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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Netflix Madeleine McCann

999 replies

mumineedawee · 16/03/2019 17:57

AIBU to think that any coverage of her disappearance is a good thing. I watched two episodes of the Netflix programme and think that if it were to bring her back into the spotlight, then surely it’s worthwhile? I’m on my own in that opinion here in our house.

OP posts:
sagradafamiliar · 17/03/2019 08:46

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IceRebel · 17/03/2019 08:47

HerRoyalFattyness (great name) explained it better than me.

RandomlyChosenName · 17/03/2019 08:48

Maybe abduction was KM first thought because she had worried about leaving the children before, but had been persuaded to by the general group? Maybe this is why she doesn’t say she was wrong to leave them, because then she would be blaming her friends? Who knows.

As for what they behaved liked afterwards, unless you knew how they behaved before you don’t know if it was odd.

acciocat · 17/03/2019 08:49

makemineapinacolada - agree.

The issue isn’t about whether they like their children or not, or the rights and wrongs of putting them in children’s club all day. It’s the fact that right from the get go there was an arrogance, a determination that they were going to set the agenda on how the situation was to be portrayed. They have been unwavering that she was abducted from her bed.

My understanding is that abduction from the apartment although one theory, is exactly that- just one theory out of various possibilities, and in fact less plausible than other scenarios such as wandering off. It’s possible that abduction or accident could happen after she’d wandered outside- but the parents will only countenance the one theory that she was taken from her bed.

My personal belief (FWIW, which is actually no more or less than anyone else because none of us here know!) is that the parents didn’t cause her any harm. That’s just a gut feeling though. But it’s very clear that they manipulated the media from the outset and were also keen to avoid probing such as a reconstruction which could have conflicted with their time line of events. Someone else said upthread something along the lines of ‘if you were asked what time you went into Tesco yesterday?’ you might say ‘10 am’ when in fact it might have been 9.50 or 10.10. It’s just not plausible that everyone in a large group of people could be 100% accurate of all their timings... what time they sat down, started eating, perhaps got up for the toilet etc A reconstruction of events helps to verify timings because it’s triangulating lots of people and places.

Anyway, I’m amazed this thread is still going- no doubt it’ll disappear in a puff of smoke soon!

Jellyonawonkyplate · 17/03/2019 08:50

Watched the first two eps last night. I've always just felt desperately sorry for the parents and think that the idea they harmed her is absolutely ridiculous.
However, what I absolutely couldn't get over was the fact that their apartment was basically on a road! Hadn't seen it before. It was so exposed, how could they possibly felt 100% secure leaving the room unlocked?!

I thought it interesting when they covered Robert Murat that the journalist said something like even though someone's released doesn't mean they haven't done anything, just no evidence. Or something like that.

Still just a lot of unanswered question s and sadly I think that will remain the case.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 17/03/2019 08:50

I think it depends on your personality to whether you’d first think they’d wandered off or been taken.

I am a worst case scenario type of person and in that situation would have jumped to abduction conclusion.

caroline161 · 17/03/2019 08:51

I think it's because they know that she would not have wandered off. When you know your children you know how they would react in situations. They always felt she had been abducted. And the police have told lies and lies and more lies just to pin it on them so they got an answer even of it wasn't the right one that didn't seem to matter. As Robert Murat will also testify.

sagradafamiliar · 17/03/2019 08:52

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user1457017537 · 17/03/2019 08:53

What I found difficult was the fact that the twins still attended the kids club after MM went missing. If you thought someone was abducting children and had taken one of yours, why would you do this.

Decormad38 · 17/03/2019 08:54

I think this discussion about the McCanns leaving their kids is boring now. It’s all been said a million times. The fact is they will no doubt regret that moment until the day they pass away. Who wouldn’t? Who is so bloody perfect on here that you never make any mistakes?

IceRebel · 17/03/2019 08:54

When you know your children you know how they would react in situations.

I don't see how they could have known she wouldn't wander off. I'm sure many of us know our children very well indeed, but they still surprise us in new and unusual situations. You can never say you know something for certain when it comes to a 4 year old, (or any age really) as they are unpredictable.

RandomlyChosenName · 17/03/2019 08:55

As for other parents not getting the flaming, you are wrong. When April Jones disappeared, there were thread after thread on here saying “why was a 5 year old allowed to play out at that time of night on her own”. “I would never let my 5 year old play out on her own” etc. The threads only stopped because her killer was identified (and they were also deleted by MN for not being in the spirit of the site).

