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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu about this money?

148 replies

Tearsandfears · 16/03/2019 11:58

Im going on a short break with friends later this year. I arranged it with their agreement, and booked and paid the deposit.

That was 2 months ago. I sent all the info through and asked them to reimburse me but I've had no offers of payment since then. I sent an email this week as a reminder, heard nothing so then text them to advise of email. Get reply from friend 1 saying she will give me cash when she sees me (this might not be until the holiday) because she cant do a bank transfer or get the mpney to me any other way! Nothing from other friend yet.

I am currently £400 out of pocket. I'm not going to starve but it is pretty annoying- aibu to feel like that?

OP posts:
Original poster
Tearsandfears · 16/03/2019 12:27

I find the lack of response insulting and the lack of any kind of capabillty to do anything other than give me it in cash infuriating.

OP posts:
Princessmushroom · 16/03/2019 12:28

Ugh I hate this. My husband bought concert tickets in OCTOBER for a concert in May and hasn’t been paid back by his friends yet. They’re planning on paying him on the day.

In the future I will definitely set payment terms if I do something like this. And not book it until I have everyone’s deposit.

Sorry you’re in this situation

Drum2018 · 16/03/2019 12:29

There is no reason they cannot go to a branch of your bank with your bank details and lodge cash there.

coffeeismyspinach · 16/03/2019 12:30

Your mistake was paying the balance. Can you sell the holiday? If you can, then I would and tell them it's cancelled. They won't pay you. They'll have excuses. I'd cut your losses. Don't even do this again!

Gizlotsmum · 16/03/2019 12:30

OK. So can you arrange to collect the money from her?

lisasimpsonssaxophone · 16/03/2019 12:30

They can at least get the cash, go to the local branch of your bank with your account number and sort code and pay the money into your account.

Yes this is what I was going to suggest. I have a friend who often pays me back for stuff like this. Assuming you bank with a high street bank, she can just walk into any branch of your bank and pay in the cash there.

thenightsky · 16/03/2019 12:31

I've got a very basic bank account, but if I want to transfer money I just go into a branch and they do it for me.

ChoudeBruxelles · 16/03/2019 12:32

Give them your account number and sort code and them them to go into a branch and pay you!

endofthelinefinally · 16/03/2019 12:32

Presumably these people pay their other bills?
It is massively taking advantage to leave a friend £400 out of pocket and not even make any effort to pay them what you owe.
I think that would be the end of the friendship for me.

Fabaunt · 16/03/2019 12:32

I would send another message saying you need the cash by X date and if it’s not received you will have to cancel the holiday

Original poster
Tearsandfears · 16/03/2019 12:32

I think part of the issue with friend 1 is she cant get to a bank when its open. She cant/ wont make phone calls on her mobile due to cost (payg) and has limited internet. So i think the only way she could do it is by going into a branch but can't.

I dont know about friend 2 but she is also fairly tech averse so unless she can get into a branch it will probably be the same story.

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 16/03/2019 12:33

My dp does transfers by phone

WeMarchOn · 16/03/2019 12:35

If friend 1 lives in such tight conditions I don't see how she will have the money to pay you back?

bullyingadvice2017 · 16/03/2019 12:35

So she would rather owe you all that money than call the bank and do a payment over the phone. That would take her 5 mins and cost pence or maybe 1£ at a push. Says all you need to know.
I'd have wanted the money up front. They could post it if it's that impossible (it's not)

BollocksToBrexit · 16/03/2019 12:35

Money by x date or you cancel. How they get it to you is their problem not yours.

Mememeplease · 16/03/2019 12:36

Well if she wants to keep the holiday she'll have to make a special effort to get to a bank then. If she's unwilling to do this then cancel or go with other friends.
Hopefully it's in the UK and isn't name dependent?

bullyingadvice2017 · 16/03/2019 12:36

Ring them! Not a email or message they can ignore or make a excuse to. Call them now one by one and tell them your skint and need the cash ASAP.

Original poster
Tearsandfears · 16/03/2019 12:37

Friend 1 pays everything by cash I think, phone is payg and she has a card for gas/ elec. Her landlord collects rent in cash as she can't arrange a direct debit to him. Friend 2 leaves all bills tp her DH but he doesnt use computers so probably pays everything by cheque.

I've sent my bank details...friend 1 replied saying she cant do any modern stuff Hmm and will give it me in cash.

OP posts:
JaniceBattersby · 16/03/2019 12:37

They can call their bank and do a quick bank transfer if they cphave your account details. It’s the least they can bloody do. Honestly. Some people.

SoupDragon · 16/03/2019 12:38

I think this is all "won't" rather than "can't"

countrygirl99 · 16/03/2019 12:38

If they can't get to a branch they can do the transfer by telephone banking. Or they can get cash from an ATM and arrange to meet you. Where there's a will there's a way, where there's no will there's an excuse.

DonPablo · 16/03/2019 12:38

Eeek. I don't think you're gonna see that money.

If they're that broke (they won't spend a quid on calling their bank to do a transfer!) how will they afford the cash?

costacoffeecup · 16/03/2019 12:38

Friend 1 can't afford to go on holiday by the sound of it!

ny20005 · 16/03/2019 12:39

Basic bank accounts still have debit cards & can do online & telephone banking transactions.

Tell her you'll expect a cheque or cash directly into your account (over counter at bank) by the end of the week or you'll find someone else

Original poster
Tearsandfears · 16/03/2019 12:42

Holiday not in uk unfortunately so i dont think any of it is transferable. If it is I can take my DP and DC.

They knew and agreed the cost before I booked it so can definitely afford it. That said I have a fair bit more money than them (I'm not rolling in it but comfortable although I've worked hard for it for a long time) so maybe they think it doesnt matter if they delay paying me back.

OP posts: