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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH wants me to eat meat!

237 replies

ElizabethForever · 17/03/2019 07:33

I have been a vegan my entire life. My parents are vegans and my siblings are. My husband is mainly vegan as I do the food shopping and cooking. I have never stopped him eating the food he wants to eat however anything containing animal products in the garage (we have a fridge/freezer out there).
I am in the very very early stages of pregnancy and since we found our DH keeps making hints that I should be eating meat to keep the baby healthy. I have never had any problems with my iron levels etc but I have never been pregnant before. DH has upset me by suggesting I go against something which is obviously a huge part of my life but I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable to be upset or if hormones are making me think more of it? Thanks

OP posts:
FamilyOfAliens · 17/03/2019 14:28

nobody should be forced to keep their food in the garage.

There you go making things up again. Where does it the OP say she forces her DH to keep animal products in the outside fridge? How do you know it’s not his idea?

You’re just projecting.

BertrandRussell · 17/03/2019 14:33

“Veganism isn't a religion but yes I would still have an issue....nobody should be forced to keep their food in the garage.”

So, when the OP cooks family meals, she should go and get the ingredients from the garage, so that her DH can keep his milk in the kitchen. That just daft!

fascicle · 17/03/2019 14:41

Since OP's husband is mainly vegan, we can presume that most of his food will be kept in the house and not the garage.

I've come across a few people having an extra fridge/and or freezer in a garage - it doesn't seem that uncommon or a hardship.

From some of the comments on here, you'd think that the husband was being confined to the garage for long periods of time.

Wowzel · 17/03/2019 14:42

Make sure you take sufficient B12 supplements - more than you usually would.

I'm a strict vegetarian and gave up eggs in pregnancy as I didn't fancy them. I had very low B12 after delivery and ended up with neurological symptoms which sadly have not completely gone away despite intensive B12 treatment and neurology reviews.

BertrandRussell · 17/03/2019 14:44

I have a fridge freezer in my garden shed.. It’s where “bent bargains” and junk food and other stuff we don’t eat every day lives. Poor ds had to go out In the rain to get himself a burrito just now.

Armadillostoes · 17/03/2019 14:55

Costa-did you not read or not understand the point about there being a human right to religion OR belief? It doesn't matter that veganisn isn't a religion, human rights law accords any serious ethical belief equal dignity.

It isn't a question of forcing a partner to keep food in the garage. It is an issue of balancing the needs of two people who want to live together. If one party holds deep beliefs which mean that they can't have certain foodstuffs in their house, what is the alternative? Telling them to suck it up?

CostanzaG · 17/03/2019 15:18

Bertrand I'm saying nobody should keep their food in the garage .... regardless of who is doing the cooking.

I'm really interested in how this post would have gone down if a woman came on here saying her DH made get keep her vegan food in the garage because it went against his beliefs....I suspect people wouldn't have thought that was acceptable.

kbPOW · 17/03/2019 15:20
Hmm
CostanzaG · 17/03/2019 15:21

I can't believe people are now claiming this is a human rights issue. Fuck me.....I'm out. I can't comprehend this utter madness any more.

LynetteScavo · 17/03/2019 15:39

According to MN it's your body do you can eat what you want.

But as soon as the baby is born the father has as much say in you in raising the baby, so if he wants to feed it formula, and in a few months steak then so be it.

But realistically you need to explain, possibly very simply, you eating meat or any animal products isn't going to happen.

Armadillostoes · 17/03/2019 15:41

Costa-You clearly don't like the fact that society respects people's rights to choose their religion and ethics, but scorn doesn't make you any less bigoted.

