DH wants me to eat meat!

[ElizabethForever]

I have been a vegan my entire life. My parents are vegans and my siblings are. My husband is mainly vegan as I do the food shopping and cooking. I have never stopped him eating the food he wants to eat however anything containing animal products in the garage (we have a fridge/freezer out there).
I am in the very very early stages of pregnancy and since we found our DH keeps making hints that I should be eating meat to keep the baby healthy. I have never had any problems with my iron levels etc but I have never been pregnant before. DH has upset me by suggesting I go against something which is obviously a huge part of my life but I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable to be upset or if hormones are making me think more of it? Thanks

So it's ok for vegans to breastfeed their babies but not for them to have milk from an animal source. What's that about ?

Whataboutery and stupidfuckwittery all in one post. Bravo

That compromises should work both ways.

From what the OP has posted, it does. She is happy to have animal products in the house and he respects her veganism by keeping them in another fridge.

Still not sure what your point is here.

I am qualified in blood science, thanks.
And it's perfectly reasonable to aim scholarly articles at someone that show the link between iron deficiency in pregnancy and poor foetal outcomes.
What she chooses to DO with that info is entirely up to her, I think you'll find.

I am qualified in blood science, thanks.
And it's perfectly reasonable to aim scholarly articles at someone that show the link between iron deficiency in pregnancy and poor foetal outcomes.
What she chooses to DO with that info is entirely up to her, I think you'll find.

B12 deficiency is not necessarily the massive problem people think.

So much food aimed at vegans and vegetarians is fortified anyway. A single 8g of marmite gives you 80% of your daily requirements. So I get my intake every morning.

Vegan spreads and plant and nut milks are also fortified, as are a multitude of cereals and other foods.

Before I became vegan, I would never have bothered to check my iron, B12 or calcuim intake but now I am aware of it, I monitor our intake, regardless of whether I am pregnant or not.

B12 absorption also decreases with age so older people are advised to supplement too.

There is no reason to change your diet, but maybe take a bit of time to talk through things with DH and make it clear that his child will not be adversely affected. He is clearly supportive of your veganism normally so this is probably just anxiety. He will probably get comments from other people too so it will be good for him to be armed with some facts.

Everyone should have a look at their diet when they become pregnant. I wasn't vegan for my 3rd pregnancy and lost 2 teeth from calcium deficiency and was anemic throughout.

You’re welcome, thumb.

You’re right, no doubt she will ignore those articles if her lifelong veganism has led her to have an inkling about her own health.

@theNavigator

It's a very reputable website & a lot of what it links to is NHS NICE Guidelines etc. The woman who set it up has won an OBE for her work in raising awareness of the problems around B12 testing & diagnosis. Unfortunately the NHS isnt great with diagnosing & treating B12 deficiency/Pernicious Anaemia & it needs help from websites like this.

Which BTW probably saved my daughters life, it definitely saved her mobility as her doctors had written her off to a life in a wheelchair in severe pain., often too I'll to even sit up. Thanks to this website & the support group it links to, she's now walking & back in school again. Left to our doctors, she could very well be dead by now, as could my brother who's deficiencies were also missed & not treat even when found as his doctors didn't understand how serious it was. This lead to a stroke that nearly killed him. I was also misdiagnosed for over 14 years.

The NHS sites will tell you that seaweed & algae forms of B12 can be dangerous though as they block the absorption of real B12

Her DH has to go the garage to get his milk/cheese whatever... it’s not exactly walking two miles to the bloody water pump!

family
My point is that it's bloody ridiculous that someone has to keep their food in the garage.

You'll be fine as will your baby if you follow a vegan diet while you are pregnant. Check with a medical professional and take your husband along to calm him down.
But.
You should probably start a conversation with your husband about how you intend to feed the baby once they start solids, as if he's starting to suggest meat for you now it's highly likely he'll bring it up later. It will be easier to address this now before both of you are tired and stressed when the baby arrives.
And.
Perfectly fine to keep actual meat/fish/chicken etc in a separate fridge but it's a controlling step too far making the poor man keep milk in the garage. That's a bit extreme.

The control is the other way! The husband has to trek out to the garage if he wants anything animal based? So, milk in coffee for example requires a trip to his designated fridge/freezer

I think that's the controlling part

^this

So it's ok for vegans to breastfeed their babies but not for them to have milk from an animal source. What's that about ?

I have just sat for 5 minutes trying to compose an answer to this and there are no words.

Just. Wow.

FamilyofAliens - you're being extremely disingenuous.
The OP might know ALL about her own health but I doubt she knows her own iron levels. And if she's never been pregnant before then that won't factor into her "lifelong" understanding of her own health. I'm not bothered about her own health at all - it's her baby's health that may be at risk if her iron levels are low. Health and development.

So you can keep your PA attitude.

Not sure anyone has mentioned this but iodine is also very important during pregnancy and breastfeeding, for brain development. Not many people realise that unless they are eating a lot of seafood (including seaweed) and milk, they are likely to be deficient. I was really upset when I discovered this towards the end of my first pregnancy and took a supplement through the next.

As others have said, midwives don't really know much about nutrition, especially with non-standard diets. A vegan diet should be fine as long as you read up and are careful.

My point is that it's bloody ridiculous that someone has to keep their food in the garage

My OH keeps his tools in the garage and in the shed way down the garden rather than littering up the house. DIdn't realise that makes me a controlling bitch.

The OP might know ALL about her own health but I doubt she knows her own iron levels.

I doubt anyone knows their own iron levels. Hence the usefulness of blood tests.

...knows her own iron levels without being tested...
I mean.

Midwives and doctors treat symptoms. They don't worry about hypotheticals. If your iron levels drop, they will do something about that.

Vegetarians and vegans, especially long-term ones who've decided to become pregnant, are usually very aware of their own nutritional needs and have an excellent diet. You'll no doubt be taking suitable supplements (esp folic acid) too. There is unlikely to be anything for anyone to worry about. (I was veggie, near vegan in pregnancy and the MW couldn't have been less interested).

Your DH is probably just worrying and a bit nutritionally ignorant. Lots of people absorb 'old wives tales' early in life that emerge at points of stress, years later.

What you need is suitable nutrients, which you are almost certainly getting.

Yes, which, if you'd read properly, you might have noticed I ASKED her if she was getting those checked.

Have you talked with your DH about the child’s diet? It sounds like you will want a began diet and he might disagree.

My point is that it's bloody ridiculous that someone has to keep their food in the garage.

Sounds like it works for the OP’s family, though, otherwise, you know, they probably wouldn’t do it.

So it's ok for vegans to breastfeed their babies but not for them to have milk from an animal source. What's that about ?*

Are people honestly this stupid?

...knows her own iron levels without being tested...
I mean.

Ok, that makes more sense.

I've never known such passion from people until it comes to discussing someone else's dietary choices that has absolutely no impact on them whatsoever!

OP - a good pregnancy supplement (as all pregnant women are recommended to do so these days) alongside a sensible diet (fortified cereals etc) and you should be good. If you breastfeed you will need to consider an omega 3 source. I used seven seas pregnancy multivitamin and boots vegetarian omega 3 capsules. Pretty sure neither are vegan (possibly contain lactose?) but it's probably the closest you'll find to tick the B12, vitamin D and Omega 3 boxes.

Sounds like it works for the OP’s family, though, otherwise, you know, they probably wouldn’t do it.

Well we know it works for her. We don't know how her husband feels about it. And we never will 🤷