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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH wants me to eat meat!

237 replies

ElizabethForever · 17/03/2019 07:33

I have been a vegan my entire life. My parents are vegans and my siblings are. My husband is mainly vegan as I do the food shopping and cooking. I have never stopped him eating the food he wants to eat however anything containing animal products in the garage (we have a fridge/freezer out there).
I am in the very very early stages of pregnancy and since we found our DH keeps making hints that I should be eating meat to keep the baby healthy. I have never had any problems with my iron levels etc but I have never been pregnant before. DH has upset me by suggesting I go against something which is obviously a huge part of my life but I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable to be upset or if hormones are making me think more of it? Thanks

OP posts:
CostanzaG · 17/03/2019 08:49

No one should force you to do anything you're not comfortable with

But it's okay for her to make her DH keep his food in the garage?
No, she shouldn't have to eat meat - it's not necessary for a healthy pregnancy but it's unbelievably controlling to make someone keep their food in the garage! Bloody ridiculous.

FamilyOfAliens · 17/03/2019 08:49

Constanza

What is it about a vegetarian diet that you think will cause your DS to have issues around food textures?

Tinyteatime · 17/03/2019 08:50

Jesus. I wouldn’t live with anyone who made me go out to the garage to have a drop of milk in my coffee. How weird others lives are.

Also My husband is mainly vegan

Bet the moment he leave the house he goes straight to Greggs for a full fat full meat sausage roll!

CostanzaG · 17/03/2019 08:51

rollercoaster and I'm sure she knew he was a meat eater. Why do her needs trump his? I don't eat meat but I'd never dream of making DH keep his food in the garage.

FamilyOfAliens · 17/03/2019 08:51

But it's okay for her to make her DH keep his food in the garage?

Read the OP - it’s only animal products that are kept in the outside fridge. Everything else is presumably in the kitchen fridge.

gauntletthrown · 17/03/2019 08:52

What rubbish!

I'm vegan and my pregnancies have all been fine and produced healthy babies at the end!

Tell him to get stuffed.

FamilyOfAliens · 17/03/2019 08:53

Jesus. I wouldn’t live with anyone who made me go out to the garage to have a drop of milk in my coffee.

But no-one is asking you to, are they?

ScarlettDarling · 17/03/2019 08:53

I can't understand the indignation from so many pps at the husband having to trek into the garage for a drop of milk in his cup of tea. Obviously I don't know about the set up of Op's house, but our garage can be accessed via a door in the kitchen and it takes about 30 seconds longer to get to the fridge in there rather than the fridge in the kitchen.

CostanzaG · 17/03/2019 08:54

What is it about a vegetarian diet that you think will cause your DS to have issues around food textures

That's not what I said. I'm only vegetarian because of my eating disorder...not because I disagree with eating meat. I wish I could eat meat! My DH eats meat as do the rest of our family. I've offered up a varied, balanced diet which fits with our lifestyle. I'm the odd one out in the family.

YeahNah1980 · 17/03/2019 08:54

You need B12 and iron and the levels you need in a pregnancy is impossible to get from a vegan diet without supplements. Your baby can get very very sick or die if you are breastfeeding as well and aren’t getting the right nutrients. I think his intentions are good.

lovinglifexo · 17/03/2019 08:54

It’s just a bit controlling and a bit OTT. like you knew you were marrying a non-vegan. I would refuse.

Rollercoasteryears · 17/03/2019 08:55

ConstanzaG

Because it's his choice whether to be with her on those terms. I imagine plenty of mixed religious marriages have similar rules e.g no non-kosher food in the fridge where one person isn't Jewish, etc. If it's one person's deeply held belief, the other should respect it if it's made clear from the outset.

CostanzaG · 17/03/2019 08:55

Read the OP - it’s only animal products that are kept in the outside fridge. Everything else is presumably in the kitchen fridge.
Doesn't make it any better 🤷

BuffaloCauliflower · 17/03/2019 08:56

Most people wouldn’t be happy with someone bringing in a dead fox or a dead pigeon and putting it in their fridge. But a dead baby pig or chicken is totally fine!

CostanzaG · 17/03/2019 08:57

*rollercoaster"

Veganism isn't a religion.

RockinHippy · 17/03/2019 08:57

In a way he is right & I say that as a vegetarian.

Of course he's not right telling you how to eat & to go against life long principles, but pregnancy & veganism is dangerous for you & your baby. B12 deficiency is VERY serious & can creep up slowly with disabilities & MH problem, stroke or more. It also causes miscarriage

If you've been a vegan a longtime & don't supplement with good B12 & algae & seaweeds are NOT good sources of B12, they are bad for active B12 absorption & contains fake B12 see your doctors urgently & ask for B12 injections for you & your babies sake

TheNavigator · 17/03/2019 08:57

Your baby can get very very sick or die if you are breastfeeding as well and aren’t getting the right nutrients.

This wins the stupid post prize . If you are a vegan your baby will die, die I tell you! FFS.

Sitdownstandup · 17/03/2019 08:59

You don't need to eat meat to be healthy. Pregnancy is a time when there are many more demands on your body than usual, and when even women who consume the most iron rich foods such as red meat are more prone to anaemia than when not pregnant, for obvious reasons. Happened to me. But I'd say this is a reason to more carefully monitor your levels, and eat as much iron rich vegan food as possible. You can always supplement if needed.

On practical grounds I also don't think the first trimester of pregnancy is a brilliant time to be eating something that you find abhorrent, because you're probably going to be feeling sick enough anyway. I mean, could you actually make yourself eat meat at this point? When the nausea hit, I couldn't have kept certain things down even if they'd been essential.

And as the thread seems to have started a sub-discussion, yes you are also being controlling insisting on animal products being in a separate fridge.

Halloumimuffin · 17/03/2019 09:00

You physically won't have the right microbes in your gut to allow you to eat meat. If you do it will make you ill.

Rollercoasteryears · 17/03/2019 09:00

CostanzaG

No veganism isn't a religion but it's a deeply held view which is important to the OP. I don't see why it's not exactly the same in principle - if anything, I would say having a moral/ethical basis for dietary choices is likely to be more deeply held than something followed for religious reasons because your religious book tells you to do it that way.

Winifredgoose · 17/03/2019 09:01

Could it be that someone(mil??), has been worrying him by suggesting ill effects on baby/you. Just a guess.

FamilyOfAliens · 17/03/2019 09:02

Constanza, sorry, when you posted that you “don’t want him to go through the same” it seemed as if you think a vegetarian diet is limiting and could lead to him developing an eating disorder. Sorry if that’s not what you meant.

slipperywhensparticus · 17/03/2019 09:02

Its hard to process iron from meat

FamilyOfAliens · 17/03/2019 09:03

Doesn't make it any better

In your opinion. But it does make it completely different from what you posted.

BasinHaircut · 17/03/2019 09:03

My understanding is that this can all be put to bed with a simple blood test that will tell you whether you have any deficiencies or not, which will enable you to take any appropriate action that might be needed.

Speak to your doctor/midwife.

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