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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think teachers shouldn't be drinking on trips?

627 replies

Newyeardontcare · 15/03/2019 20:31

Dc just back from trip overseas. Apparently as soon as they were in their rooms the teachers went to the hotel bar. (The kids snuck down to check on them so they could all go into each other's rooms).Were also drinking wine and cocktails at dinner (before walking kids around an overseas city for an hour to their hotel at 11pm)

Is this normal? In charge of 13yr olds?

OP posts:
My3boys9910 · 18/03/2019 18:43

Being too trusting is not a sign of love either...How can you know if anyone has a drinking problem unless you go home with them?...Are YOU serious!!...Ive said my bit.You dont agree.End of.Ive got kids to over protect. Grin

Mississippilessly · 18/03/2019 18:44

I'm not trying to shame you btw. Anxiety is no fun and it must be exhausting thinking like that.

Mississippilessly · 18/03/2019 18:46

I think its safe to assume that a teacher on a trip isnt an alcoholic. That isn't yoo trusting. Its sane
Your thinking is disordered. Please dont let your kids pick up on that.

My3boys9910 · 18/03/2019 18:46

@Boneybackjefferson...i was one of them lol!I know the ropes...my sons only 11 and he has a learning disability...so acts more like a 9 year old...So im not over worrying about that one just yet...But im sure i will in a few years haha...again...i dont want to see naive as im really not...more a case of seeing and doing too much myself not to see the bad in most situations in life.

youknowmedontyou · 18/03/2019 18:48

@My3boys9910 as PP said over protectiveness does not mean you love your kinds more, in fact sometimes hiding your "worries" or "issues" makes you a better parent. You bring children up to give them wings not smother them... I for example hate flying, I never once projected me fear onto my children .... they are confident flyers now. You of course speak about stranger danger but you do not fill them with fear of every adult in their lives.

My3boys9910 · 18/03/2019 18:53

I agree with you @Youknowmedontyou and my children have done residential over nights...Even tho i have irrational fears...They swim in the sea even tho im petrified of it and cant swim...I myself drink alcohol even tho my mum is an alcoholic...i can see how my views come across...which is why i stated the other side of the argument and backed up the good teachers who miss out...My children have never and will never miss out on anything due to my worrys...not wanting a teacher to drink while caring for my child isnt hindering my child...do you see my point?

youknowmedontyou · 18/03/2019 18:57

@My3boys9910 no I don't, the teachers are not on a one to one basis solely in charge...they can't and shouldn't be subjected to 24 hour duty. As long as some of the team are designated sober that's fine. Above that is in my opinion OTT and your issue and not one to impose on another adult. As has been said before I'm sure the teachers aren't off their heads drunk, but as adults allowed to choose to have a glass of wine with their meals.

youknowmedontyou · 18/03/2019 18:59

Or two in the bar etc... assuming everyone is an alcoholic is ludicrous. As the sister of an alcoholic that died from his abuse, I still wouldn't have that level of over protectiveness. Sorry.

My3boys9910 · 18/03/2019 19:00

Im not debating how lomg they should be watching over my child.Or if they should solely 1 to 1 be with my child...At no point in any of my comments have i said that.They are in tents with other kids...and all close together...so teachers can hear any messing around or fighting...I dont agree with alcohol consumption.And neither does the school.So must be an OTT school aswell.

My3boys9910 · 18/03/2019 19:01

I dont assume everyone is an alcoholic lol but would i say...No that teacher is defo not one when i dont know them or their personal life.Absoloutely not.

youknowmedontyou · 18/03/2019 19:02

@My3boys9910 or a school driven by parents demands? A strong head would soon put the school back in charge.

Mississippilessly · 18/03/2019 19:03

By the jokes you are making and the comment about the school it seems you aren't actually recognising why your thinking isnt quite right.

