To think that things were different before 2007?

[Haarrieett]

Just happened to see that the new Madeleine McCann documentary is trending on twitter - I clicked on it and saw that hundreds of people were saying things along the lines of "Who would leave their children alone in a foreign country?"

I was slightly at this because dh and I honestly used to do this all the time. My dc are a few years older than Madeleine - when we went on holiday to resorts in places like Greece and Spain, we would often leave them alone in a hotel room (often with a window/patio door open for fresh air) while we went out for dinner.

Obviously, after Madeleine went missing we never did it again, but I do recall it being pretty common behaviour at least among our friends.

Did anyone else used to do this in the pre-MM era?

Aside from going to school and me going to work. My DD has been weilded to me from birth.

Windows - you are correct in that it obviously was, and perhaps still is classed as 'normal' behavior for a significant minority of people but judging from the responses to this thread it was never the norm for the majority of UK families, either before or after 2007

I know many who would perhaps leave a sleeping child in a hotel room and go downstairs for a drink at the bar before bed or who would sit on a balcony or patio outside a villa while children slept indoors but I honestly don't think any of my friends or family would take a 10 minute walk to a restaurant or bar leaving small children without a babysitter.

I'm 50 and my parents didn't leave us like that. We didn't stay in anything except self catering until I was a teenager anyway.

I'm 26 and my parents never left me alone in hotel room at that age. I was allowed to stay up late and I remember my little brother staying out late and sleeping in his buggy.

No, sorry. My sister and I were never left. Bathed and a nap after the beach and then out again to family entertainment places full of children until after 10pm. Parents would put us to bed and then have a G&T on the balcony.

I've accepted like them, that being a parent means that couples holidays are off the menu for a few years now. We can go for posh dinners at home where we've got trusted childcare.

What’s interesting, of course is that children are less likely to come to harm alone in a hotel room than on the beach, or in a busy road or being driven in a car. But there is no logic to risk msnsgement!

What’s interesting, of course is that children are less likely to come to harm alone in a hotel room than on the beach, or in a busy road or being driven in a car. But there is no logic to risk msnsgement!
Please stop talking sense. It's offensive to the helicopter mummies.

If the McCanns had taken Madeline out sailing and there had been an accident and she drowned,they would have had nothing but sympathy. They did something much safer.......

It's not being a helicopter mum to care about your children. For me if my child woke up and broke its heart crying for me and I wasn't there that would be bad enough - they don't need to actually come to harm.

“For me if my child woke up and broke its heart crying for me and I wasn't there that would be bad enough”
Absolutely- me too.

Please stop talking sense. It's offensive to the helicopter mummies.

Oh don’t be disingenuous. Not leaving your pre-school aged children alone in a hotel room, does not make you a “helicopter mummy” . And how patronising of you to use the word “mummies”, presumably to make people who disagree with you look silly. Nice.

My parents didn’t eat out as looking back think they on a tight budget. We did Eurocamp in France and all had dinner together. Happy days

Okay so when the couple on benefits piss off in the evening to the neighbours for a drink .... I mean that's less dangerous than sailing .... so I guess it's fine? What a load of crap. There are so many layers to this and all of them are ugly to me.

I'm in my 40s, we used to go to Spain every year and were regularly put to bed in the hotel room while parents went down to the hotel bar. We'd go with several families and all would do the same, with one of the adults popping up every half hour to check all the rooms. Scarily similar, and very normal at the time

“Okay so when the couple on benefits piss off in the evening to the neighbours for a drink .... I mean that's less dangerous than sailing .... so I guess it's fine?“
No, it’s not fine. It’s just that one is a slightly risky activity whoever does it and the other is not, whoever does it. Our perceptions of risk are skewed, and further distorted by social pressures.

Okay well we have crossed wires here then. I wasn't even contemplating as far as "risk" to my child. It is enough for me to consider her needing me in the night/evening for something and no responsible adult being nearby. That's neglect.

Also for a PP, considering all of the people I know and have met in real life as well as posters on this site, I certainly do not fall into the category of "helicopter mummy" as you put it. What happened to common sense and mother's instinct??

It’s not particularly about risk of harm as far as I’m concerned. It’s a bizarre attitude of thinking it’s better to put your children to bed and leave them alone rather than bring them out for dinner with you on holiday. I just don’t know why you would do it and why you would prioritise an adults-only evening over your most basic parenting responsibilities. It’s unlikely they will be killed - it’s very likely they will be distressed. It’s really not a case of helicopter parenting to find the idea of it abhorrent.

Back in the 80s my parents never went on holiday, but the one time they did, they left me and my brother in a strange house alone whilst they went to have dinner in town.
It was a windy night, so lots of weird noises and we had full access to the TV.
Amytivile horror was on that night.
We were pretrified and had barricaded ourselves in the living room. Parents had to push their way through.
We were 8 and 4.
Never went on a family holiday after that.

Not exactly the Amytiville horror, but something similar. Bleeding walls..

No way never.

I think people would have a lot more sympathy for the McCanns had they put their hands up and said " we f*ed up, we were wrong to leave them " but they have always defended that decision as far as I know.

I haven't had the chance to see the documentary yet. The last thread was deleted before I got the chance to ask this question: does the documentary mention that very shortly after Madeleine's disappearance, the McCanns set up a "Find Madeleine" fund, and used part of it to pay their mortgage? Their own spokesman admitted this.

I've always found it amazing that they claimed they left the door unlocked "in case of a fire". What difference did they think that was going to make? They were doctors who knew how quickly smoke inhalation kills small children. Did they think their three-year-old would sling one baby over each shoulder and sprint to safety?

I did this once in a small b& b type hotel with a listening service when ds was a baby . The restaurant was on the floor below the bedroom so it seemed no different to me than having dinner at home when DS was in bed .

However I wasn't completely relaxed and DS woke up and the staff let me know. By the time I got to the room, DS was crying quite a lot so I decided not to do not again as he had obvious woken in a strange place and had been more upset than he would have been at home.

I'm only on episode 4, but they haven't mentioned it yet.

Ive no idea why the mods delete threads about the McCann's, yet people are apparently allowed to say that Ben Needhams Uncle was responsible for his death? I suppose the Needhams don't know the right people though...

Deleting threads if you even question their version of events makes it look like they have a massive hold over what is said , where and by whom. It only makes them look worse. I'm sure this thread will be deleted soon enough.