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Original poster

To think that things were different before 2007?

749 replies

Haarrieett · 15/03/2019 19:03

Just happened to see that the new Madeleine McCann documentary is trending on twitter - I clicked on it and saw that hundreds of people were saying things along the lines of "Who would leave their children alone in a foreign country?"

I was slightly Blush at this because dh and I honestly used to do this all the time. My dc are a few years older than Madeleine - when we went on holiday to resorts in places like Greece and Spain, we would often leave them alone in a hotel room (often with a window/patio door open for fresh air) while we went out for dinner.

Obviously, after Madeleine went missing we never did it again, but I do recall it being pretty common behaviour at least among our friends.

Did anyone else used to do this in the pre-MM era?

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock · 15/03/2019 21:19

In the Canaries in my younger party days, before 2007 the police arrived at the centre, after an unattended child was reported, they brought the mother home, I hope she was charged with neglect at least.

ItsAHardKn0ckLife1 · 15/03/2019 21:19

Nope, absolutely not. Cannot comprehend how anyone can think this is okay tbh.

NewAccount270219 · 15/03/2019 21:21

I was 17 in 2007 and read the headlines in college with a group of friends, it was brand new news to all of us and I read out the basic facts or at least as much as was reported on the first day and even in that little group of teenagers the conversation was immediately "why were they left all alone?"

I was at university and remember having the same conversation - again, no one was like 'but that's normal, my parents used to leave us alone in hotel rooms all the time as children'

blackteasplease · 15/03/2019 21:21

I don't think it was ok just becuase my parents did it btw!

Fatted · 15/03/2019 21:21

I am a child of the 80s. My mum left us outside the corner shop in our prams and left me and my DSIS home alone while she went to pick up my older DB from school.

But even my mother wouldn't leave us alone in a foreign country. And she was the most lax parent I know!

HarrySnotter · 15/03/2019 21:21

I really feel that the only thing they were guilty of was being taken in by the Mark Warner brand. Honestly this is what their holidays were sold on. And they were not far way from the room. Why that company did not come off worse I do not know. Must have had some PR spin behind it.

Why did the company not come off worse? Presumably, because the McCanns did not use the offered babysitting service and choose to leave their children alone in an unlocked apartment. They may have been close by - but not close enough. There can surely be no argument about that.

Pigriver · 15/03/2019 21:22

I was born in the early 80’s and we went on our first holiday to Spain when I was 6. I have clear memories of falling asleep in the bar and my dad carrying me back to the room, putting me to bed and going back to the bar. It was a large holiday village type place so a fair walk.
The thought of this horrifies me now!
I would say it wasn’t uncommon back then. We were the type of kids allowed to play out, parents knew all the neighbours and local kids etc.
Things have gone a bit too far the other way IMO. I’ve been judged for leaving napping ds in the car on the drive with a locked gate, open window and open house windows. Leaving napping ds in the garden in his pushchair (gate locked/door open, within earshot) and leaving napping ds in the car while going to cashpoint. Car and ds in full view at all times - was told off by a stranger for this one.

ivykaty44 · 15/03/2019 21:23

I don’t know anyone that would leave their toddler/ babies in an apartment abroad alone every night while they all went out down the road to dinner.

It wasn’t down the road though - was it, you could see the restaurant from the apartment and visa versa. They weren’t down the road.

And that’s what happens, people put there slant on a situation, but it’s not without bias

yiskasha · 15/03/2019 21:23

Kate and Gerry McCann are negligent parents. If they had been a working class couple, their twins would have been taken off them. It's never normal or right to leave your children (all under the age of 4 I think?) alone in a hotel room in a foreign country whilst you get drunk with your friends. I wish more people would hold them accountable.

FaFoutis · 15/03/2019 21:24

It was fairly common among children I knew in the 70s. My dh's parents left him alone in hotel rooms all through his childhood, and he was left in a car every Saturday night outside a pub. My mother left my sister and I alone frequently after she met her husband, and when I was out she didn't know where I was - from about age 6.