However, blame threads will always exist when things happen to children- it’s because it’s a natural instinct as a parent to think “could this happen to my child?”, or “it wouldn’t happen to my child because...” It’s a learning experience to keep your child safe.

HerRoyalFattyness · 17/03/2019 08:56

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tinstar · 17/03/2019 08:57

When we lost 3year old DS on a crowded beach it was not long after Sarah Payne's abduction had been in the news. Once we realised he really wasn't close by, my first thought was that he'd been abducted. Whilst DH headed down the beach (and found him with a group of kids he'd started talking to) I was heading for the car park, all set to position myself in front of the exit to stop anyone leaving.

The logical and correct answer was that he was on the beach and had wandered off. My first thought however was abduction.

Clarl · 17/03/2019 08:59

The bit I found so terrifying from the documentary was the pictures of the children on the dark web. Absolutely beyond horrendous.
Me too. I keep thinking about the missing boy who was identified in the images. I think people bury their heads in the sand over this idea and point their fingers at the McCanns instead.

IceRebel · 17/03/2019 09:00

it was not long after Sarah Payne's abduction

In those circumstances it would make sense to think abduction, as a recent case was still fresh in your mind. However, I don't believe there had been any recent abductions in the lead up to her disappearance, so it does seem unusual to jump to that conclusion.

HerRoyalFattyness · 17/03/2019 09:00

Once we realised he really wasn't close by, my first thought was that he'd been abducted

So your first thought was that he had wandered a bit too far. Your mind only went to abduction once you realised he wasn't close by.

Flowers I'm glad he was safe. It must have been very scary for you.

UnspiritualHome · 17/03/2019 09:01

NameChanger22, taking children into care isn't done as a punishment. Self-evidently the younger children weren't taken into care because the social workers, who knew more about the situation than you do, didn't think they were in danger. Subsequent events suggest they were right, don't they?

Boulshired · 17/03/2019 09:01

I have stayed at the resort 6 times, twice pre Madeleine. Whilst I might have jumped to a conclusion I wouldn’t of ruled out wandering off. It is a popular resort in a quite spot and by this time of night many people are where they intended to be rather than walking the streets. There are a few ways to the beach and she was not afraid of the water. The documentary and other coverage still doesn’t really show how open the resort is.

UnspiritualHome · 17/03/2019 09:02

I don’t understand why people, 12 years on, need still to say that they would never leave their child. Who cares if you wouldn’t? Does it make you feel superior somehow? Give you a little warm feeling inside?

^

This!

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 17/03/2019 09:08

Those of you who think it was odd that Kate’s first thought was abduction, why do you think she said that? What are you insinuating here?

IceRebel · 17/03/2019 09:10

What are you insinuating here?

Does a person need to be insinuating anything, to think something is odd? I'm certainly not trying to place blame or suspicion. I just think considering all the previous information painted the resort as safe and friendly, the idea she had wandered off seemed more likely as a first thought.

HerRoyalFattyness · 17/03/2019 09:12

Exactly what IceRebel said.

We don't have to be pointing fingers to agree that something is a bit off.

acciocat · 17/03/2019 09:12

I think the finger pointing at the parents is not simply about the fact they left the children alone. Because that’s been done to death now, it happened, no one can change that fact.

I think it’s more about the continuing fact that this case is treated so differently to others. The injunctions. The media manipulation. The endless pouring of public funds into the investigation. The absolute unwavering insistence by the parents that the child was abducted from her bed and the refusal to countenance any other possible scenario. The fact that threads like this always disappear in a puff of smoke.

Yes the parents made a really bad judgement in the first place. But what’s done is done. It’s all their subsequent behaviour that sits uneasily with many people.

And to clarify again: I don’t mean by this that I think they caused her harm. Personally I find that hard to believe, because I think their shock, grief and the fact they’ve continued this high profile campaign to find the child for so many years are genuine. But I do think that from the get go there were things about their behaviour, the timeline of events etc which they absolutely didn’t want in the public domain. There was definitely an attempt from the outset to limit damage to their reputations and to try to control the focus on the events and that’s what sits very uncomfortably with me.

caughtinanet · 17/03/2019 09:14

I realise it's not your post unspiritualhome but I was going to say exactly the same thing.

It's been nearly 12 years and one of the most discussed things on the internet, there must have been billions of words written and yet people still take the time to post the they wouldn't have left their children, that a working class couple would have had their children take from them, that they wouldn't have run into the street leaving the twins behind etc. WHY? I just don't get it.