To think my oh is tight?

[isitbedtimeyett]

I'm still stuck in my maternity clothes baggy and to big would love some new stuff.
OH is trying to get his savings back up as we spent a lot last year. I have no money as I have been paying for the holiday as it had to be paid of by March 20th so I've cleared it.

He's got 3k left in his bank and gets paid £120 cash in hand a day. I've asked him for some money to just get a few new things for myself and he's not having it. He's saying he's the only one paying bills he's got this bill to pay and this bill so he's not giving me anything. Just want to add the bills are small bills £40 virgin £110 gas and electric that's it.

Aibu or is he being really tight?

I feel so down about myself I've had a lot of these clothes from my first pregnancy with DS.

I don't understand why you're saying can't afford new clothes but you can afford half of a £3.5k holiday.

It's simple - you've chosen a holiday instead of clothing.

Keep a list of all your outgoings for a week and you'll see where your money goes. It isn't just disappearing.

I can't even comment on the tax stuff and it being "dodgy". I've worked my arse off for years for shit money to gain experience, clawed my way up the ladder and now run a business and pay tens of thousands in tax every year, in addition to paying staff who in turn pay into the system. After salaries and tax (I prioritise these before anything for myself obviously) there isn't much left but it's fine because I love my work and being my own boss.

I don't begrudge paying so much tax because I'm proud our country supports those in need.

But I'm really, really pissed off I won't have a holiday again this year because of my tax bill and you're going to be going on a £3.5k one.

Stop moaning and realise how blessed you are to be in a position where you can say you have no money yet go on that expensive holiday.

Ffs.

I don't think your oh is tight and you need to manage your money better.

Your paying £3500 for a holiday when all you have is £3000 in his bank and you are hoping to buy a house next year? Not a chance you will get a house when he’s working for cash in hand and you don’t have a large deposit to buy.

Sorry but booking a £3500 holiday when you can’t afford clothes is just stupid.

I have the same amount in savings as your DP, I can’t afford to buy new clothes for the summer so will be wearing old stuff, I’m not going on holiday and would never book a holiday I couldn’t pay for outright. £3000 in savings can be gone in a flash is you need a new car, washing machine or new carpet.

Sounds like you are both immature when it comes to handling money.

You say he only has to pay small bills but they do all mount up, electric, gas, council tax, water, car tax, car insurance, credit cards....

I think if your planning to buy in august you need to save every penny you can and that 3500 on a holiday is mad if your after a mortgage as thats cost more than you have saved up. Having said that if its things you need he should be helping same as if your child needs something. My main issue here is the cash in hand he should be declaring.

I'm sure her partner pays tax- why does everyone assume when you work for yourself you don't pay tax? It's illegal not to. Obviously OP and her partner made a bad decision buying a holiday when she doesn't even have any clothes/saving for a mortgage etc.

I'm sure her partner pays tax- why does everyone assume when you work for yourself you don't pay tax?

I agree with you, but she said cash in hand which confused the situation a little

@Namechangeforthiscancershit ah I see, god if I got paid cash in hand I'd definitely over spend. I find it easier to have it in my account to manage.

Your OH gets £120 per day and works nearly every day of the week? So between you you’re bringing in about £57,000 per year after “tax” and apparently haven’t got a pot to piss in? No rent or anything and got barely any savings and can’t buy clothes. You need to sit down and work all of this out because apart from anything else, it seems bonkers that you’re the one paying he highest expenses out of very little money, but then have no access to family money. He only pays two bills a month out of £42k how insane is that?

I'm sure her partner pays tax- why does everyone assume when you work for yourself you don't pay tax? It's illegal not to

The Op says that her dp’s father pays the dp’s taxes. Then she says that he gives him a lump sum to pay taxes. It sounds an odd arrangement to say the least.

ah I see, god if I got paid cash in hand I'd definitely over spend. I find it easier to have it in my account to manage

You and me both bad enough when it is safely with the bank

cash in hand used to only mean people being paid in cash and not declaring it. I think recently more people use it to just mean that they're paid in cash and are self employed. It would be pretty brave of the OP to come on a massive forum and happily state that her OH doesn't pay his taxes!

The Op says that her dp’s father pays the dp’s taxes. Then she says that he gives him a lump sum to pay taxes. It sounds an odd arrangement to say the least.

That's why I wondered if he's on CIS (where building workers get their money paid net of tax, the money is set aside to pay the tax and it's all sorted out when they submit their accounts; the money set aside is usually more than covers the tax and the balance is paid to the worker). Under CIS you can nominate someone else to get paid on your behalf.

Sounds like Ops partner works under CIS. So yes, his day rate would be take home pay. Not unusual in the building trade for it be referred to as cash in hand either.

If I'm correct, he will be due a lump sum refund of tax soon, as CIS doesn't take personal allowance or work related expenses into account. You pay 20% on everything, so his gross day rate would be £144.
If that's the case, and with Ops income, I'd say of course they can afford the holiday. And the clothes.

Sounds like bad planning (on how/when/by who) on paying for the holiday. Also the savings is good but again, bad planning with regards the holiday.

OP, if you do keep everything separate like that, can you ask him.to.loan you the money for the clothes and pay him back over 2-3 months? It just means you get the clothes now rather than waiting.
He might see that differently iyswim?

Sounds like he has a plan for when the rent free period ends is all rather than being a tightwad

No he isn't tight. You have money that you get each month of your own too. Spend some of it on clothes for yourself. I'm sure you don't need to buy food to eat out every time you go shopping.

I think your OH is just been very careful with money Just have a sit down and talk about maybe having just one week he doesnt save as much?

On the other hand i find a lot of the replies on this thread rather rediculous, jumping to conclusions that this ladies OH is a tax dodger just because he gets paid cash. Wow.
I get paid cash daily and i am self employed and guess what i pay tax! So rather going off the track and getting on high horses sharing links to HMRC websites. Just say if you think OP is being unreasonable or not. Some people are so rude.

The OP said regarding the tax situation: "it's all a bit dodgy to be honest"

That's why we think it's a bit dodgy.

I know it sounds silly but if he's adamant not to hand over any cash, get yourself to charity shops you'll be amazed what you can find :) I like some makes and I've walked out of charity shops with some lovely bits, each to their own tho just a suggestion x