A pp made the point that this is neglect rather than freedom, I agree.

Never left mine and would not have. Don't know anyone who would have done it in 2007.

NewAccount270219 · 15/03/2019 21:24

Surely the very fact that Mark Warner had a well-advertised babysitting service shows that certainly not everyone at their resorts was doing this?

Also, 10 minutes down the road is a long way! That's probably half a mile!

Tiredmum100 · 15/03/2019 21:24

I was born in the early 80s, my parents never left me or my sister alone in hotel rooms. We would go out with them or if tired Who ever was tired would go to bed and it was drinks, nuts and cards on the balcony for everyone else.

Tinyteatime · 15/03/2019 21:25

I’ve left my dc asleep in a hotel room whilst we were two floors below having dinner. We went regularly to check on them. I think that’s as far as I would be comfortable with. I think we’re pretty relaxed compared to many, but a completely separate apartment seems wrong, although I’m sure the risk of a hotel room is probably similar.

XiCi · 15/03/2019 21:25

I don't know anyone that ever left their kids. When the story broke, and still now, the discussions are always based around everyone saying who the fuck would leave their children alone in the room. They were neglectful and paid the highest price for it. Im not sure I believe what the OP is saying. Leaving toddlers in the room with patios open and going out. Going to restaurants 10 mins away and leaving a 5 and 7 year old. Fucking hell that's disgusting. Being a parent means you put the welfare of your children first, ahead of going for a night out ffs. Just imagining leaving my 5 year old now and going to the pub 10 minutes away. Absolute madness.

Disfordarkchocolate · 15/03/2019 21:26

I never did this, it would never have even crossed my mind that this was safe. Meals were with children if we are out or self-catering. I loved spending more time with them on holiday not less. I think she wandered off.

brighton2016 · 15/03/2019 21:26

No, never had and never would. Not at home and especially not on holiday. Don't know and family or friends that would

imnottoofussed · 15/03/2019 21:29

I don't know anyone who has ever left their kids. I had dd in 2001 and I've never left her. When me and my brothers went abroad as kids in 1986 and 1990 we were never left on our own. It's a family holiday so the kids should be with you. Maybe it's a class thing?

ivykaty44 · 15/03/2019 21:30

Thing is plenty of people left there children in hotel rooms and went to the restaurant for dinner, it happened. A listenung service wasn’t any different from what the MM parents were doing.

I doubt anyone uses a listening service now - but back in 2007 it was a regular hotel service in many hotels used by many many parents

Oldbutstillgotit · 15/03/2019 21:30

I had my DC in the 1980s and never left them on their own in hotels or apartments and I am pretty sure none of my friends did .
We ate slightly later then DH and I sat on the balcony with a bottle of wine while DC slept .
I was totally shocked by the MM case and the reaction by some people that it was the same as being in the garden while DC slept . No it wasn’t!

Bamboo15 · 15/03/2019 21:34

I actually find it staggering that this ever happened and that anyone would think it was ok, but I e only been a parent post mm. honestly don’t think I would have done it even without the mm disaperance.

ivykaty44 · 15/03/2019 21:34

by some people that it was the same as being in the garden while DC slept . No it wasn’t!+

Why is it different? The distance isn’t any different to many just decent size gardens.

coffeeismyspinach · 15/03/2019 21:35

A listenung service wasn’t any different from what the MM parents were doing.

Isn't the key in the name? NO ONE was 'listening' to those kids, and they were left in unlocked apartments with a pool in between them and their parents. Not at all even self-contained like a hotel building even.

Oldbutstillgotit · 15/03/2019 21:35

@ivykaty44, I know someone who was in the same hotel at the time MM went missing . She said that you could not see the apartment from the tapas bar and it was so noisy , no one would hear a child crying .

FaFoutis · 15/03/2019 21:35

An apartment complex is a public place, house and garden is not.

ivykaty44 · 15/03/2019 21:36

Oldbutstillfotit I’ve stood at the restaurant and can see the apartment