to accommodate a job you've chosen knowing full well you have committments as a parent. Where are your kids until 7.30 every night?

It's completely fine.

Did you bold that line for the OP or was it actually bolded in the newsletter?

It is a little rude in that it's clearly a dig at particular parents that take the piss, but I also think it's the sign of a very good head teacher. The point made is entirely correct, and I'd like to see more head teachers care about the welfare of their staff in that way.

It's a bit patronizing with the statement that everyone can make it regardless of job. Especially because the majority of those parents will be trying to get the 6 pm - 7 pm slots so there won't be the capacity for everyone even if none worked the whole of the allotted session.

But she's mainly trying to be very clear about the fact her staff are not at parents' beck and call for this and the parents need to try and fit in. I'm not sure there's a way to tell parents that that won't come across as rude to some because a lot of parents refuse to hear the message that the teachers' time is at least as valuable as their own unless it's done in a way that overstates things.

one day of 1:30-7 would be unworkable for many people.

With SIX MONTHS notice?

I couldn't do the parents meet in Oc - I was working away - so my DH went alone.

He couldn't do it this Feb, so I went alone.

Some people might have exceptional circumstances, but not most people.

That’s shit. I could book a half day holiday but given I’m a single parent with weeks and weeks of holiday to cover from a single allowance I wouldn’t take kindly to the idea.

But at our school the teachers are available for 8.45 am meetings if absolutely necessary. Which this most recent parents’ evening it was because I was covering colleagues with important family health issues to deal with. So I couldn’t be there. I get that some parents take the piss but this is just insulting to working parents. And indeed people with other responsibilities.

Schools should be working in partnership with parents. Not telling them off.

No that's fine. A lot of parents blame their jobs for not coming in. The school have catered for this so they're not accepting this as a reason.

Assuming that the dates are published in September and are not subject to last-minute changes then the head is perfectly correct.

In response to the OP's actual question, no it doesn't seem rude to me in the slightest.

What jobs do people have where they literally cant book an afternoon off 6 months in advance?

Any job where there's a maximum number of people allowed off at one time and the date is already booked up. Holiday booking opens 15 months in advance where I work.

Also jobs where certain periods are embargoed for leave.

Given that we have had 2 WEEKS notice of parents evening, I have written in very blunt terms to school noting that it's unreasonable to expect to be able to rearrange work commitments on that schedule.

I’d struggle if that was a work day as I often do a 1-10pm shift. I’d need at least two days to choose from.

Seems a bit rude to me but I assume she/he is fed up with parents taking the piss

It's completely fine.

I am among the family who are not home that early, but I still can't see any issue with that. Leave work earlier one day, or miss one parent evening if you are not around that week.

Teachers don't own parents to work ridiculous hours, some are single parents too. Some people seem to forget that by definition teachers and headteachers are WORKING people too, so if they have kids they are working parents.

Out of touch, yes. Rude, not so much.

One parent only needs to go. For a primary age child, there is usually a parent available somewhere before 7 since childcare doesn’t go on that long! Appointments made on other days will inevitably be for longer - a 15 min update for example, whereas on parents night you keep to schedule more as the next parent is waiting. There won’t just be one parents night in the year either, will there?

*Any job where there's a maximum number of people allowed off at one time and the date is already booked up. Holiday booking opens 15 months in advance where I work.

Also jobs where certain periods are embargoed for leave*

And those days just happen to be random weekdays in term time and affect both parents?

Are you one of the parents who do this op?

We start at 1.30pm and finish at 7pm so whatever job you have, you can still make the consultation

I'd have added the word 'hopefully' to this sentence.

Whatever job you have? Has he never heard of a 12 - 8 shift - very common in call centres and late-opening retail.

Have you never heard of annual leave?

Where my dsis used to work annual leave was booked a year in advance - couldn't save the odd day here or there for emergencies either. Unless soneone took pity and was prepared to swop a shift she wouldnt have been able to make it. Needless to say she doesnt work there anymore!

Find something more important to worry about, please.

Absolutely fine - if parents aren't invested enough in their DC's education to make some effort to attend parents evening, why should the teachers? I work very long hours, leaving the house at 6.45am and not getting home until gone 8pm most days, DH leaves at 5.15am and gets home around 6.45pm with the DC. One of us ensures we juggle things so we can attend parents evening. We've never both attended but we ensure between us, we cover them all because it matters very much to us.