How does this birthday card make you feel?

[Fretful]

Without giving any background as I would like some unbiased opinions, please

It could have been a humorous card if the man had turned off the heating when going out and had forgotten that his partner was at home.

As it is deliberately being turned off because she is having to stay at home and he isn't, it's not funny.

I feel the card is
Enabling
Perpetuating
Ignorant

People can now be sentenced for an emotionally/psychological abusive relationship. Other than that rip up the card.

Jim Royle used this joke to Barbara in the Royle family. I thought it was quite funny.
Possibly because I love the Royle family I wouldn’t be offended.
Who gave it to you?

Typically I didn’t read the whole thread so I didn’t know the backstory. So please ignore my reply xxx

Some people don’t know what to do or say when they know somebody close to them is in an abusive relationship. I’d think in your situation, it would bring up so many possibilities for my anxiety to get carried away with, I would be a real mess.

In my experience, when speaking to women that have fled abuse, there’s one thing that they all say and that’s that they wish they’d done it sooner. Leaving is always the hardest part but there is good advice and support on the relationships board and if you can’t talk to anyone else about this yet, please do talk to Mumsnet.

Hmmm it’s mildly amusing. Depends on if you always have the heating on and cost a fortune.

It's the type of joke a man would send to his male friend as it's a male humour joke card but it isn't the type of card you'd send to your wife/girlfriend as they might not see the funny side of it.
Myself (being male) chuckled at it, but it's the type of card I would send to my best friend as he would laugh at it, but, that is the type of card we send each other every year.

Agree with TestingTesting above. It's pretty shit.

OP, I hope you do start a new thread on the Relationships board. Posters there will want to help you. I’m sorry that you’re having a shit time and please don’t lose hope of a brighter future. It worked out for me.

If posters can’t be arsed to read a whole thread before posting, then at least skim through them for updates from the OP.

Fretful. Its a crap card. Maybe the sender maybe trying to say that's how they view him, and the joke was on him rather than you. When I saw it first it reminded me of the old Andy Capp cartoons in the Daily Mirror in the 1970s when I was learning to read. I don't find it funny because its like the guy crushing her hopes or just treating her as if she is invisible, whilst thinking he's being considerate. It makes me cringe. I hope you do reach out and get the support you need. Wishing you all the best.

It doesn’t bother me. The joke is rubbish and not worth the card it was printed on.

I would be more offended by it if I were given it and the sender thought that my sense of humour were that dense.

Just read your context of the card and completely understand why you feel the way you do about it.

Actually thats the first laugh I've had today! If you find this joke offensive then you really are a prude.

I would say it is given to someone in a family as an “insider joke”. In my family both sides there are tight fisted individuals. Both of which are man and live in stereotypical households of bread winner and house wife and often there is a battle over the heating controls.

Instead of there being horrid relations over it the tight fisted get ribbed terribly over it and they are joked their way out of their meanness. So this would likely be something given in our household by a teenager or grown up child to the mum or dad and there would be the inevitable roll eye and chuckle over it.

I think it’s humorous and wouldn’t give much more thought to it.

However, context is highly important and with your update, I would say it was nasty and I’d be a bit pissed off.

It’s not so much the card that would be the issue for me- it’s the fact someone who gave you it clearly has no compassion or tact with regards to your situation.

it is one of those jokes that is hard to to laugh at - even ironically- but is in fact part of the insidious undermining of women's value by male culture and as such is horrific - and by being funny it says it is ok to treat women like this for real and this is the tip of the iceberg. because this is reality for some women who are in abusive relationships- many of whom I have helped over the years to escape from such relationships as terrible cost to everyone -so no unlike the few responses I read I cannot agree that this is anything other than horrendous and should not be found funny at all - women in safe lives should be thoughtful and supportive to women who are not in such lucky positions and victim blaming is not good sport either

Made me chuckle. But I'm not surprised that so many Mumsnetters have felt the need to declare it offensive. Some people would be offended if they won the lottery. Miserable sods.

Very '70's.
Was it given by an older male?

nostaoles nailed it. This card is bollocks in the 21st century and no-one should put up with this crap. OP I hope you find the resources and strength to leave your relationship. You deserve better.

It’s a crap old sexist joke, something from 70’s & 80’s working men’s clubs. I wouldn’t be pleased to receive it.

nostaples

If my other got me that plus naice bunch of flowers AND took me out. I would think haha funny bastard

BUT If someone got me JUST that I would think they are having a laugh and thinking they are great at being a total mizer.. And honestly they would get told to get to fuck.. Cause I would think they are taking the absolute piss

but is in fact part of the insidious undermining of women's value by male culture and as such is horrific
This is quite funny as well. Maybe the card manufacturer should include it inside the card to keep the laughs going. Bless you.

the reason for sending this card to you must have cut very deeply. You are not alone. (Hugs)