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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu with shop assistants comment 'wrecking the place'

614 replies

Harmonyrays · 16/03/2019 10:59

Browsing in a large charity shop wuth a toddler pottering about. In the childs section, i was looking at books while she was looking at toys getting things out admittedlt leaving 3 or 4 on the floor. I was just turning aeound to pick them hp when an assistant came over and said 'could you please not let your child wreck the place'.

Thoughts please as im annoyed at the comment as shes a very yound child who was doing what kids do, i was close by ready to put things away and was going to help the charity by buying several items.

OP posts:
chickensub · 16/03/2019 12:28

God some of these responses 😂

Mum in a shop with a one year old on the floor next to her. One year old picks up a few teddies, plays on the floor with them.

BUT HOW WILL YOU CONTROL HER IN TRAFFIC OP?

Fuck me what a laugh 😂

PCohle · 16/03/2019 12:28

Why on earth would it ok to ignore the shop assistant because "they were just a volunteer"?

They're "just" someone who is giving up their free time unpaid for a charity, and that entitles the OP to ignore them and act however she wants because she's so much more important than a lowly volunteer?

Christ, some people.

Shazafied · 16/03/2019 12:28

I don’t let me toddler touch things in shops ! Hope that helps.

JustOneShadeOfGrey · 16/03/2019 12:29

“Control your child” is such a ridiculous statement. They not robots, televisions or RC cars.

For all you controllers, here’s a bit of a wake up call. www.nhs.uk/news/pregnancy-and-child/over-controlling-parents-may-be-doing-more-harm-good/#conclusion

I have two “uncontrolled” children and proud of them! They make more mistakes than most children because they DO more than most children. They explore, they learn, they PLAY IN SHOPS!!! But while they’re doing this they’re mindful of their surroundings, the impact they have on other people if they are too loud/messy/create a hazard. They have great manners and will apologise immediately if they do wrong. They have the added burden of having learning difficulties and developmental delays (not because I didn’t control them!!) but it’s no excuse for me to make all their decisions for them.

Chill out MN and slacken the apron strings once in a while.

PS I love charity shops Aridane and you have missed the point.

LadyRochfordsSpangledGusset · 16/03/2019 12:30

I wouldn't pay much attention to the shop assistant she's probably just a volunteer Shock

SoupDragon · 16/03/2019 12:31

But while they’re doing this they’re mindful of their surroundings, the impact they have on other people if they are too loud/messy/create a hazard. They have great manners and will apologise immediately if they do wrong.

So they aren't "uncontrolled" are they?

PCohle · 16/03/2019 12:33

But OP's child did create a hazard and they were too messy, because she was specifically asked to stop by the volunteer.

If you and your kids are genuinely "mindful of their surroundings, the impact they have on other people" then great. But that wasn't the case here.

TheFairyCaravan · 16/03/2019 12:34

I wouldn't pay much attention to the shop assistant she's probably just a volunteer.

How fucking rude!

Sockwomble · 16/03/2019 12:34

Shops aren't a place for playing and exploring. It will cause problems for other people who may have
difficulties of their own to contend with.

thesnapandfartisinfallible · 16/03/2019 12:34

FFS it's a shop not a creche. The toys are there to be bought, not pulled out and left on the floor while ineffectual parents browse in blissful ignorance.

IHateUncleJamie · 16/03/2019 12:35

Oh bugger me, teaching your child to respect other people’s property is now “over controlling”? WTF.

My batshit mother has zero risk aversion; told me I was “mollycoddling” dd at 2 by not letting her run alone towards a cliff edge (dd ended up in hospital on another occasion having hurt herself badly in my mother’s “care”. Caring about your children’s safety and respecting other people’s stuff/things in shops etc is not overcontrolling. It’s called parenting while your children are little. 🙄🙄🙄

lozster · 16/03/2019 12:36

I think the ‘just a volunteer’ comment implied that she wasn’t trained in customer service and how to handle tricky situations, not that she was ‘lowly’. Also that it is harder to hold a volunteer to account than a paid member of staff. I didn’t read a snub in to that

SleepingStandingUp · 16/03/2019 12:37

I wouldn't pay much attention to the shop assistant she's probably just a volunteer
You do realise that those people are keeping this and many other charities afloat for free? That charities could not afford to pay each of their volunteers minimum wage and keep afloat?? And that many volunteers have lots of valuable experience which they bring to charities? But because they chose to do that for free they're obviously beneath you

Nanny0gg · 16/03/2019 12:38

Shops, of whatever variety, are not playgrounds. The stock isn't yours and it isn't for children to play with till it's paid for.

The sales assistant was, however, rude.

SileneOliveira · 16/03/2019 12:39

many volunteers have lots of valuable experience which they bring to charities

Indeed. The people I work with are all well-educated people with oodles of life experience. We have a former chartered accountant (retired), lots of former teachers, a few people who did retail work before having kids and are easing themselves back in with a few hours a week.

We do not need to be sent on a customer service training course - how patronising.

Some of the customers on the other hand....

AguerosAngel · 16/03/2019 12:40

YABU, nothing to add to what has already been said!

JustOneShadeOfGrey · 16/03/2019 12:40

@SoupDragon eh?

DarlingNikita · 16/03/2019 12:41

I think YANBU. She could have been much more polite about it.
And I don't really like children Grin

she's probably just a volunteer. Fuck off, do.

SoupDragon · 16/03/2019 12:41

it is harder to hold a volunteer to account than a paid member of staff.

Why does she need to be held to account?

JustOneShadeOfGrey · 16/03/2019 12:44

I love these threads. Nothing causes so much heat as an innocent toddler playing with a few toys. 😂

FlagranceDirect · 16/03/2019 12:45

DC welcome too play here but please put toys away after!!

Why should they need a sign that says that? Children are not welcome to play on the floor with all the toys. It's not a play corner, it's a shop! The toys are there to sell, not for the kids play around with and leave all over the floor while their parent browses.
It's not a creche. It's a shop!!

SoupDragon · 16/03/2019 12:46

It's a shop. It isn't a play group.

AnyWalls · 16/03/2019 12:56

I find her comment very amusing, though I'd have been mortified!
What did you say back? I'd probably have scuttled out, tail between my legs.
A 1 year old shouldn't be let loose like a bull in a china shop. You really shouldn't have been allowing her to pull the toys out. I'd have said, No - we can't play with these toys as we need to buy them first.
Your 1 year old was doing what would be entirely natural to a 1 year old - wrecking the place! You shouldn't have permitted it.

mydogisthebest · 16/03/2019 12:56

I do think the assistant could have worded it a bit better but your child should not have been playing with toys on the floor. It is not ok in any shop to pull stock onto a floor.