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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu with shop assistants comment 'wrecking the place'

614 replies

Harmonyrays · 16/03/2019 10:59

Browsing in a large charity shop wuth a toddler pottering about. In the childs section, i was looking at books while she was looking at toys getting things out admittedlt leaving 3 or 4 on the floor. I was just turning aeound to pick them hp when an assistant came over and said 'could you please not let your child wreck the place'.

Thoughts please as im annoyed at the comment as shes a very yound child who was doing what kids do, i was close by ready to put things away and was going to help the charity by buying several items.

OP posts:
killpop · 16/03/2019 11:43

So daughter is 1, doesnt really understand the etiquette of good behaviour in shops.

Guess who's job it is?

Madein1995 · 16/03/2019 11:43

Seriously, 1?! How far away were you from your daughter? Children can run away very quickly - I worked in a nursery and know. 1year olds have no sense of dsnger, of right or wrong, they can sprint away in a moment's notice, they can get lost, etc.

Seriously I expected your child to be 3ish from your post. At 1 the child should be in a pushchair, in your arms or holding your hand. You shouldn't need to turn around to pick up the toys. They should either be in your sight or somewhere like a buggy, where you know they are safe.

Nomorepies · 16/03/2019 11:44

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request.

Original poster
Harmonyrays · 16/03/2019 11:44

Quite bumblebee! Cant believ some of the responces. I was directly next to her whilst she was looking at the toys, it qas literally a few seconds of her putting two hands in the box and pulling out toys and diving back in for another when the assistant appeared and made the comment.

Also not PFB Grin

OP posts:
cushioncuddle · 16/03/2019 11:44

I think the shop assistant could have worded what she said better.

I also think that a 1 yr old shouldn't have been free to wander about.

The shop didn't have a play area so like other shops it wasn't set up for children to play with the stock.

Wearywithteens · 16/03/2019 11:46

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Harebel · 16/03/2019 11:46

Nothing to do with the fact the toys have been used already as it's a charity shop, most things are second hand. But they're still FOR SALE to make money for the charity.

YABU. FGS it's YOUR responsibility to teach your child not to pick things up in shops unless you're going to pay for them. You even have to ask this? Stop taking umbrage at the shop assistant, you were in the wrong.

Original poster
Harmonyrays · 16/03/2019 11:47

[Keepforgettingmyusername] 😂 someone who understands my pain

OP posts:
Pinkbells · 16/03/2019 11:48

'3 or 4 things on the floor' could trip someone up and cause a lot of damage to an elderly person, but I agree they could have put it nicer/better!

FemalePersonator · 16/03/2019 11:48

Adding my voice to YABU. It's a shop; not a play area. Shop assistants are not there to pick up after your child.

BrylcreamBeret · 16/03/2019 11:49

I honestly don't know if everyone here is tense with all the brexit shit but the judging is astounding.
Op there are a few of us on here who have either volunteered or worked for charity shops and kids playing with the toys (that we deliberately display on bottom shelves Wink ) is normal and fine. I'm sure the store assistant was just having a bad day or otherwise is a raging arsehole. You and your child have done nothing wrong.

Readysteadygoat · 16/03/2019 11:50

madein1995 the OP is the mother of a 1 year old, I'm sure she's fully aware how quickly her child can run. Especially as she's had more than one child. She has even said she was within arms reach

Madein1995 · 16/03/2019 11:50

I saw a fab sign in my local independent coffee shop! Not related to op perhaps but definitely at people who leave their children wander/run about/while they get changed etc (recognise them from my retail days)

"Any child left unattended will be fed bags of haribo and promised a puppy" 😂

Takethebuscuitandthesink · 16/03/2019 11:50

YABU learn to control your child or only take her to appropriate environments. I agree not a perfect phrase but it is more than likely she is sick to the back teeth of having to clean up after other people’s children and you were just on the receiving end of that.

Lovemusic33 · 16/03/2019 11:50

I always see children playing with toys in shops, most shops lay them out so kids can touc them, charity shops and other shops such as ELC. If I’m going to buy something I like to pick it up and touch it (try it on if it’s clothes) so why is it so wrong for a child to pick up a toy and test it out? I don’t let my kids make a mess or wreck the joint but if they are looking at toys it’s ok to pick them up if we are looking at buying something.

bobstersmum · 16/03/2019 11:51

I've got 3 dc. Age 1, 5,+6. None of them in a buggy. They know not to drag stuff off the shelves. Yabu.

thebeesknees123 · 16/03/2019 11:52

Yanbu. You were right next to her, she wasn't wrecking the shop, she was playing and you were going.to clear up anyway and she didn't give you a chance to say so

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 16/03/2019 11:53

Three or four items on the floor means she had already cut you quite a lot of slack. Also those items are for sale, not for play. The charity needs them to be in a clean saleable condition.

I think she was telling you off, and deservedly so.

Your best plan is to learn from the experience and not get upset about it. We all make mistakes.

Spikeyball · 16/03/2019 11:53

As others have said it is a shop not a play area and you sound like you were treating it with less respect because it was a charity shop. 1 year olds are too young to potter about in shops. At that age you should be getting the things off the shelves yourself and then asking her to choose.

Foslady · 16/03/2019 11:54

If you wouldn’t let your child do this in Hamleys or Selfridges you shouldn’t allow it in a charity shop either.

VeraWangTwang · 16/03/2019 11:54

It's your job to parent your child
The minute they left one thing on the floor you should have picked it up

JustOneShadeOfGrey · 16/03/2019 11:54

I don’t understand the harsh critics here! It’s a charity shop not a designer store window display!

OP’s child was not “wrecking the place”, she was sampling the toys! And OP clearly said she was picking them up. Jeez.

Children will not learn to play, explore, discover if they’re tethered to their parents and tidiness is priority over everything. At least she wasn’t strapped into a buggy with a tablet to babysit her.

The shop assistant was BU. Totally wrong thing to say.

Serialweightwatcher · 16/03/2019 11:57

I don't think you did anything terrible - if you had walked away and left them lying round then fine, but still it was rude of the woman - don't think a toddler playing with a couple of toys whilst mum looks around is so terrible and the assistant was a bit pathetic and rude - you don't want to always have to strap them down ffs - people are so bloody intolerant at times

GirlfriendInAKorma · 16/03/2019 11:59

She sounds rude.
There are a lot of charity shops near my house and one has a very grumpy woman in it who is rude to people, particularly those with kids.
I don't go in it.
Might be harsh as I guess I'm discriminating against the whole charity, but I don't want to volunteer to have to talk to her.

Spikeyball · 16/03/2019 12:00

"Children will not learn to play, explore, discover if they’re tethered to their parents and tidiness is priority over everything."

A shop isn't the place to play and explore.