To think my oh is tight?

[isitbedtimeyett]

I'm still stuck in my maternity clothes baggy and to big would love some new stuff.
OH is trying to get his savings back up as we spent a lot last year. I have no money as I have been paying for the holiday as it had to be paid of by March 20th so I've cleared it.

He's got 3k left in his bank and gets paid £120 cash in hand a day. I've asked him for some money to just get a few new things for myself and he's not having it. He's saying he's the only one paying bills he's got this bill to pay and this bill so he's not giving me anything. Just want to add the bills are small bills £40 virgin £110 gas and electric that's it.

Aibu or is he being really tight?

I feel so down about myself I've had a lot of these clothes from my first pregnancy with DS.

Yes, he's tight. If he isn't prepared to help his partner buy adequate clothing then he isn't much of a keeper.

Is he contributing towards the holiday? It doesn't sound like a fair division of funds to me.

He sounds financially controlling. Can you get a job?

My DH is extremely money conscious. He's a big saver and would rather save a quid than spend it.

However - when it comes to me, or anything I want/need, he's the most generous man you could ever meet. Nothing is too much.

There's a fine line between being budget conscious and being selfishly tight. I think your OH is the wrong side of the line.

Who pays for weekly food shopping? Can you get some new stuff in Tesco/Sainsbury’s maybe?
And yes, he does sound mean. Why did you have to use your money to pay for the holiday?

Who is paying the mortgage/rent/council tax? Why is he being paid cash in hand?
Yes, he should be helping the mother of his child.

Thinking outside of the box, do you have points on your Clubcard or Nectar, that you could convert into vouchers for clothing ? Sometimes a small amount of retail therapy goes along way to making you feel better about yourself .

I'm totally missing the point of the thread but does he pay tax on his £120 a day cash in hand job?

Bit harsh on your OH if I'm honest - presumably you're getting maternity pay? Maybe he is worried about financially carrying the family whilst you're not working and you have no idea of what the pressure and stress feels like unless you've been the one with such a big responsibility.

£3,000 isn't much in savings for a whole family so I can see why he feels a bit insecure.

It doesn't see right that you've paid for the whole holiday though. Was that from maternity pay?

Thinking outside of the box, do you have points on your Clubcard or Nectar, that you could convert into vouchers for clothing

This is a really good idea. Sainsbury's have some really nice things in at the moment

I agree with HarrysOwl

Dh is very much focussed on saving a large chunk of money every week, but if me or dc need anything like that then we are 100% going to get it

When we first got together he was really generous but he had money then and and had a higher paid job he's worried now that if that 3k is gone we will have nothing which is fair enough.

He put his half of the holiday on the credit card and I had to pay my half of.

We don't pay any rent or mortgage he did work on 20 new builds and the man couldn't pay him so he let us live here rent free for two years.

I just have like vest tops and jumpers the rest is maternity i have some other tops but there like stuff from my teens I couldn't wear them now lol!

When does the 2 years rent free end?

He's being really unfair.

And if he's put the holiday on credit card, he has £3,000 less 50% of the cost of holiday. Does he have any more debt? I can see why he's worried tbh

Next August we're hoping to be able to buy by then.

Holiday was 3500

Surely you must have some clothes? How old are you? Absolutely nothing pre pregnancy??

Agree with vouchers or look online for sales. £120per day is quite a lot imo, that's nearly £4K a month! Surely he can afford to give you one days salary for some new basics?

Free rent sounds nice for 2years but I guess it was just compensation for not being able to pay. When does that finish?

Next August we're hoping to be able to buy by then

That's a very short time to save up so much. Are you generally more optimistic about finances and he's more pessimistic?

So if he's put £1,750 on his card then even assuming no more debt, your family savings are only £1,250. I don't think he's being right I think he's trying to be responsible. The problem IMO is that he's not involving you in that decision. It shouldn't be unilateral.

I think if he's got £3k in savings, I can't see why hed have a problem with you having £200 to update your wardrobe. I think he's being a bit tight.

However there seem to be bigger issues:

1. why don't you have access to family money? Why are you even having to ask your husband for money for basic clothes?
2. if as a family you can't afford some new basic clothes, why are you spending money on an expensive holiday?

Holiday was 3500

You must be joking !!!
Who the fuck decides to go on £3500 holiday when they have no money???!

£120per day is quite a lot imo, that's nearly £4K a month

If he works 20 days a month then surely it's 2,400 per month gross? That's not much to try to support a family on.

We both have separate accounts I do most of the food shops car insurance DS nursery.

Then he pays for everything else but he puts 300 in his savings every week.