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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder if DC are easier if you already have pets?

148 replies

Bobcatcornea · 14/03/2019 10:45

I read the thread on all the things that are bad about being a Mum. A lot of the things on there are my life now - lack of spontaneity with trips as we constantly have to think about the cats even down to a spontaneous night out after work, being woken up at 6 am and every other blooming day of the week, the constantness of things - scoop litter trays, feeding, playing with them etc

Having DC is bloody hard. But AIBU to think that maybe the transition might be just a tad easier if you already have pets such as cats or dogs?

OP posts:

thecatsthecats · 14/03/2019 15:37

CallMeCarol

Ahhh, but that's a bit like how the head programmer at our office regularly gets the piss ripped for basic maths failures when he has a doctorate in it.

Plus kids and cats alike make a noise when you don't feed them.

Original poster

Bobcatcornea · 14/03/2019 15:37

They would be totally fine with a live in cat sitter whilst you have a weekend away!

Non existent in my area...

OP posts:

Triskaidekaphilia · 14/03/2019 16:20

I have two beloved cats who we've raised from kittens and expecting our first DC this year, and although having pets isn't always easy I don't think it makes you more prepared for DC as it's apples and oranges. I can leave my cats for most of the day when I'm at work and obviously can't with a child. At the same time I will be able to take my child on holiday and can't take my cats!

Snog · 14/03/2019 16:27

Yes I think it does make it easier as you are used to the responsibility, routine and restrictions on your life.
Easier yet not easy!

FaFoutis · 14/03/2019 16:39

When I got cats, I was the same person but I had cats.
When I had my first baby I was suddenly a completely different person, physically and mentally, in a place that I barely recognised. With a baby to look after.
I don't think my experience is an uncommon one.

MonicaGellerHyphenBing · 14/03/2019 19:30

Er no. My dogs are an absolute walk in the park compared to my toddler.

Schuyler · 14/03/2019 19:52

YABU. My dog is demanding and hard work but the sense of responsibility of being a parent is incomparable.

I can put out a bowl of water, a couple of treats and leave the dog home alone for 4 hours. It’s frowned upon to do that with a child.

Lazypuppy · 14/03/2019 19:55

My puppy was 1000 x harder than my baby was for me

Mummyshark2018 · 14/03/2019 20:07

Not a cat person, though had them growing up and know lots of people with cats. They are quite independent animals and just need food? Dogs on the other hand are harder. My dog was harder than my dc in the puppy/ baby stage. At least with a baby you can take them out with you, and yes you can leave a dog but not long enough to go out for the day. It needs a lot more planning with a dog. My dog loves attention, playing and need several walks. They are more restrictive than children in some ways and the dog now costs us more than a child- insurance, vets bills, flea and worm treatment, food, toys, 2-4 dog walks a week (£12 each!). Now that dc is 7 and dog is 18 months I fret more about the dog than dc. Hate leaving him at home and never knew I would be so emotionally attached to an animal. So yes I do think that an animal (a dog) can in some ways provide more structure to your life and you get a sense of responsibility.

makingmammaries · 14/03/2019 20:47

I’ve been laughing helplessly at this. I have several DCs, several cats and several dogs. Only the DCs have given me grey hair and serious sleepless nights. When my DD broke her arm, I stayed with her in hospital. When my dog ripped her leg open, I paid for her to board at the vet. If my dogs caused the trouble that my DS caused in his wilder days, I’d be taking the hard decision to have them PTS. And I say that as someone who loves my dogs. OP, children, especially when they get bigger and have more autonomy, are an entirely different ball game for which nothing on this earth can prepare you.

FaFoutis · 14/03/2019 21:19

One thing might be easier though - I used to be so sad that my dog would die before me. Although I catastrophise almost everything, I manage not to think like that every time I look at my DC.

nos123 · 15/03/2019 00:40

Am I the only one who disagrees with the pet~baby difficulty conversion scale? I’ve had a cat and I have a new baby. In no way could an ‘easy’ baby ever be a 6 while a cat is an 8.

I’ve never had to breast feed my screaming cat on the toilet...

jamoncrumpets · 15/03/2019 09:50

That scale is utter bullshit. Hormones and genes are involved with parenting. Oxytocin is a very, very powerful thing.

Original poster

Bobcatcornea · 15/03/2019 12:06

Personally I didn't take the scale literally. I took it as kittens bump you up the scale so you're not jumping from zero

OP posts:

ChampooPapi · 15/03/2019 15:05

I’ve never had to breast feed my screaming cat on the toilet...

@nos123 I just had this image of a disheveled woman trying to breast feed a cat on the toilet while it squirms and throws its head back screaming

Hugtheduggee · 15/03/2019 17:57

I’ve never had to breast feed my screaming cat on the toilet...

You don't necessarily have to do that with a baby either. I didn't...

They don't explode if you go for a wee first.

PCohle · 15/03/2019 18:52

Good for you Hug I'm sure that never occurred to Nos123. I'm sure she'll take your super supportive and helpful comment on board.

DuffBeer · 15/03/2019 19:03

I thought this! I have a lot of pets. Having a baby just made everything 100 times more difficult.

NewAccount270219 · 15/03/2019 20:12

I have wondered if a dog would help prepare in that they do make your life so much more spontaneous - but then I have never had a dog. We do have two cats (who we had from tiny kittens because they were found having been abandoned by their mum so came to us before they would usually be separated from her), and they were absolutely no preparation at all for a baby.

You might not be able to leave your kittens overnight at three months, OP, but you'll be able to in another three months. That's not exactly the timescale for DC...

We sometimes joke about how we used to do 'kitty night nights' when they were too small to be allowed to roam the house for their own safety - ie we put them in a safe room with their food, drink and litter and closed the door - and how nice it would be if that was bedtime routine for DS!

NewAccount270219 · 15/03/2019 20:13

so much less*!

dreichuplands · 15/03/2019 20:17

Cats no OP. I had a very spoiled one, no comparison to DC.
A puppy might get a lot closer, particularly if it was poorly or very young.

NewAccount270219 · 15/03/2019 20:17

don’t think many people who have kids are going to find the essential keeping-them-alive bit tricky

I don't think that's quite fair - the newborn stage is essentially just keeping them alive and seeing to their most basic needs and lots of people (including me) find/found that a very tricky stage! But what it takes to keep a newborn's basic needs met is very, very many orders of magnitude more than what it takes to meet a cat's basic needs.

IHopeYouUnderstandWeArePuppets · 15/03/2019 21:02

Maybe you’re right NewAccount, I think I was probably answering based very much on the phase I’m at with my own children. I have a very easy5mo and a 5yo and a 6yo. Looking back, the keeping her alive bit with my 6yo as a newborn was hell. And the bloody cat didn’t prepare me for it at all!

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