BertrandRussell · 17/03/2019 15:53

“I'm really interested in how this post would have gone down if a woman came on here saying her DH made get keep her vegan food in the garage because it went against his beliefs....I ”
But it’s not in the garage because it goes against her beliefs. It’s in the garage because rhT’a where the other fridge is, and it makes sense to keep the most used stuff closest.

fascicle · 17/03/2019 16:01

I'm really interested in how this post would have gone down if a woman came on here saying her DH made get keep her vegan food in the garage because it went against his beliefs

How could anyone object to food which forms part of their own diet? If the DH in your scenario had a problem with a person being vegan per se, then the marriage in this hypothetical example would be a non-starter.

BertrandRussell · 17/03/2019 16:04

Yep. All that vegan fruit and veg. Beans. Bread. Marmite. Peanut butter. Jam. Soup. All that stuff-in the garage!

FamilyOfAliens · 17/03/2019 16:11

Don’t forget the tea and coffee, Bertrand. That would be outside too.

WFTisgoingoninmyhead · 17/03/2019 16:12

I am a lifelong vegan, I had 2 pregnancies and breastfed two babies as a vegan, they were both vegan until my DD reached 14. My DH is an omnivore and tried to tell me I needed meat whilst pregnant, I told him to shut up. Make sure your milk substitute is fortified with calcium and if you can’t stomach plenty of marmite take some B12 you will be fine. To the person claiming animal products won’t make a lifelong vegan sick, you are very wrong.

BertrandRussell · 17/03/2019 16:14

“Don’t forget the tea and coffee, Bertrand. That would be outside too.
Oh yes. And the sugar. And i’ve just made a tin of biscuits that happen to be vegan. Into the garage with them!

ShabbyAbby · 17/03/2019 16:25

I've had this, but with red meat
My ex was convinced I needed it every day at least once for iron, but it made me sick (HG), even the smell
It was ridiculous as I could eat greens, chicken, fish etc. I put it down to his anxiety at the time. But I think he was just being a controlling arsehole looking back

Treacletoots · 17/03/2019 16:33

Oh heavens. I was anaemic when pregnant but 100% shut down those who suggested I shoud be eating liver, beef and so on. Yuk. I just remember eating everything green. Broccoli, kale, kalettes you name it.

HappyGoGoLucky · 18/03/2019 15:43

Sorry this is irrelevant but your post has been made to Daily Mail.

Vegan outraged after husband suggests she eats meat during pregnancy
mol.im/a/6818867

Iggly · 18/03/2019 15:48

Don’t provide the Daily Mail link.

It just generates clicks for that appalling excuse of a newspaper.

lovelygreenjumper · 18/03/2019 15:59

I had been vegetarian for many years when I became pregnant. I specifically asked my doctor and midwife if I needed to eat meat or take supplements during pregnancy. I was told by a number of medical professionals that actually, as a vegetarian, and someone clearly thinking about the nutritional value of what I ate, in all likelihood I my diet would be far healthier than the average meat eater who doesn't worry too much about eating fruit and veg. They told me to take folic acid for the first 12 weeks (as they do for meat eaters) then just to eat a balanced diet. I've had 2 very healthy pregnancies.

My advice would be to ask your DH exactly what nutrition he thinks you might be missing out on. If he can answer specifically, you can look together at how to get this in a vegan diet. If not he should shut up and let you get on with it

NewGrandad · 18/03/2019 16:26

The term is normally Omnivore not meat eater but meat eater sounds better to vegans and vegetarians.

kbPOW · 18/03/2019 16:57

Ah really? Hmm

alicereadthis · 18/03/2019 17:59

Hi - I registered just to reply to you so I hope you read this. Please check out Angela Liddon and her website "Oh She Glows". She is a Canadian Mom of two and a cookbook author who is also vegan. She was vegan before, during and after both pregnancy's and part of her website is a blog about her Mom journey. Most important she's been healthy and happy all that time and given birth to two healthy babies. It is possible as long as you eat right. I'm not vegan but I do eat meatless a few times a week and I use Angela's recipes a lot. I hope some proof for your husband that her and others like her can be vegan and pregnant will help him understand you and your baby will be OK. Best of luck to you!