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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Donor consent law is being changed...

895 replies

flirtygirl · 16/03/2019 10:39

Aibu to have expected more information before they changes the law, did they do a consultation? I feel miffed that it is now going to be deemed consent and you have to opt out.

But what if the system is down or the opt out which is digital and online, did not get stored properly? What about when you move and change address? Do you have to tell every medical practitioner manually as well?

There is no info it seems on what this will mean. If you have info or any helpful links please let me know, thanks

OP posts:

Seniorcitizen1 · 16/03/2019 19:06

coffee I know we would have agreed - we are both commited to organ donation as was he from about the age of 10-12 having watch tv programmes about it. He wanted to be a Dr from about aged 8 so watch lots of medical tv

Longlostperson · 16/03/2019 19:06

My brother was on the organ donation list for a new liver (passed away before he got one )
But I still don’t think this new system is right.

Shortandsweet96 · 16/03/2019 19:06

I'm extremely pro donate. But I also dont understand the whole 'if you dont give you don't get'

So your telling me, if you mother, brother or child didn't want to donate their organs, for whatever reason they wish, and remember, everyone has their own CHOICE. You firmly believe they shouldn't get a chance of life should they need it?!

Biancadelrioisback · 16/03/2019 19:09

I would go to the ends of the earth if it meant saving my child's life. Honestly I don't believe there is a thing I wouldn't do.
So if he needed a transplant I'd do anything to help him get it. So in turn I know I have to donate my organs. I'd be so ashamed of my family if they stopped this happening. Take anything and everything if it helps a parent keep their child, a child keep their parent, or help someone gain a few extra years on this planet.

And while it would be utterly heartbreaking to be in that position, if something happened to my son is hope I will be strong enough to let him help other children.

Owlettele · 16/03/2019 19:09

My mum had a kidney transplant and ultimately this killed her. I could have had another 10-15 years with her on dialysis. She might have met my DD who has this lovely thought that she's in space and she'd be so happy that I an her mummy now. What I'm trying to say is it's a tough one . A very emotive topic and not always s good thing for either side. It needs to be very clear how to opt out. I struggle with this decision and still don't really know where I stand on a personal level.

Original poster

flirtygirl · 16/03/2019 19:10

Coffeeismyspinach sorry for your loss.

OP posts:

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 16/03/2019 19:11

I was disappointed that tissue isn't broken down more on the donor register. While I won't agree to donating skin or bones I would donate heart valves etc but they seem to be lumped together.

This may have been asked before but do those who think someone who chooses not to donate should not receive an organ feel the same about blood donation and transfusion?

SilverySurfer · 16/03/2019 19:11

Thanks for this OP I hadn't heard anything about it. I've carried a donor card since the system began but will tear it up and opt out if this is introduced. At the very least there should have been some sort of consultation, maybe even a referendum. It doesn't mean I won't donate just that it will be my decision conveyed to my next of kin.

Before you ask, no I won't be accepting body parts for myself. I'm disabled, unable to walk without a walking frame in a lot of pain every day, mostly housebound - I'm not interested in prolonging that by having an organ transplant.

coffeeismyspinach · 16/03/2019 19:13

And again, if it were due to someone opting out, I'd never have known. But I am still of the belief that bodily autonomy should be paramount, sacrosanct and universal in all ways and (barring emergencies during which the person might well not be compos mentis) - reproductive (safe and legal abortion, as early as possible, as late as necessary), right to end life (as a person of sound mind sees fit, there was a lot of ruckus over a man who had been rendered quadriplegic a few years ago choosing to end his life as he did not wish to live as so), right to forgo or end treatment (being of sound mind and if not, I strongly agree with advanced directives such as living wills becoming recognised and encoded in law), right to receive medical treatment and right to donate, or not, any part of one's body.

Shortandsweet96 · 16/03/2019 19:14

@silverysurfer

That sound a lot like cutting your nose off to spite you face.

Your already an organ donor, but choice. So why would this new change affect you to the point of you tearing up your card and opting out? How selfish and unbelievably childish. Like a toddler having a mid-supermarket tantrum. Idiot.

Walkingdeadfangirl · 16/03/2019 19:14

This is a great move and a long time coming.

