Is this school newsletter too rude?

[RudeHead]

NC as obviously outing to other parents. This week's primary school newsletter had the following from the head^^ about parents' evening...

Thank you for all the positive comments that teachers received yesterday. They all work so hard for each child in their class. Though I have noticed that there are too many parents not attending the parents meeting and making individual appointments with teachers before and after school This will not be allowed. We start at 1.30pm and finish at 7pm so whatever job you have, you can still make the consultation. I have to keep the workload down for our teachers. If there is a reason why you cannot meet on the designated parent consultation, which is dated in September, then please write to me.

AIBU that this is unacceptably rude? I feel like I should write in or something. I get her point but surely there's a better way to make it?

My husband would have struggled with that slot previously, but with notice, most things are achievable if you want them to be. It wreaks of a headteacher sick of entitled parents who fail to plan and expect special arrangements to be made for them.

Not rude at all. Very factual. And if you have a genuine reason you can’t make the times she says to tell her and it’ll be fine

Naive and kind of laughable that s/he has no idea of how varying jobs are, but not rude.

The trouble is, if 30 sets of parents 'can't make' parents' evening for whatever reason then that is 30 additional meetings the teacher has to have. Obviously it is unlikely to be all 30 sets of parents that would say this but you get my point!

I find it hard to grasp that most people cannot book a half day off several months in advance to attend? There are some exceptions but the head then asks parents to write in advance, presumably so this can be planned around.

I am both a teacher and a parent of children at primary school.

I think the head is wrong to say "whatever job you have you can still make the consultation" as there will inevitably be exceptions.

However - if the dates are publicised in September for a March parents consultation, then everyone should be able to get a parent there somehow... swap shifts, book a half-day etc.

The 'whatever job you have' comment just presents the head as utterly out of touch with the real world.

It's a bit blunt, but perhaps the head needs to make a point that parents evenings are the appropriate time for meeting, rather than doing it at each individual parent's leisure. With allowances for shiftworking parents.

Reading between the lines I would suggest the parents have been rude to the teachers and this is the head's response.

What screaming said.

Not true in lots of jobs

I don't think the message as such is unreasonable; but I think when addressing adults, there are better ways of putting it than 'will not be allowed' - 'is not possible' might be better.

We start at 1.30pm and finish at 7pm so whatever job you have, you can still make the consultation

Well, the statement is incorrect. Someone who works a 2-10 shift could not make the consultation. The head is obviously frustrated but they could have worded it better, it sounds unprofessional. If I genuinely couldn't make the consultation because I worked at those times then I would approach the school, if not I'd leave it be.

We start at 1.30pm and finish at 7pm so whatever job you have, you can still make the consultation.

Huge assumption there, this is clearly not true and comes across as patronising.

However parents should be making an effort to make the parent evening, it is not fair to expect teachers to meet them at other times.

Nosquirrels if a date was published in September for March it would still be difficult if not impossible for my OH. And me once upon a time

I think a lot of headteachers forget they are not talking to the kids at times.

Not rude, and certainly more accommodating than my DDs secondary which states that no appts will be made outside of the 1600-2000 parents evening once per year.

They shot themselves in the foot with the “whatever job you have” nonsense.

It’s true that few (in my experience!) children are not in family based childcare between 6pm and 7pm, so a parent or relative could attend in that last hour. Except... not all of them! The 17:30-18:00 slots at ours are always ‘sold out’ first.

I think it’s fine to say “stick to the date”, and it’s not rude. Just embarrassingly ill informed!

Fair comment, unless it's been sprung on you at 2 days notice

The Head Teacher doesn't appreciate that many public sector workers have no control over their shift pattern and often work 12 hour shifts, so her comment is factually untrue. However, she has the right to protect her staff.

Rude and also ignorant. The parents may not even be in the country ffs. Most professional work requires unsociable hours now and then or a long commute so that just isn’t realistic. If they offered time slots over a number of days then yes most families should be able to manage at least one parent but one day of 1:30-7 would be unworkable for many people.

I would have thought most families could get one parent there. For most children, primary parents evenings are a bit of a box ticking exercise anyway.

The parents may not even be in the country ffs

Who is looking after the children then?

I think having appointments as late as 7pm is more than accommodating!
That often means the teacher may well still be there at 8pm as many parents can't tell the time and spend well over their allotted 10 minutes talking about junior. The same teacher will have been in school since 8am that morning, and has to prep for the next day once they've finished.
I'm sorry, but if you can't prioritise your children's parents evening appointments 6 months in advance then you need to give yourself a good talking to.

The whole point is that if there is someone who works those and asks the head then she will make an exception

Its to weed out those who want to move it to best suit them or indeed insist that both parents make it

She is exercising her responsibility to her staff - sometimes you really do need to be blunt to get rid of those who are simply taking the piss

We start at 1.30pm and finish at 7pm so whatever job you have, you can still make the consultation. I have to keep the workload down for our teachers. If there is a reason why you cannot meet on the designated parent consultation, which is dated in September, then please write to me

YANBU

What of you're on a 2 - 10 shift? It's bloody ridiculous. I'm fed up with schools assuming every parent has to run around as they demand. There's nobody keeping my workload down, why should they get special treatment. This really pisses me off.