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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think that things were different before 2007?

749 replies

Haarrieett · 15/03/2019 19:03

Just happened to see that the new Madeleine McCann documentary is trending on twitter - I clicked on it and saw that hundreds of people were saying things along the lines of "Who would leave their children alone in a foreign country?"

I was slightly Blush at this because dh and I honestly used to do this all the time. My dc are a few years older than Madeleine - when we went on holiday to resorts in places like Greece and Spain, we would often leave them alone in a hotel room (often with a window/patio door open for fresh air) while we went out for dinner.

Obviously, after Madeleine went missing we never did it again, but I do recall it being pretty common behaviour at least among our friends.

Did anyone else used to do this in the pre-MM era?

OP posts:
Marcipex · 15/03/2019 21:00

No, never.
I don't know of anyone who did, either.

lyralalala · 15/03/2019 21:00

. I really feel that the only thing they were guilty of was being taken in by the Mark Warner brand. Honestly this is what their holidays were sold on. And they were not far way from the room. Why that company did not come off worse I do not know.

They opted not to use the listening/babysitting service that Mark Warner offered.
The company probably had no idea they had been leaving kids alone. It was nothing to do with MW.

ColeHawlins · 15/03/2019 21:01

They were on a Mark Warner holiday. You paid good money (I could never afford but I know others who could!) to have this facility. This was all part of the service. People do not seem to realise this.

Why those poor parents are vilified I will never know.

Huh? What service? They didn't use any service.

LoveBeingAMum555 · 15/03/2019 21:02

I was going to add that my eldest was a tricky toddler and if he went to sleep in the car coming home I would leave him in the car parked on the drive to sleep, strapped into his car seat. I knew lots of parents who did this back then. My car had an electrical fault and one day it caught fire, thankfully I had taken him out that day. Thinking back it was a pretty stupid thing to do.

NorthernBullet · 15/03/2019 21:03

Christ. I'm mid-30s and my parents were of the 'liberal parenting' variety - they definitely never left me alone whilst abroad though

Mumberjack · 15/03/2019 21:04

I roll my eyes at some of the neurotic parenting on here sometimes but I’d never leave my kids in our hotel room and go out for dinner.
I know that the resort in question and the whole Mark Warner thing has (or had) a reputation for being a very safe, very comfortable middle class place that it was maybe seen as less of an issue. But I’d never feel comfortable about doing that.

Windowsareforcheaters · 15/03/2019 21:05

The past is a very long time ago and people remember it differently.

My dc are older and I wouldn't have left them but I know lots of people who did and now totally deny they would ever have done that.

As a child of the 70s my parents rarely knew where we were. All the other children jumping off balconies and hiding in dangerous places had equally negligent parents.

RedBerryTea · 15/03/2019 21:06

My children were born in 1991 and 1995 and we absolutely never did this. None of our friends would have either - It was not common practice.

CharminglyGawky · 15/03/2019 21:06

I was 17 in 2007 and read the headlines in college with a group of friends, it was brand new news to all of us and I read out the basic facts or at least as much as was reported on the first day and even in that little group of teenagers the conversation was immediately "why were they left all alone?"

None of us had ever been left, it seemed alien to us.

Ginger1982 · 15/03/2019 21:07

Shortsaint how are Mark Warner to blame???

coffeeismyspinach · 15/03/2019 21:07

And I don't think my parents were getting pissed. We were in the car after all (no seatbelts mind!) it really was different then. You could not go into pubs. (It feels so strange to think that).

I'm sure they were just in there proselytising sinners, I mean, why else would anyone go into a pub and ditch their kids in a car with crisps and coke for a few hours? Hmm

kingfisherblue33 · 15/03/2019 21:07

When people mention a listening service, it wouldn't help much would it, if your child had climbed out of their cot trying to find you and landed on their head, rendering them unconscious, or worse.