If anyone cares about what happens to their body after they die then it takes 60 seconds to google it. If you dont care enough to find out then you should have no right to complain.

And anyone opting out should go to the bottom of the donor list.

coffeeismyspinach · 16/03/2019 19:15

Senior, I am just very glad you were never in that position.

TiredSloth · 16/03/2019 19:17

coffeeismyspinach I am truly sorry for your loss. It is a really emotive subject and I struggle to put my own emotions to one side.

What I really really can’t understand is the people who are opting out to stop the ‘state’ getting their organs. It is dying people who won’t get the organs, not the government.

Original poster

flirtygirl · 16/03/2019 19:20

To those who have been stunned that I would not donate for my own children.

My beliefs are shared by them and alot of my family support this. We would be going against our beliefs to do so. I have had an ill child in hospital but not to the point of death.

However I believe that life as we know it now is finite and I often think that we are pissing in the wind with medical procedures to prolong life at all costs and not giving a thought to the quality of life.

However these are my beliefs along with not accepting another organs or blood, as I would not want to live after doing so. I could not live with myself as I believe, I would not be the same again.

This is my answer to those who thought I should not get an organ if I don't give one. Thank goodness I would not get an organ if that was the rule, as to me that is a fate worse than death.

I have extreme (to some) views. However I respect others right to choose for themselves and for their under 18s and I should be accorded the right to choose my way for myself and those under 18 in my care.

OP posts:

BoneyBackJefferson · 16/03/2019 19:21

I have said this before and got shot down for it but I would like to know a lot more about the safe guards around this and how they will prevent abuse of the system.

Original poster

flirtygirl · 16/03/2019 19:21

I am obviously opting out, I just hope that mistakes do not get made by the drs and nurses and by the state.

OP posts:

Original poster

flirtygirl · 16/03/2019 19:24

I would like to see the guidelines and hope they are published and publicised a long time before April 2020.

OP posts:

TiredSloth · 16/03/2019 19:24

How old are your children flirtygirl?

user1457017537 · 16/03/2019 19:25

A poster in another thread, who I think was a theatre nurse, said that transplant ops are often brutal and the donor needs to be on life support for the organs to be harvested. I would not give consent.

Gronky · 16/03/2019 19:29

transplant ops are often brutal

So are autopsies and embalming (if you're squeamish or easily upset, don't look up what a body goes through to be made presentable).

the donor needs to be on life support for the organs to be harvested

That's to keep the organs alive, brain death has already occurred.

SilverySurfer · 16/03/2019 19:30

Shortandsweet96
@silverysurfer
That sound a lot like cutting your nose off to spite you face.
Your already an organ donor, but choice. So why would this new change affect you to the point of you tearing up your card and opting out? How selfish and unbelievably childish. Like a toddler having a mid-supermarket tantrum. Idiot.

I am simply vehemently against this system.

I thought up some wonderfully apt words to match your insults but decided I would leave them to your imagination, if you have one.

user1457017537 · 16/03/2019 19:30

Will religious beliefs be taken into account with presumed consent. Or will everyone become a donor.

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 16/03/2019 19:30

As someone who feels very strongly about consent due to having been raped, I feel similarly. I doubt I will follow through to the point of opting out but the idea of having things done to my body without my knowledge/explicit consent is still massively triggering to me and the knowledge that I'd be dead doesn't change that. So I don't think it's as black and white as you are trying to make it.

I would much rather a campaign to inform/encourage donation perhaps in the last year of school, that way it starts the conversation between family as well. Dh and I have been together nearly 20 years, we are both on the organ donor register and have been since we were teenagers but we'd never really discussed it before today. I feel that I would rather they looked for consent from you as an individual and then that overruled your next of kin's feelings. I definitely don't think you should be able to say yes I want to donate and be overruled by someone else's grief.

user1457017537 · 16/03/2019 19:33

Gronky I am aware of that. My concern is that a person can still feel pain.

CherryPavlova · 16/03/2019 19:34

The body needs to be kept in homeostasic state to maintain the integrity of the organs. It is no longer ‘the person’ just their shell. One assumes pain receptors cease to function at point of brain death. The retrieval operation is done with dignity and respect always.
Brutally removed organs would not be in a fit state for transplant.
To suggest it’s a somehow sentient being suffering brutality is, at best, incorrect.

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