Aibu with shop assistants comment 'wrecking the place'

[Harmonyrays]

Browsing in a large charity shop wuth a toddler pottering about. In the childs section, i was looking at books while she was looking at toys getting things out admittedlt leaving 3 or 4 on the floor. I was just turning aeound to pick them hp when an assistant came over and said 'could you please not let your child wreck the place'.

Thoughts please as im annoyed at the comment as shes a very yound child who was doing what kids do, i was close by ready to put things away and was going to help the charity by buying several items.

[Namechangeforthiscancershit]

And OP clearly said she was picking them up. Jeez

No, she said she was about to. Which the volunteer would not have known, not being a mind reader and all

[Aridane]

I don’t understand the harsh critics here! It’s a charity shop not a designer store window display!

Ah, that’s okay then- it was only a charity shop

[JingsMahBucket]

YABU and now you’re trying to minimize because this thread didn’t go your way. Control your kid more in charity shops. It’s not your living room.

[dreamalittlebiggerdarling]

I used to work in a dvd rental shop. Saturdays would always, without fail, involve at least one child using the shelves as a toy / climbing frame, which would send an entire shelf down onto the floor. I can count on one hand the number of parents who assisted in picking them up or showed their child how to do so. On more than one occasion, the parent said something along the lines of just leaving it for the staff as that was our job.

I’m not saying that’s what you were doing, OP. But that was my benchmark in retail. I probably judged the more considerate parents by the standard of the dreadful ones. But whilst the decent ones are so outnumbered... c’est la vie.

[greenpop21]

1 is a baby and too young to be walking around a shop freely.

[TheFairyCaravan]

YABU. Maybe the woman could've chose her words better but you shouldn't allow your children to drag things out of boxes and leave them on the floor. I'm disabled and it's an extra hazard I don't need, not only that I could have landed up in hospital with a serious injury had I have tripped over it.

The snobbery on here about the toys being second hand so it's ok that they're touched and played with is awful. Some kids would have no toys if it wasn't for charity shops.

[BrokenWing]

So daughter is 1, doesnt really understand the etiquette of good behaviour in shops.

That is why you should try this thing called "parenting".

Even though they are charity shop items, why should the staff accept children putting multiple toys and teddy's on a shop floor where outdoor shoes are walking, while the adult with them lets them get on with it. If your dd is anything like my ds was at that age the teddys would be accidently stood on, sat on, kneeled on etc as they reached for other toys to play with. If every child that come in treated the place like a play group the goods would quickly look less appealing to other customers.

YABU.

[MightyDonut]

It doesn't matter what type of shop it was, it is a shop and not a playground. What manners is the child being taught when allowed to display this type of behaviour? Would you allow your child to pull a friend's ornaments from their display?
Those items could also have been damaged by your child, rendering them unsellable.
Then there is also the risk of being sued if a shopper fell over those toys and injured themselves. Telling a court that, well it was only a few charity shop toys won't really wash, simply because the assistant knew it was happening but did not act to stop it or remove the hazard.
You ABU.

[mrsdavys]

YABU
She’s probably fed up of mothers allowing their kids to grab things and drop them.
If your child had grabbed something made of glass or china and dropped it, then what?
Yes 1 is too young to understand social etiquette but you’re the mother and it's your job to make sure your kid behaves

[dayswithaY]

YABU x 100. I hate this. Not everything is a sensory play experience for your precious child. Teach them to behave respectfully in a shop.

[SileneOliveira]

I'm a charity shop volunteer and people regularly treat the shop as a type of creche. They wouldn't dream of letting their kids pull stock off shelves in a department store and leave it on the floor, but because it#s second hand that's OK?

Very rude customer gave me a right mouthful the other day when I told her that her two pre-schoolers would have to finish their dripping ice creams before coming in the shop.

[Gymbunnygirl]

She could have said excuse me do you mind keeping a closer eye on your DC as she has got a few bits on the floor and don't want them to get dirty.

You could then have said of course I was just about to sort it out (which you were!)

No need for her to be rude about it.
I hate people like that!
I would have let it get to me too.
You can still be polite, even if you've had hundreds of kids and parents doing the same thing and maybe not picking up after them.

Next time just very loudly say " put that back" or whatever, so they know you have noticed and are dealing with it.

Maybe she just thought you hadn't noticed and were leaving her to, in her own words, wreck the place lol.

[ArmchairTraveller]

Maybe that wasn’t the first or fifth time that day the volunteer had had to deal with stuff left on the floor by unsupervised children having fun.
Perhaps she was just weary and a bit terse.

[Marchitectmummy]

YABU as much as you don't want to face that in afraid you are. You should have control of your child at all times. If not for respect of others property then for the safety of that child.

3 or 4 toys out is more than 1 minute of not paying attention, your child could have been I danger of something falling, or someone knocking her or well anything.

Doesn't matter if it's a load of old tat or a 500 item of clothing it's not yours and teaching your child not to is your role.

[IHateUncleJamie]

YABU. How was the shop assistant (probably a volunteer btw) supposed to know you were “about to turn round and pick them up”? A blind/VI/elderly or disabled person could have tripped over the toys.

A charity shop is not ELC or a play area.

[HardofCleaning]

YANBU. Of course it's fine for a toddler to look through toys in a charity shop (as long as she wasn't throwing them about) and as long as you planned to put them away again it's fine. People on AIBU are a pack of sharks. I wouldn't pay much attention to the shop assistant she's probably just a volunteer. I would have smiled and said "don't worry I was about to put them away".

[BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou]

A 1 year old should have been in a buggy or holding your hand, not pottering about. '

Have you ever met a 1 year old 😂 YANBU OP the shop worker was a CF.

I’ve successfully parented two children and at 1 year old they were definitely in a buggy or holding my hand and on reins. They were taught that they “look with your eyes, not your hands”. If they did touch something without permission I would have taken it from them and reminded them of proper behaviour. Not everything is safe for a child to handle and it is the responsibility of the parent / carer to keep their child safe.

The shop volunteer could have been more tactful but she was right and yes OP, YABU!

[SileneOliveira]

Oh and just to clarify - I have no issue with children playing with toys and trying them out. Happens all the time.

But it is an issue when you have a VERY young child like the op's pulling stuff off shelves and dumping it on the floor while the mother is browsing books, oblivious.

[greenpop21]

Yes I have 2 DC one is now adult , the other 15.

[Yura]

YABU - its a store, not a playground! would you let her loose in a toystore to take stuff out of shelfs and potentially damage it? or at a strangers house? No?

[Sockwomble]

The assistant is probably sick of a certain type of parent treating the place like a playground because "It is only a charity shop".

[greenpop21]

They were taught that they “look with your eyes, not your hands”.

My DC remind me of this now so it obviously went in!

[Yura]

(i have 2 young kids - if you can’t control them in a store, go to a playground)

[LadyRochfordsSpangledGusset]

YABU, withdrawing potential spending on a charity in a huff because your lack of parenting was quite rightly highlighted. Even in softplay centres you're expected to keep an eye on your DC. Clue: this wasn't a play centre.

[SileneOliveira]

I wouldn't pay much attention to the shop assistant she's probably just a volunteer

God yeah, those bloody awful people who give up their time for charity. Everyone knows they're the lowest of the low and far inferior to paid staff.