Is a teacher sending a personal thank letter to a child's home over stepping a boundary?

[BoobiesToTheRescue]

Or normal?

I was surprised when DS got a thank you card through the post today, hand written from one of his school teachers.

Probably totally normal, I was just wondering really.

Place marking in the very unlikely hope that OP comes back to explain what the note was. Curious what could be classed as inappropriate short of the snugglebuns option 🤓

Lots of schools do this routinely. If you ask other parents at your child's school I'm sure they will tell you they also got them.

It's supported in our school. Encouraged even.

They have templates for postcards.

I saw a teacher cuddling a pupil (age 9) on the playground yesterday - that's not right. A teacher should not be contacting you (unless by phone because of an emergency! ) at your home. It is a lovely gesture but should be put into the child's book bag or handed to you.

It's not a teacher contacting you at home. Postcards home are a routine part of praising pupils. Teachers right a comment on the cards then the school office print out addresses and send them out. Teachers send a few out a month. They are not personal messages they are routine methods of praise organised by the school.

I saw a teacher cuddling a pupil (age 9) on the playground yesterday - that's not right
Why on earth not! They may have fallen over and hurt themselves, their pet ( or parent) might have passed away and they were distraught, they might have fallen out with their best friend, there might be 101 times when a quick hug makes a 9 YEAR OLD feel better. It would be a poor teacher who told a sad child to go away. Children frequently give teachers a hug, I get hugs simply for walking down the corridor! As long as it is brief, in view of others and age appropriate, there is no reason why not!

I saw a teacher cuddling a pupil (age 9) on the playground yesterday - that's not right
OMFG

I would be delighted if a teacher takes care and comfort my child when he needs it!

You do understand the difference between a friendly supportive teacher on the PLAYGROUND in view of the whole school, and some creep sneaking in a cupboard with a child don't you?

How do we still have teachers who accept to do their jobs nowadays is anyone's guess, honestly.

Why is it the crossing the line ? I have not read the whole thread but baffles me what the problem is.

Qwertylass we will probably never know as OP has not returned to this thread, as most if not all answers have told her that she was in the wrong and there is nothing wrong with teachers doing this.

We don't know the context-it might all be a storm in a teacup- but I do think that teachers should check with parents before invading the home through the letterbox
Invading the home?? FFS! That and the original post are two of the stupidest comments I've read recently on Mumsnet. Get a grip and get a life. It's a bloody thank you letter!!!!!!!

I saw a teacher cuddling a pupil (age 9) on the playground yesterday - that's not right

We actually had training on this at school, for our own benefit, in case of complaints from parents or being reported.

It was decided that we should not initiate cuddles with the (aged 3-11) children but that if a child spontaneously cuddles us (happens 2-3 times a day to me) we should quickly scoot round so that we are ‘side on’ (so hip contact only) and offer one arm around the shoulder only. This is in a classroom room or playground in full view of other adults / children. I guess if we were alone in the classroom I’d have to jump away and hold an arm out to stop them.

It is absolutely fucking ridiculous, imo. Particularly when the child in question is distraught. What a sad sad state of affairs, honestly.

@Elf.
Something we have to get used not being appreciated. I was told on another thread that teachers and children are equal and that it is perfectly acceptable to be told to piss of by a yr 5 girl.

I do think that teachers should check with parents before invading the home through the letterbox

I am now wondering if I should have a word with HRMC and demand that they stop invading my home, must be something against my human rights there...

Yes, I too work in a school and we are trained that when a child falls over in the playground, don't physically help them to get up if you can possibly help it, for your own sake. Ask first if they can get up by themselves and then look around for a little friend to help them up. Try as best you can not to touch them. Awful isn't it?

I saw a teacher cuddling a pupil (age 9) on the playground yesterday - that's not right

After recent - this week - safeguarding training : a non contact policy in school contravenes all recommendations. Schools,
Especially at primary level, should never have a non-contact policy for staff and pupils.

we should quickly scoot round so that we are ‘side on’ (so hip contact only) and offer one arm around the shoulder only.

I think this is the norm in most schools anyway? It's certainly common sense.

Teachers I’m so sorry at the lengths you have to go to to protect yourselves. I’d love for my sons to get hugs at school. to all you amazing teachers out there who every single day strive to do the best by our children.

My son is autistic in a main stream school, he’s doing fantastic, lovely teachers and school, regularly gets postcards home, which we are very proud to receive, but he hates the cards which have SEN on the front, he feels even the postman knows he has additional needs. He finds it really embarrassing and would much prefer just a generic card with the school emblem rather than the department on the front.

Yes we are told about the side hug, avoid completely if possible,don't prolong contact etc. In theory it makes sense and keeps both staff and children safe.

In practice? When I have a kid that is spent emotionally from just coming out of a meltdown, a kid having a breakdown because they were bullied, a kid crying because daddy beat them, a kid confessing to self harm, a kid worried and confused because daddy is in prison because he beat mummy up and now they've split up and a billion other issues (some smaller some bigger) weighing heavily on their tiny shoulders, I will give them that bloody hug! Because they need it.

Bonnet- have you mentioned this at school? It does seem insensitive and it may they've not realised the effect from your son's point of view.
(As for OP... wtaf?!)

We have had thank you letters at home from teachers for end of year gifts - I guess they feel it’s a bit late sending it out in September.

I think it’s nice, but then I’m a qualified teacher, so understand how a gesture like that actually requires quite a lot of additional effort on the teacher’s part, so whatever your child did must have been really appreciated.

As long as there’s nothing inappropriate in the content I wouldn’t worry about it personally.

Sleepylittlebunnies. How about donating a small trophy to be awarded for an act of kindness over and above what is expected. I did this with my dd and, I have to say, it rarely went to the high achievers. In my book the children who were awarded this trophy, (they got to keep it for a year), had learned the most important lesson of all. Treat others as you wish to be treated yourself. Kindness and good manners are very important but sadly, often overlooked in pursuit of academic achievement.

Great Scott! I have just read all of the posts on whether or not it's a appropriate to have physical contact with a child!
What sort of cold and unemotional offspring are you hoping to raise? Surely the ethos here should be to educate our children in what is or is not appropriate.
As a child I was told hugs make your heart grow stronger and I still believe it today.
Education, education, education and not isolation, that is the way forward.

OP, whatever you do, don't read Matilda.

Thank you for being you. This is what we need, common sense.