But that could happen in their own bedroom at home and you might not hear! Let’s not scaremonger...

kingfisherblue33 · 15/03/2019 21:10

My car had an electrical fault and one day it caught fire, thankfully I had taken him out that day. Thinking back it was a pretty stupid thing to do.

Oh, come on! How often do cars go on fire? It’s pretty safe to leave a napping dc in the car on the drive. Unless you knew your car had an electrical fault and you were still leaving dc in it...

NewAccount270219 · 15/03/2019 21:11

I'm 31 and we were left with a listening service - which I would never do now, but I do think is massively different to leaving DC completely unmonitored as the McCanns and OP apparently did. A listening service or a monitor doesn't guard against all the bad things that could happen - which is why I wouldn't do it now - but it does rule a few out, at least.

HarrySnotter · 15/03/2019 21:12

Not in any way usual among our friends. My parents never left us alone on holiday (I'm in my 50s now) and we didn't leave our DCs either. It was all part of the fun of the holiday for us when we were kids.

coffeeismyspinach · 15/03/2019 21:12

I really feel that the only thing they were guilty of was being taken in by the Mark Warner brand. Honestly this is what their holidays were sold on. And they were not far way from the room. Why that company did not come off worse I do not know. Must have had some PR spin behind it.

Yep, Mark Warner forced its clients to ditch their toddlers and babies in unlocked apartments unsupervised so the parents could go drinking and have dinner child free Hmm.

popsadaisy · 15/03/2019 21:12

No. I even feel on edge sitting in the garden when my LG is upstairs asleep - even when I have the monitor sitting next to me but then I am probably a little over anxious.

cuppycakey · 15/03/2019 21:12

No. I don't know anyone who would ever entertain leaving a toddler and 1 year old twins alone in an apartment and going off to dinner with friends.

I had my first DC in 1997. It was absolutely unthinkable then as it is now.

EmeraldShamrock · 15/03/2019 21:13

No never, my parents never left us alone. My BIL DM back in the 70's would go out drinking for 4 hours most nights, when she had her 2nd DC he didn't sleep as well. Hmm
My Dad did drink and drive with us, something that wouldn't/ shouldn't happen today.
DC have been abducted and raped for years before Madeline went missing.

HollySwift · 15/03/2019 21:13

No, I was never left alone in an unlocked apartment in a foreign country as a 3 year old. Or 4.... or ever. I am 30.

Funnily enough I’ve never felt the need to do it either.

anniehm · 15/03/2019 21:13

We have kids the same age as Madeline would be, we were aghast at the time they left their kids, we wouldn't have dreamt of doing so, we ate dinner together and double buggies are an amazing invention, if we wanted to be out later, they would fall asleep in it. Yes at the time I was judgemental of them. Ironically dh now is a colleague of the dad, Gerry, hes very nice but you don't mention it, work is work.

NursieBernard · 15/03/2019 21:15

No I have never and would never do this. I have DC that were under 6 pre 2007 and I never left them like you are suggesting. It certainly was not common practice in my circle of friends.

ChicCroissant · 15/03/2019 21:16

BoomBoomsCousin

It used to be quite common in the UK. When I was young places like Butlins used to have someone walking around the cabins and if a child was crying the cabin number would go up on the screen in the main hall so the parents could go back and see to them.

This! I always used to look around the room to see if anyone got up!

We were never left like that as children (I'm in my fifties now) and I've certainly never left my own DD either. I do know someone who has left their children in a hotel room with a listening service while they ate in the same hotel, and I was surprised they did that - they are the only ones I can think of.

Katinkka · 15/03/2019 21:17

A ten minute walk? Fucking hell....

Marcipex · 15/03/2019 21:18

Children were often allowed out to play, but at 7, 8, 9, depending on the traffic/parents, not at 2 and 3.

There were two sisters in the next village, who were well known to be neglected and sent out all day every day , no matter what the weather. Other mums would give them lunch. When they were 6 and 7, they both drowned.
Their mother expected sympathy and found herself vilified instead.