To think that things were different before 2007?

[Haarrieett]

Just happened to see that the new Madeleine McCann documentary is trending on twitter - I clicked on it and saw that hundreds of people were saying things along the lines of "Who would leave their children alone in a foreign country?"

I was slightly at this because dh and I honestly used to do this all the time. My dc are a few years older than Madeleine - when we went on holiday to resorts in places like Greece and Spain, we would often leave them alone in a hotel room (often with a window/patio door open for fresh air) while we went out for dinner.

Obviously, after Madeleine went missing we never did it again, but I do recall it being pretty common behaviour at least among our friends.

Did anyone else used to do this in the pre-MM era?

Wasn't that uncommon back then. Obviously not the done thing since the MM case.

Even when Dd was a tiny baby on holiday we would take her with us to restaurants in the evening. We would walk with her in her pram and I would hold her or lay her in the pram at the table when she was tired.
No way would I have left her anywhere.

Same when we had Ds.

British parents seem to think they had to have their children in bed by a certain time so the parents could go out and eat on their own.

We did what the locals did and wandered into restaurants with our push chair and children. (Although we were on the early side. We like to eat about 8pm) Spain especially we would see children coming into restaurants with their parents at 10.30pm on what would have been a school night.

Never left mine sleeping alone and can't understand why anyone would leave children of that age. As many pp we went out with them and they fell asleep in buggies or on our knees etc.

Once they were older (around 8 & 10) we would all have dinner and watch the entertainment etc together and then DC thought they were very grown up to be allowed to go back to the room and get ready for bed then put cartoons on while we had a finished our drink. Even then, the room was in direct sight of where we were sitting and locked and we were back there about 15 minutes after the DC.

I am pretty sure that no one has ever thought it a good idea to leave young children alone even to nip to a close by shop so how would it ever have been ok to leave them to go out to eat and drink?

I always said I don't know why they even bothered taking the children on holiday. Maddie spent all day in the kids club then the evening alone with her siblings in bed.

It seems the parents just could not be bothered with the children at all

Weve only stayed in a hotel twice with our kids. The only week long holiday we had in a hotel both kids were sick. I spent most evenings sitting on the balcony of our room, while the kids were in bed and the rest of my family (we went with extended family) were downstairs in the bar or watching the entertainment. It was a shit holiday but i read some great books!!😂😂

“However, there were cases of new babies being stolen from prams, so parents stopped doing this.”
Were there?

My Mum left us in the house by ourselves two or three evenings a week in the 90s while she went down the road to have a glass of wine and a chat with her friend. My sibling and I would have been about 8 and 4. Then once I was 10 she’d wait till we were in bed and perhaps go a little further afield. I really didn’t like it because I often woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep, but it definitely happened and was quite normal for us. Most of her friends were also single mothers though, so maybe it was normalized among their group because there were no other options. She also used to leave us in the car outside when she did the weekly shop!

mydogsisthebest this has always been my opinion as well. I think they were the kind of parents who put their own needs before that of their children. Why bother having children when you can't be bothered to spend time with them?

Oh yes, the GP & police officer couple I already mentioned have definitely used to leave their 5-6 yo dd in the car while they did the shopping. That would have been a couple of years ago.

Some people still do this, although for most people I know it would be unthinkable.

Why are posters insisting children were never left when other posters are assuring them that children were left.

I don't think the majority of parents left children for long but a significant minority did.

I was left for periods of time as were children in my extended family. I know friends who did this. It. Did. Happen. And people were open about discussing it.

Just because it didn't happen to you doesn't mean it didn't happen.

I think when you add in the context that Maddie was a bit under the weather (as I recall) then no one then or now would leave their child alone, with their two younger siblings. Poor Maddie.

I think rarely, BertrandRussell, but yes.
My late MIL looked after a woman in a home, in the days when a residential home could be all-women. This poor soul had had a lifetime of miscarriages, and one child who had lived for only a few months . In later life she stole a baby from a pram outside a shop. (The baby was rescued unharmed )

I don’t think this was ever normal or acceptable. I’m old and remember staying up late, being out in the buggy. We always came back together. When DD was little she either came out late with us, or we’d go back early and sit out on the balcony.

I remember at the time everyone was horrified they had left such small children alone. Every night. After being in the kids club, all day every day. Oh people judged them, quite rightly.

It did happen before 2007 and it still happens, but I don’t actually think the majority, before or after, would have done it.

The baby listening service was very common and considered quite acceptable. I promise! It was one of the reasons people liked Butlins. And it was available in a very posh hotel I stayed in in Bournemouth in about 1999 because there was a printed leaflet about it in our room.

I realise the OP has left the thread but on her last post she says her children were 5 and 7 when she did this and that just seems bizarre. Why wouldn’t you take children of those ages out to dinner with you? I can’t wrap my head around it at all. Holidays are family time.

I'm shocked that that was a normal thing to do amongst you and your friends op! My youngest was about Madeleine's age when she went missing and my oldest about 12 and I wouldn't have dreamt of leaving them while I went off to enjoy myself,and neither would any of my friends. Don't have kids, or leave them home with a trusted family member while you go off on your jollies if you're not prepared to put their needs ahead of your selfish wants.

Journalists need to whip up some new copy on MM at the moment.

In reality it has all be said before, but this way you can frame it as a recent MN discussion.

I often left my babies asleep in hotel rooms. They were good sleepers and they were confined in their cots. We would take it in turns to check on them ever 30 mins. None of them ever woke up. Once they were toddlers I wouldn’t leave them as they could get out of bed and hurt themselves.

My kids are all younger than MM.

I was a child of the 80's we went on lots of holidays uk & foreign and my parents never left me alone. I would be allowed to stay up later some nights & if overtired on other nights I would go to bed at the normal time & they have a drink etc on the balcony if staying up later. Since the MM case I'm amazed at the amount of people that say they've done it... wouldn't enter my head

Mine are 27 and 21 and it's not something I ever did

If you wouldn't do it at home then you don't do it abroad! It's child neglect to leave toddlers alone with no adult supervision, and dangerous for a whole raft of reasons. I'm incredulous really that anyone ever thought it was ok!

@Myusernameismud this is what I can't get passed.... she said herself her 4 year old daughter said why didn't she come in the night when she was crying.... imagine that guilt & they still went & left her that night... unreal!! There were more than enough adults for them to take shifts in sitting with the children or take a turn each night.. they have no excuse at all

I remember on a holiday to Florida my brother and I were left in the hotel room (him asleep, me with the Disney channel for company) a few times but I was 10 and I knew where my parents were and how to get to them if needed.

I’m 30 and I’m sure my parents left me in a hotel room abroad. My dad also said a Greek waiters family babysat for me too whilst on holiday.

I remember been left with my cousins at home whilst my aunt and uncle would go to the pub all day and most of the night. And eating their left over takeaway the next morning.

Obviously things we wouldnt dream of doing now.

Mid 30s, my parents never did this. I never heard of any of my friends being left either. Completely alien behaviour to me in 2007 and now I am a parent even more abhorent.