Aibu with shop assistants comment 'wrecking the place'

[Harmonyrays]

Browsing in a large charity shop wuth a toddler pottering about. In the childs section, i was looking at books while she was looking at toys getting things out admittedlt leaving 3 or 4 on the floor. I was just turning aeound to pick them hp when an assistant came over and said 'could you please not let your child wreck the place'.

Thoughts please as im annoyed at the comment as shes a very yound child who was doing what kids do, i was close by ready to put things away and was going to help the charity by buying several items.

She’s going to have a tough job selling those toys if she’s down the throat of every parent who walks in.

You’d have been unreasonable to not tidy up but as you were planning it I don’t see the problem. “Wreck the place” was a bit extreme too.

Your daughter is 1 and you left her pulling toys off shelves while you looked at books?? Of course she's too young to understand the etiquette of shops, but you aren't!!

She wasn't to know you'd pick them up. She probably thought your child would pull out even more. I'd have put back each one she picked up at the time. I doubt she'd have said anything then

If it had not been a charity shop would you have allowed dc to behave same. The assistant may well be a volunteer and while it does not excuse her abruptness may explain that it would be a nuisance to sort out.

A 1 year old should have been in a buggy or holding your hand, not pottering about. What if your DC had pulled a glass vase on their head instead of a toy on the floor.

I fail to see how you can consider this anything but unreasonable on your part.

No business letting a teddy for sale being in the flpot.

She was rude and OTT and could have asked more nicely but in the end , you seem to think it is OK to let your toddler do this.

As she is only 1, you should have been supervising even closer! That is no excuse to have let her just get on with doing it.

So daughter is 1, doesnt really understand the etiquette of good behaviour in shops. Then teach her or keep her in her pushchair.

Why are you trying to shop with a one year old "loose"?

Just put her in a stroller like everyone else.

I volunteer in a charity shop and our manager has had to remind parents that we are not a creche.
I had a customer complain about me when her kids were 'wrecking' the shop. Whizzing around the shop on a skateboard, taking stuff off the counter, toys all over the floor... I hadn't said a word to her either - just warned a customer with a walking stick to be careful.
The manager apologised on my behalf!

YABU on so many levels, firstly, letting your child get out several toys to look at, secondly by cutting off your nose to spite your face by not buying stuff, and thirdly by conflating a volunteer in a charity shop with a shop assistant. Shop assistants are supposed to be professional, volunteers aren't. You were rude to treat the place like that.

Poorly phrased but you shouldn't allow your child to do that in any shop.

Teach your child to understand "No!"

Your daughter might not understand etiquette in shops but you should. She's too young to be tidy so you need to supervise her properly.

I also think it's unreasonable to expect the same level of customer service from a paid shop assistant than a charity shop volunteer.

I volunteer in a charity shop in my free time

Organising the shelves takes a lot of effort and time

For all you know that assistant had literally just finished organising that area before you came in

Stock is precious too, a man with severe LD broke a shelf once when his carer left him unattended, we didn't charge him obviously, but he smashed goods of value that could have benefitted the charity.

We have also had thefts, multiple, from a charity shop!

She was asking you to show some courtesy and manners that's all.

1 year old should be in a pushchair or your arms or holding your hand in a shop.

e. I agree its not a playground but in charity shops the toys are all opened and 'ready' to play with hence it makes it more diffic

So how do you stop her diving into traffic, for example?

If you genuinely have no control, then she's not safe in your care.

She should be more polite. You should be more careful. Otherwise, no big deal.

Your child shouldn’t be touching anything in the shop. If you can’t stop them putting goods on the floor then strap them in a buggy or shop online.

I know children sometimes touch things they shouldn't but this wasn't your child taking one thing and you putting it back. She took 3 or 4 things off the shelf and left them on the floor before you did anything about it.
When she took the first thing you should have said sorry that's not to play with and put it back. The toys are to play with after you've bought them not before.

'Wreck the place' is very over dramatic. She could have worded it much better.

Can't believe some of the comments directed at op though tbh. Mumsnet is frightening sometimes

Exactly, Deesperate - these are not new toys and been played with. As far as a child has clean hands and the parent then puts the few toys back on shelves, I can't see why is this BU.
If it's more than a few toys and a child is proceeding to clear the shelves by dropping things down -that's different. Also depends if they play quietly or it's a tantrum and they throw toys - completely unacceptable then, but OP's dd was quietly trying them out. How do you know even if you should buy a toy without letting a child handle it - to see if they like them!

sometimes people just can’t wait to have a go because other people have done whatever the annoying behaviour is (leaving toys out, breaking toys, leaving child unsupervised - insert as applicable) at some time in the past. Consequently they over react when they see someone do something slightly like that, or who they think might do that and say something too early and too strongly. Seems to me like this is what happened here.

A 1 year old should have been in a buggy or holding your hand, not pottering about. '

Have you ever met a 1 year old 😂 YANBU OP the shop worker was a CF.

I think there is less respect shown by (some) customers in charity shops, as demonstrated by the OP. You wouldn't behave that way in M&S or John Lewis, so you shouldn't do it in a charity shop.