Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unable to move the car AIBU?

159 replies

MrsElizabethShelby · 18/03/2019 19:29

So, I know DH WBVVU but was I?

This morning we took the car on the school run. Don't usually but needed to today.

I cannot drive. I don't have a license. DH parks across a driveway with a car in it.

I said to DH 'you can't park there' he objected and said ' oh, il only be a minute' and jumped out to run DD1 into school.

The minute DH was out of sight owner comes out of her house keys in hand and mouths at me that she needs to leave.

I rolled down the window, apologized and said husband will be back in a sec.

She repeated she needed to leave. I apologized again and explained that I can't drive and that even if I could DH has the keys and he will be back any minute.

This time she shouted she needed to leave. I said I'm sorry I've tried to explain and rolled my window back up.

I could have taken DD1 into school but DH had jumped out and gone before I had even had chance to suggest it.

Woman begins banging on my window shouting at me to move the car. Frightening my infant DD2 and making her cry.

Husband told her to wind her neck in when he got back and we ended up falling out as it was his fault as he parked there is the first place.

All of this took place over the space of about 5 minutes.

OP posts:
tickingthebox · 18/03/2019 19:47

... I should just add it's highly irritating having your daily commute delayed by "just a moment" ten minutes while someone "pops" their precious into school.

FleeceDetective · 18/03/2019 19:48

I think I’d have got out of the car at the same time as he was doing so, saying I wasn’t prepared to be embarrassed publicly by being sat in the car.

Even if it meant having to take another child out of the car too and sitting on a wall some hundred yards down the road.

Absolutepowercorrupts · 18/03/2019 19:51

Some of the comments here are ridiculous, you were not to blame, your husband was, he seems to be an entitled arse, but you live with him so you'll know that already. The woman was BU, I lived next door to a school and I remember well how annoying some of the parents could be. Definitely not your fault though

gamerchick · 18/03/2019 19:51

Your husband's a dick and you need to tell him that if he pulls that kind of stunt again he can do the school run on his own.

Next time you take the bairn in although I'm not sure why it took 2 of you to do the school run.

Original poster
MrsElizabethShelby · 18/03/2019 19:54

We do usually walk in.

Honestly didn't really want a debate about it so when he said 'oh il just be a minute' I suppose I just kind of thought ' whatever DH'

Oh and DD only has her coat and book bag. Must have taken less then 10 seconds for them to both jump out and be gone.

OP posts:
OKhitmewithit · 18/03/2019 19:54

Why wouldn’t you take your DD in? You’re husband is a fucking moron. You are searching for reasons that you’re not, but because you should have found another way, I think you’re guilty by association. Heard of dual enterprise?

KismetJayn · 18/03/2019 19:55

My STBX has put me in this position twice before.

It's one of the reasons I'm leaving him. Sounds minor and definitely not the sole reason, but he couldn't understand why it was scary and humiliating to have someone asking you to drive out of their way when you physically can't.

Original poster
MrsElizabethShelby · 18/03/2019 19:55

Because we were off somewhere else afterwards gamerchick its usually just me and DD's

OP posts:
Purpleartichoke · 18/03/2019 19:56

Having lived in a dense area, not even near a school, where this was constantly a problem, I don’t blame the woman for screaming at you. You aren’t the first car to block her drive and you won’t be the last. People are ridiculously inconsiderate and frankly sometimes deserve to be on the receiving end of a little screaming.

Nairobe · 18/03/2019 19:57

Your husband is a selfish prick. Doubly so for not apologising and being rude.

She was unreasonable for banging though i doubt your husband will do it again now, so perhaps unreasonable but effective...

Nicknacky · 18/03/2019 19:57

So you can’t really complain that the woman banged on the car. You didn’t do anything to prevent the situation.

donquixotedelamancha · 18/03/2019 19:57

Bobble I'm intrigued as to how you think I could have made a grown man move a car he didn't want to move.

If you can't 'make' your husband do something in an important and urgent situation, there is something very wrong. Presumably you accepted his answer that it wasn't a big deal- either because you agreed or because you felt he'd be angry if you gainsayed him.

I don't think banging on the window is a particularly extreme response to this level of CFery. This is all on your husband.

BluebadgenPIP · 18/03/2019 19:57

If you thought “whatever DH” then you’re as bad as he is.

Ellisandra · 18/03/2019 19:59

In your own words, your husband is “a colossal cunt”.

Lucky you.

chandylier · 18/03/2019 20:00

If he was driving, why did he get out of the car with Dd?
Makes much more sense for you to get out with her, especially if he couldn't get a proper space

Dippypippy1980 · 18/03/2019 20:02

Your husband is an arse. I would have been mortified to have been put in this situation by this selfish entitled little man.

Why is his day more important than the person who he blocked in.

She shouldn’t have banged the window, but she might not have believed that you couldn’t move the car, she just thought you were a selfish horrid person who put their needs ahead of her right to leave her house when she wanted.

AlexaAmbidextra · 18/03/2019 20:03

Your DH told her to wind her neck in when he had knowingly obstructed her drive? Fucking outrageous. If I’d been her I’d have wanted to smack him in the mouth. I presume he wouldn’t have told a 6’4”, 18 stone man to wind his neck in.

JaneEyre07 · 18/03/2019 20:03

I'd have rammed your car out of the way, frankly.

Why would you block someone's drive? That's some level of self-entitlement.

AuntieCJ · 18/03/2019 20:03

Yup. Colossal cunt.

Ellisandra · 18/03/2019 20:03

Also note that your colossal cunt of a husband’s response was to tell her to “wind her neck in”.

Not apologise.

You must be so proud to be married to this prince Hmm

BluebadgenPIP · 18/03/2019 20:05

I would have taken a photo of the parking and a photo of your number plate and rung the police.

Wonder if your DH would tell a copper to wind his neck in?

LarryGreysonsDoor · 18/03/2019 20:05

She shouldn’t have banged on the windows, especially after you explained that you didn’t have the keys and can’t drive anyway.

However, your husband is a dick for parking there.

gamerchick · 18/03/2019 20:05

Because we were off somewhere else afterwards gamerchick its usually just me and DD's

I realised that after I posted. Took a while to click into gear there for a minute.

shaggedthruahedgebackwards · 18/03/2019 20:06

Your DH is a selfish knob but you obviously already know that. The fact that he told the woman to 'wind her neck in' rather than apologising like any normal person confirms what an arrogant (in addition to selfish) knob he is.

There was not a lot you could have done to appease the woman since you couldn't move the car but I don't blame her for being mightily pissed off.

donquixotedelamancha · 18/03/2019 20:07

If he was driving, why did he get out of the car with Dd? Makes much more sense for you to get out with her

I think you are missing something fundamental about the way these people think: they do not give a shit about the impact on others.

That's why he parked over someone's drive, that's why he left his wife to deal with it if someone was inconvenienced and that's why he verbally abused the poor woman who couldn't go to work.

These strategies work. If you are lazy and have no self respect then giving no thought to consequences and being aggressive when challenged is a really effective way of getting what you want.