Urgent advice re phones abroad needed. Suspicions re DH

[Plastictattoo]

Hi
DH flew to European city today with work. Not too unusual to happen but some things have got me thinking.

1. He bought new trainers, coat and had hair cut yesterday.
2. He text me to say not to tag him on FB as some people at work were saying this trip was a jolly. (I rarely post on FB and probably tag him about 2/3 times a year for holiday photos so this seemed really odd request).
3. I missed a call from him so rang back from my mobile. His number is saved without the international dialling numbers in my phone and it rang as normal..ie not the abroad ring tone I was expecting. Does this mean that he isn't on mainland Europe?

I said I woukd call back. Is there a way of doing this that means I could establish where he is? Hope that makes sense. TIA

He was confused about the time?

Assuming the fake trip is in Europe the time difference is very easy to work out lie about

Confused over the time? But dont iphones auto update?? there must also be clocks around ,i the room,hotel,tv etc..?

So, he had to think about it, to remember what the time difference is at the place he's said he is. It does sound suspicious.

OP you haven't answered pps who asked if you've had any other reasons to be suspicious. Usually, there are other signs, and someone in a secure relationship, who trusts their partner, wouldn't suddenly become suspicious over this. So what else has he done to make you suspect he's lying to you?

iPhones update automatically to the country you are in, he'd have no need to be confused.

Ring him and say the kids want to face time with him. Say let’s see the room, what’s outside the window?

Keep calling him. Trip him up.

OP I think my husband's working pattern is similar. You are 100% right to be suspicious, this doesn't add up.

One hour time difference.
I've texted asking him to send a photo for the kids. He said he is in the hotel and not going back out...
Possibly other reasons to suspect but I know how these things go on AIBU! It was the phone thing I was looking for advice on.

How long ago did he tell you about the trip? Has he had other work trips before? Does he make more of an effort with his appearance, go out more etc. Sorry but I would be suspicious too, alone they are not too bad but added up, they become significant. New trainers for a work trip, New hair cut, Coat, asking you not to tag him as 'work - (the people who sent him on a work trip) think he is on a jolly!, the lack of a ringtone and now he stumbled about the time it is.

One thing that has occurred to me though, surely its within his control not to post any photos for you to tag him in...that bit doesn't make sense, unless he means you messaging him that you are missing him on his wall, and as he has told them he is away with you it would look odd. Hmmm I think you need to ask him straight.

I never tell my husband what flight I’m getting or hotel I’m in (other than time of flight and city). Also no one in my work could tell him where I am as I book it myself and wouldn’t tell them either and they don’t have access to my travel details.

Time difference thing is well weird as is the no tagging on fb. Good luck op.

How many hours different is the place he is supposed to be in? Hasn't his phone auto adapted to the correct time?

I never share my hotel or flight information with DH. He doesn't need to know. And even if he rang my work and they ignored data protection, they wouldn't know either. I book it myself so the details are on my email and computer.

Something else is making you suspicious.

I wouldn’t think that dh was up to anything because of those three things.

Ring his work of get someone else to and ask to speak to him. If they say he is on annual leave then you'll know.

Either say to him, "I was chatting to [insert name of friend/colleague/neighbour] and told them you were in [location]. They are thinking of going later in the year and have asked me what hotel you're in and how it is?"
Or, "I just found out that [Xxx] from work's partner is also in [city] and comes back the same day as you! What flight are you on? It would be funny if it was the same one."

I don’t understand what he meant re tagging eirher. What he said doesn’t make any sense to me.

just a thought, it may not be a work trip but he may have gone on a 'jolly' with a mate and thought you wouldn't be happy being left with the children so decided to pretend it was work, just saying while I would suspect its not work, he may be playing golf with a friend as opposed to seeing another woman.

My phone has dial assist so automatically adds the country code if I ring say my mum in the UK from my mobile in France.
If she rings me, then the number doesn't need the country code prefix - my network knows where my phone is - but she knows when I'm abroad as she gets the 'continental' ring tone.

If you have a joint account and online banking you could check where money has been spent and when.

The Facebook thing is the one that would bother me. As you don't post often and he isn't away with you it seems a very odd thing for him to worry about - unless he's told work or someone that he IS with you. But why do that?

It really doesn't matter whether other people have emergency details for their partners when they're away. It's what is normal for you and DH that matters. If something seems "off" to you then trust your instincts.

I don't see how getting someone else to phone work would help. They'll just say, "he's out of the office" at the moment or away. They won't give details. I don't think asking him to get you duty free booze or anything will help. He might be away somewhere else or he'll just say he forgot or they didn't have what you wanted. If he is lying he won't be found out that way.

I would find the tagging thing odd, although if he's concerned, he could just change his settings in FB so that nobody can tag him without his approval.

Not sharing hotel details would be normal for me. If someone wants to know where I am, they can just call me

I know someone who said he was away and was actually in the office just spending the evening with the ow.

call his bluff, text him and say "sorry forgot you told me not to tag you but I had an adorable photo of the DC I wanted to show you and popped it on your FB, but don't worry I added a comment to make it clear to your colleagues that you were on a work trip and we were missing you"

I called a client on her mobile on Portugal yesterday from UK and it sounded like a normal call, i.e no international ring tone.

You do not need an international dial code to dial a U.K. mobile from the U.K., irrelevant of where in the world that U.K. phone is. You only need a code if you're dialling a phone registered to a different country to that which you're in.

You are not doing this. You are phoning a brutish phone from Britain, there is no code required,

Some Eu countries have a different dial tone, some don't, they are the same as the U.K.

If that was all the advice you wished, then the dial tone and code is not a red flag, it would be correct,

So the question then is why do you think you're husband is lying and is someplace in the U.K. hiding from you?

Tag him on FB. See what happens. Are there other things that have made you suspicious?

theworldisfullofgs - I do hope that's not the case for Op

I'm sorry OP but my radar is pinging