To think if a child accidently pours Ribena over Coco Pops instead of milk, you don't make them eat it?

[AliceAbsolum]

Me, aged 8. That memory is causing a disproportionate amount of distress. It was a lot of Ribena and I felt so sick 🙁 Or maybe I'm being a wuss and it was a proportionate punishment?

You remember the horrible taste, and how it felt to be made to eat it but may not remember the circumstances.... discipline by logical consequences, and carrying out your threats were/ are parenting mantras. You can imagine a situation where a faffing/ careless/ naughty child had tipped her drink across the table ... again.. or maybe had a track record of 'accidentally' knocking juice into meals she didn't feel like eating?..exasperated parent eventually says 'if you knock your drink into your breakfast again you will eat it like that!.....and has to follow through or lose face?
If this is the worst thing that happened in your childhood then you had a pretty good one. If on the other hand it is one of many instances of deliberate petty cruelty then yanbu to be distressed by it.

You said that there was a lot of Ribena, how did you not notice the milk was purple before there got to be so much of it in your bowl? Not saying that making you eat it was ok, just thinking that maybe they thought that it wasn't a mistake?

That’s really mean.

That said- things were different then. Parents had different mind sets then to now

I would have.

But neither would I have followed through on an "ear them or wear them" threat about cornflakes. (That one backfired😝)

Nor made them sit and eat fish for two hours when every bite made them retch.

But sometimes parents do silly things in moments of stress so I have forgiven her.

My gross children probably would eat at least some of it out of curiosity, possibly followed by 'ew mum, this is gross, try some' but no, I wouldn't make them eat it.

Oh op and all the other people with sad stories. You poor things. You deserved better.

Ignore everyone saying 'get over it'. It's not as easy as that, is it ?

That was cruel and abusive of her, I mean neat squash - really folks?

Sounds like a 70's style punishment :(

I hope you feel more validated after reading the supportive comments on here, that may help you process it.

The responses about OP being 8 therefore should've known what she was doing are fucking stupid and you look ridiculous. How about you use your superior power of thought and consider how this can happen other than someone messing around. Hint: even adults can and do make silly mistakes for a variety of reasons.

Surely it’s all about context? Is this the worst thing you remember from an otherwise happy enough childhood or part of s wider issue with parents.
As a one off it might be the reaction of a parent who was going through something themselves, parents are also people flaws. As part of a pattern of mean behaviour then it’s s bit more worrying.
But on the face of it I don’t think it’s abusive.

Not nice at all! My dad accidentally poured orange juice on my cornflakes when I was 5 and he binned then! He is also a genuinely abusive man (multiple cases of DV against woman and I think my half sister) but he didn’t do that to me! It’s definitely extreme!

No, not reasonable at all to make a child literally eat a mistake.

It's the same as a parent saying "you'll sit there until you've eaten every last bit" after presenting a child with something they clearly won't eat because they simply find it inedible.

It just stores up a lot of resentment for the future.

If you're thinking about it now in vivid detail and haven't before, you're probably experiencing something that has triggered that memory.

Please take a moment and go over your current life and see if you're experiencing something similar now?

If you resolve the current conflict, the first one will resolve itself in your mind.

OP, i don't mean eating. I mean the feelings involved.

Sick. Helpless. Angry, etc.

To force anyone to eat anything to prove a point is abuse

to all.

We were skint growing up but as children never knew it. In a case like this we would have been asked to eat 1 spoon/ forkful to remind us to pay attention and then given something else which we might have not been as keen on so in my case would have been tea and toast but wasn't totally awful and still fed us (the butter/ jam / sugar added) would help soften the blow that we weren't getting more coco pops.

The treats were out for that day if it was considered we were messing about but if a genuine accident and there was more left we got them. Depends on if it was seen to happen or not.

Yanbu it causing you distress and anguish and wasn't fair on you as a child, anyone can make a mistake. Nobody is perfect.

Sometimes one thing sticks in your memory because it sums up exactly how you experienced your childhood.
Mine isn't being made to eat maggoty blackberries, surprisingly (although that was gross!). It's the Christmas when I was 11 and I'd made a patchwork cushion for my mother. I'd been sent to boarding school that year and I worked on the cushion because it helped me to feel closer to my mother. It took me about 3 months to finish and was made of hexagons of fabric I'd salvaged from here and there. I had no pocket money to speak of, so I couldn't buy filling and had to scrounge old tights and cut them up. I was so proud of the finished cushion and so excited to have something to give my mother. She opened the present and took one look at the cushion, then said "Oh, you might have lined it, you can see the filling through the fabric" and threw the cushion on the floor.
That exactly sums up the relationship I have always had with my mother and that's why is has stuck in my mind.

for you dribble.
You deserved so much better. Poor little you.

Cannot believe anyone who would condemn you. It was abusive and cruel and hope you are happy now

This just gave me a flashback to my childhood, my brother being sick into his dinner and my ‘dad’ forcing him to eat the meal anyway.

I mean... the realisation of abuse...

Sorry op. That was totally not ok for that have happened to you

Why on earth is this important know in the context of your adult life!?!?

Well clearly you know fuck all about the emotional and psychological consequences of abuse in childhood in adults them eh.

I'm sitting here amazed that anyone can be so ignorant as to post "just move on" as someone has on this thread. Psychologically damaged because of childhood abuse? Just "move on". What kind of stupid half witted comment is that!

To be clear. Rubens in cereal was not a huge thing my children have done all sorts. The fact is that to make someone this is extremely abusive and damaging..

There are a lot of idiots on this thread. I'm going to call them idiots because I'd rather not think they are minimising and compounding the OP's misery deliberately.

Of course it's fucking abusive. And saying things like 'these things happened', 'it was a hangover from rationing', 'Ribena is expensive' and worst, the smug 'I wouldn't give my children Ribena or CocoPops', is repulsive.

I grew up with what I now realise were the greatest parents in the world. I only began to fully appreciate them when I was in my teens and saw and heard how other people's parents treated them.

Before then, I thought everyone's mum and dad was like mine. No, they're not. I could not believe how some people treated their children - you know, the people that you are supposed to love and protect more than anything in the world?

But even though I grew up with fantastic parents, I can understand that other people's parents are cunts. And that people talk a lot of crap as well.

OP, I am very sorry for you

I have definitely read a previous thread with the same/similar circumstances outlined. Maybe a year or two ago? Something like that would always stay with you.

If you do find yourself revisiting childhood memories like this, op, it might be helpful to have some counselling to enable you to explore your feelings in a safe environment.

Extreme but not worth being upset about it now is it? I’ve been strict as a nanny when. I thought ok actually I was a bit unfair and I thought I wouldn’t react that way again.