To think my oh is tight?

[isitbedtimeyett]

I'm still stuck in my maternity clothes baggy and to big would love some new stuff.
OH is trying to get his savings back up as we spent a lot last year. I have no money as I have been paying for the holiday as it had to be paid of by March 20th so I've cleared it.

He's got 3k left in his bank and gets paid £120 cash in hand a day. I've asked him for some money to just get a few new things for myself and he's not having it. He's saying he's the only one paying bills he's got this bill to pay and this bill so he's not giving me anything. Just want to add the bills are small bills £40 virgin £110 gas and electric that's it.

Aibu or is he being really tight?

I feel so down about myself I've had a lot of these clothes from my first pregnancy with DS.

Whoa why are you spending 3.5k on a holiday?

Not a long term solution but have you looked in charity shops for some better fitting/different clothes?

But that's all bills. what about spending money? How do you pay for dinner our with friends? Or a new book? Or new clothes?

There's not enough information to say if he's tight or not. Sounds like he's responsible for all the bills and you overspent last year. His is the only income. You want to buy "a few new things for yourself" when it looks like you can't really afford it. He's maybe just being prudent when there are young children to be paid for.

Why on earth splurge £3500 on a holiday ? Do you have a separate fund for saving for your own home once the two years are up?

Where does your money come from? And how much do you get per week/month??

paid £120 cash in hand a day.

So you both want to enjoy free healthcare dentistry and nursery places while avoiding the taxman AND going on a £3.5k

The pair of you are cheeky buggers
PAY YOUR TAXES!!!!

Misses point of thread

He works everyday odd weekend he will have a Sunday of like yesterday.

He will clear his credit card in a few weeks though so it's not like we can't afford it.

I get child benefit maternity pay and child maintenance for DS. I get £1140

Perhaps if you’d had a far cheaper holiday you’d be able to buy new clothes? I can’t understand why you’d pay so much for a holiday when you don’t have the money.

@Horsemenoftheaclopalypse he's self employed

he's self employed

That doesn't mean he doesn't pay tax! When you say cash in hand do you mean he has a day rate of £120 and sorts out his tax via self assessment at the end of the year? Because that's not normally what it means!

Can you get some from the charity shop or eBay? Sounds like you need to tighten your belts.

@Nathansmommy1 ah god point! Can't believe I missed that 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

People have different priorities. For me, having a few clothes would be more important than an expensive holiday. Sounds like you have made a different priority call.

*good

@sar302 most people don't go for dinner out with friends, it's an expensive luxury. I also don't buy books unless I can't find them online as again, they're an expensive luxury over household/food stuff.

You've got a lot of take home pay between you considering the lack of bills and zero rent. I think he's being tight tbh. If he's happy forking out for a holiday then I think he should be happy to give you some money for clothes. I wouldn't ask, I'd just spend it but we've got a joint account.

He will clear his credit card in a few weeks though so it's not like we can't afford it

This is a worrying phrase - paying off a debt doesn't mean there is money to burn elsewhere! I can see why he's looking to build up his savings.

what about spending money? How do you pay for dinner our with friends? Or a new book? Or new clothes? . To be fair, for a lot of people all of this is a luxury when you have two young children and one income.

If you're living rent free with minimal bills and OH is earning £120 a day - why have you only got £3000 savings and credit card debt?

Where's the money going?

You've got a lot of take home pay between you considering the lack of bills and zero rent. I think he's being tight tbh. If he's happy forking out for a holiday then I think he should be happy to give you some money for clothes. I wouldn't ask, I'd just spend it but we've got a joint account

That is easy to say but would leave them with savings of less that £1,250 and no chance of buying anywhere next August when they have to leave this house

I get £1140

So approx £270 per week.
How much is food shopping? Car insurance? And nursery ?

Why on Earth are you spending that kind of money on a flipping holiday? I had been going to say your OH is possibly a bit tight, but I think you are both crazy to be spending 3.5k on something with nothing tangible to show for it.

£120 per day is not a lot of money and it does sound suspicious when you say his employer couldn't afford to pay him so is letting you live rent free in a house instead.

I'd have thought you could get a few cheap things out of your own money. Has your shape changed now and you need different sizes to pre pregnancy?

@Namechangeforthiscancershit he won't use his savings to pay of the holiday savings don't get touched.

Food shopping £60-70
Insurance £170
Nursery £380

Do you really need to be paying for the nursery if you are not working at the moment (assuming you are not as you receive maternity pay).

This money could be used for clothes etc surely?

He probably doesn’t work every day, so £120/day will actually average out to a lot less. Then take into account his tax free allowance, I doubt he actually owes that much in tax. He should still be paying it though.

In what world do people who have at best £30k income (assuming works every week day in a year, leaving out OP’s benefits) manage to afford a £3.5k holiday? Crazy.