To think that things were different before 2007?

[Haarrieett]

Just happened to see that the new Madeleine McCann documentary is trending on twitter - I clicked on it and saw that hundreds of people were saying things along the lines of "Who would leave their children alone in a foreign country?"

I was slightly at this because dh and I honestly used to do this all the time. My dc are a few years older than Madeleine - when we went on holiday to resorts in places like Greece and Spain, we would often leave them alone in a hotel room (often with a window/patio door open for fresh air) while we went out for dinner.

Obviously, after Madeleine went missing we never did it again, but I do recall it being pretty common behaviour at least among our friends.

Did anyone else used to do this in the pre-MM era?

My parents never left us. Part of the fun of being holiday was staying up late - yes, even as toddlers!

I remember being left in a hotel room.

I would not do it. The worry would outweigh any fun I was trying to have

Obviously some people did it, and obviously some of those stopped doing it after Madeleine went missing. But I remember a huge level of incredulity both online and in my personal circle at the time, so it’s not like it’s was accepted practice.

I went on several holidays in Spain with my then toddler around 2002-2006 and I never left him sleeping in the apartment on his own. I genuinely do not know anyone that would have.

Thank God I'm not a parent. I wouldn't be cut out for that level of vigilance

We certanily did it in various places whlst we had an evening meal, but stayed on site and went back to the room every half an hour or so. I am not sure it is any more or less risky now but people's views on things change. and cultures differ. Children might well walk to school alone at 6 or 7 in Germany.

As we all know the least safe place for children is their home sadly as friends and even relatives can do awful things to them.; That doesn't mean we shouldn't protect them also from strangers but very few children are snatched each year. It is quite low risk.

We all take our own decisions every day with our children as to what we think is safe and not within the confines of the law.

I was left aged 6 in a hotel room alone whilst parents and elder sister went for dinner. I can still remember it now. Hated it. Don't think my mum wanted to but my dad was very controlling. I had dinner brought up on a tray when they were getting ready. Then they locked me in. Wouldn't ever do with my DS and never did.

Meant to add in Spain. A normal hotel not a resort.

No, I didn’t. DS was 2 in 2007.

Holidays for us were in places where we could sit outside on the balcony of the apartment or caravan in the evening knowing that he was asleep in his room. Less than exciting for us, as adults, but much safer. No-one I know would have done things differently to us, so I don’t think we were unusually precious.

I'm 42 now and back in the 70s/80s I only recall my parents leaving me and my siblings in our apartment once, in Spain. And that was because they were utterly at the end of their tether with us arguing and moaning all day long - they were desperate for an hours peace to eat dinner. We were older too, the youngest was about 8. I remember being told we mustn't leave the apartment or answer the door in pain of death and to phone reception if any problem.

DS1 was born pre 2007. We took him in his buggy and he slept when we had dinner. I couldn't have left him, but would I have felt safer leaving multiple kids, with all my professional friends doing it and a rota for checking on them all? Maybe, I don't know. Couldn't have done it with DS2 ever as he didn't sleep, we just took him and had to entertain him while we ate every night.

" "have never heard of anyone" doing this even 30/40 years ago and yet on other threads people are bleating on about "the good old days" where children could roam from morning till night without an adult in sight and having a wonderful adventurous life hmm"

A toddler and two babies though? The roaming thing is for slightly older children. Plus it's different to being left alone at home at night.

I wouldn't leave my purse/phone/bag in a hotel room, with an unlocked window, so not sure why I'd leave my child..

It wouldn't have occurred to me to leave my children alone on holiday any more than I would have left them at home.

I also recall a little girl being taken and murdered when she was sleeping in a tent in a back garden in the UK. This stopped me ever allowing my children to 'camp out' in my garden when they were growing up.

No would never ever have done that. We paid a babysitter to sit in the hotel room with our baby once in cyprus whilst we ate in the hotel restaurant . Another time we took the baby monitor into the restaurant with us. Would never have left the building! Let alone leave kids in an unlocked room. I was really shocked they did that.

Well when I was 5 and my sisters were 2 and a few months old, our mother left us alone in the flat. This resulted in us being taken into care.
But I suppose because she was a single mother on benefits and not a middle class doctor that makes all the difference!!!!
(Although that wasn’t the only thing my mum did but it was the thing that triggered action)

I was watching the programme last night and saw how the hotel had a night creche/babysitting but that the McCann's didn't think the timings would work with their children's sleep times.

I will never understand why they left them in an emergency, let alone to go for a drink. I mean, how could you relax?

My own children were babies in 2006 and I have never left them like that. Not even to pop round a neighbour's house. Also YY to the poster above re camping in the garden.

Going back to my own childhood in the 70s/80s, it wasn't normal to leave your children. My parents enjoyed a drink on hol, so we would go out with them and go to the children's room in the pub (uk only and we weren't toddlers).

I would leave dd in a chalet bedroom (some of them fairly big chalet hotels) while we ate downstairs. However the door would be locked and I would have a baby monitor and I was a minute away if she started crying.

After 2007 the company started putting chalet staff on each corridor which they hadn't done before.

I was always a bit surprised by the amount of parents who didn't lock doors and didn't use baby monitors. One chalet we stayed in the dining room was in the basement. Dh had gone upstairs for some reason and found a toddler crying on the stairs. Parents had no idea, the kid could have wandered out the front door and nobody would have known. Someone could have come into the chalet and nobody would have known.....there was no front desk/reception.

*meant, I can't understand how you could leave them. Not even for an emergency, let alone socialising.

We did it in a uk hotel once in early 2007. There was a listening device. I hated it but everyone else in our group was doing it. Abduction didn't cross my mind but fire did and them waking up scared. After what happened to MM it was never suggested again

The benefit for them (against many other families who might have left kids pre 2007) was that they were with several sets of friends. I think i would have suggested taking turns to have couples nights out. (If not using the creche provided) When our kids were young we sometimes went away with our parents "so they could babysit" but in the event i dont think we ever did go out.

My parents were very 'loose' with rules but I can say that they never, ever left us alone on holiday (or anywhere else) despite my brother being 8 years old than me and my other brothers.

Even at Butlins with the listening service. Surely families go on holiday to spend time together? We used to go to the club at night and young children would just sleep in their prams.

I've done it

No I don't think they were different before then. I remember when she went missing, people pretty soon started asking back then "Why were 3 very young children left on their own?". So it's not just something people are pondering about now, that question has been there since pretty much the beginning of her disappearance.

Didn't have dc back then but it's not something that would cross my mind to do. I would feel a right twat swanning down to dinner without the kids, not knowing if they were OK or not!

From what I’ve read, the Mark Warner resorts did have a babysitting service etc. I remember reading at the the time of MM’s disappearance that she did have a nanny of some kind during the day so I’m assuming her parents did sometimes use the morning crèche/babysitting services. What struck me at the time was the fact that the former nanny did make comments about MM being a beautiful child etc and not being able to forget Gerry checking under the cars etc. Perhaps others too noticed her and marked her out and therefore like others said, it could have happened anywhere when the parents backs were turned? The fact that they were checking every 30 minutes might also have been noted by others. I’m sure the British police were aware of this prospect so let’s not blame the parents or other parents for making a mistake for that matter. We all make mistakes, we are only human. If people start making it a thread about bashing other people’s parenting choices then don’t be surprised if this thread is removed as well.