As others have said, if you are worried about alcohol it's the other kids you best police.

youknowmedontyou · 18/03/2019 19:05

I dont assume everyone is an alcoholic lol

Well that's exactly how it's coming across LOL!

dreamyflower · 18/03/2019 19:06

How do you know all the teachers were drinking? One of them might have had a virgin cocktail. I'm a teacher and yes we have a drink when away but normally only 1 or 2 and we have a Rota so not all of us drink. You're taking a 13 year old's word that every member of staff was drinking. I don't believe it.

My3boys9910 · 18/03/2019 19:09

You cant tell me or make me think my thoughts are not right @missisippilessly...And by trying to do so makes your thoughts look disordered.Why is it now about you trying to make my thoughts an issue?And diagnose me with some disorder...its well OTT hun.Its a debate on booze on a trip.Calm it down.lol

youknowmedontyou · 18/03/2019 19:11

@dreamyflower that has justifiably been said loads of times. The levelheaded amongst us agree, others are outraged! 13 year olds left alone on hotel rooms? 13 year old sneaking down to spy on teachers is apparently fine. Others assume you're all functioning alcoholics...

Me I think you do a cracking job and my boys have moved

The war graves

Skiing (lots of times)

Iceland (not the shop!)

Thank you

HeyCarrieAnneWhatsYourGame · 18/03/2019 19:11

At least they aren’t drinking with the kids, like when we were at school 🤷🏼‍♀️

Qwertylass · 18/03/2019 19:13

Bloody hell is this still going on. Teachers are only human.

Mississippilessly · 18/03/2019 19:18

Ok now you're just rude.

It isnt just me saying you're out of kilter. But you crack on. Btw - what a school tells parents and what it does are often 2 very very different things. Just so you know.

youknowmedontyou · 18/03/2019 19:33

Also @My3boys9910 do you think that an alcoholic would tell the truth when asked to confirm a no drinking policy..

Oh yeah if they said they weren't going to drink on a residential then as an alcoholic (who is dependent, lies, hides and cannot control consumption) would just say no I won't drink and stick to it............ I'm surprised that as the daughter of an alcoholic you believe that's a possibility? Really?

LJdorothy · 18/03/2019 19:53

My3boys ...your hypothetical alcoholic teacher would probably not be drinking in the hotel bar in view of others. He/she would be downing the neat vodka stashed in their bag and then sneaking out under some pretence to get more. You must know that.

HopeIsNotAStrategy · 18/03/2019 19:55

Apart from common sense, which seems to have flown out the window in certain quarters, there is a healthy body of legislation e.g. European working hours directive, rules re lorry drivers' working hours etc which recognises that nobody can be on duty 24 hours a day. It's neither healthy nor conducive to good job performance.

Teachers are not superhuman, nor are they candidates putting themselves forward for martyrdom.

Obviously school trips fall outside the normal rules in that teachers on trips are required to be present on the job 24 hours a day, and ready to step up in case of a crisis. The only other example of this that instantly springs to mind is soldiers on active duty, though there must be others. It's an unusual situation.

I know when I used to be an accountant and required to travel, my employers put me up in a nice hotel and paid me a generous daily allowance for my evening meal and any drinks I wanted as well of course as paying my salary and any overtime I did.

Yet somehow some parents on here expect teachers to work unpaid 24 hours a day with no downtime, give up their holidays and leave their families behind, not even receive a daily allowance, suck it up and don't even dream of assuming any personal autonomy as adults, such as deciding whether they'd like have a drink or two whilst other colleagues are on duty.

I honestly despair of this wonderful country sometimes, and the waggy finger brigade who are never happy unless they are telling the rest of us what to do and what to think.

O tempora, o mores!

Mississippilessly · 18/03/2019 20:00

HopeIsNotAStrategy but we are getting a FREE holiday out of it. And we are getting to spend loads of time with our pupils. So really we should be paying for the privilege. We should also sign forms to say what we will and will not do and let parents live with us for a week beforehand to make sure we arent alcoholics. Apparently.

HopeIsNotAStrategy · 18/03/2019 20:03

@Mississippilessly my bad. I am clearly seriously deluded.

😉

HopeIsNotAStrategy · 18/03/2019 20:04

I don't think most teachers can afford enough alcohol to be alcoholics at hotel prices.

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