Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder if DC are easier if you already have pets?

148 replies

Bobcatcornea · 14/03/2019 10:45

I read the thread on all the things that are bad about being a Mum. A lot of the things on there are my life now - lack of spontaneity with trips as we constantly have to think about the cats even down to a spontaneous night out after work, being woken up at 6 am and every other blooming day of the week, the constantness of things - scoop litter trays, feeding, playing with them etc

Having DC is bloody hard. But AIBU to think that maybe the transition might be just a tad easier if you already have pets such as cats or dogs?

OP posts:
AnyWalls · 14/03/2019 11:11

Put it this way. If you're this way with cats, you are going to find the transition to parenthood very hard.

FizzyGreenWater · 14/03/2019 11:11

Um no.

Have also had demanding cats.

There is absolutely no comparison!

BloodyDisgrace · 14/03/2019 11:12

No, not for me. I can see how cats (if you love them) can improve your mood and general sense of emotional wellbeing - although it is not the main reason to have them - but I can also clearly see how having children will fuck up my life. Besides, I never heard of anyone rehoming their kid.

DonDadaOnTheDownLow · 14/03/2019 11:13

It's something I noticed with my peers - especially those in the equestrian community. They all seemed to cope so much better because they were used to putting the needs of others first.

Mookatron · 14/03/2019 11:14

I suppose it depends on the layout of your house! We shut our kittens in the kitchen at night but then again we had kids at the time so maybe I was up at 6 anyway. Can't remember.

I think the main difference between pets and kids is not only the exhaustion but the overall life-changing responsibility of it all. That's what you don't get with pets - not to anywhere near the same degree anyway.

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 14/03/2019 11:15

My parents have a demanding bengal cat now though... DM says thank god she'd already had a toddler; it made the arrival of a needy, noisy, velcro-clingy destructive dictator who wees on things, wants to play with you all the time and has taken over the house with toys far less of a shock to the system!Grin

Original poster
Bobcatcornea · 14/03/2019 11:18

Put it this way. If you're this way with cats, you are going to find the transition to parenthood very hard.

@AnyWalls can you please explain to me why you think that?

OP posts:
PCohle · 14/03/2019 11:19

God no.

If you really wanted to go for a night out after work and leave the cat alone you absolutely could. You absolutely couldn't with a baby.

Even if you choose not to, the fact that you have a choice makes all the difference in the world.

I hope you read this thread back when you have a baby Grin

ChampooPapi · 14/03/2019 11:20

My mother has her kittens wake her up at 6 then compares it to me and my 1 year old Hmm

It irks me because its her being a martye, when we got kittens as children we just shut them in the kitchen until we came down at 7 so she's got a short memory.

She likes to feel like she is putting them first I guess, it's a ego massage really because it it NOTHING like having a baby Grin and beside feeding animals and letting them out anything else is really a choice isn't it?

With children the choice element is gone, you have to do it (it being everything)

Original poster
Bobcatcornea · 14/03/2019 11:20

If you really wanted to go for a night out after work and leave the cat alone you absolutely could.

So the cats are supposed to go 24 hours if not more if staying out between feeds?

OP posts:
ChampooPapi · 14/03/2019 11:22

You can get machines to feed animals, i think this would be frowned upon for a todler

LipstickTaserrr · 14/03/2019 11:22

If you spend most of each 24 hr period stuck breastfeeding your cat then yes maybe Grin

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 14/03/2019 11:23

24 hours out of the house for a night out after work? You must have some fun, can I come with you? Grin

"Or you are constantly feeling judged when your cat has a tantrum in Tesco because the brioche was out of stock" I think we share a cat WinkGrin

Fiveredbricks · 14/03/2019 11:24

Having a dog I took everywhere with me certainly helped us a lot. Apart from being quite unwell after birth and the sleep depravation, I've found the actual parenting bit very easy. I think a lot of that is because our dog prepared us for having commitments.

TheHolySmirk · 14/03/2019 11:25

The thing you're not getting Bobcatcornea is that the cats absolutely could be left.

They'd actually be fine.

Children are all encompassing. You can't just leave them, let them out, leave them alone as babies/toddlers, go to work and leave them shut in the house/chuck them into the garden.

If you fuck them up as babies/children, you could end up with a really damaged adult.

Not just a cat who moves in with the neighbours.

Original poster
Bobcatcornea · 14/03/2019 11:25

24 hours out of the house for a night out after work? You must have some fun, can I come with you?

Haha no I meant say they get fed at 6 / 6:30 am, I go to work then decide on a night out. I have to stay out in a hotel as I can't get back home from the nearest big town or city so by the time I get back in the morning I'd have been out of the house more than 24 hours.

OP posts:
ChampooPapi · 14/03/2019 11:26

A lot of cats are over fed , food can be left out for them as well and if they eat it all in the morning so be it until the evening, they will survive.

They also can always go scavenging outside (or round the many neighbors who keep cats also for their cat food)

We are all animals but cats are especially good at surviving with the bare minimal, it is our choice to do above and beyond for them. Essentially they wouldn't think twice about stepping over our dead bodies for a piece of cheese Grin

WakeUpFromYourDreamAndScream · 14/03/2019 11:26

Don't be ridiculous. Having a child is fuck all like having a pet

coconutpie · 14/03/2019 11:27

Where is that thread on all things bad about being a mum? Don't recall seeing it.

Oh and having a pet in no way makes you more prepared for DC. They are not the same! I know some people say that their pets are their babies and they might think they are the same but they are not. Not in a million years.

Original poster
Bobcatcornea · 14/03/2019 11:27

is that the cats absolutely could be left.

I'm pretty sure not feeding your cat unexpectedly for more than 24 hours especially at 3 months old doesn't mean they're fine Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
Bobcatcornea · 14/03/2019 11:28

Where is that thread on all things bad about being a mum? Don't recall seeing it.

It's under Relationships I think.

@WakeUpFromYourDreamAndScream is there any need to be rude?

OP posts:
Original poster
Bobcatcornea · 14/03/2019 11:29

A lot of cats are over fed , food can be left out for them as well and if they eat it all in the morning so be it until the evening, they will survive.
The point is they wouldn't have had any extra food left out if it was a spontaneous night out.

They also can always go scavenging outside (or round the many neighbors who keep cats also for their cat food)

At 3 months old no they can't

OP posts:
ChampooPapi · 14/03/2019 11:30

Not at 3 months but by 5/6 months they can, children cant go scavenging until 18 years Smile

Original poster
Bobcatcornea · 14/03/2019 11:36

Not at 3 months but by 5/6 months they can, children cant go scavenging until 18 years

Not if they're indoor cats Smile

OP posts:
Celebelly · 14/03/2019 11:36

We leave the cats for an entire weekend sometimes! They get left plenty of food and water. I can't say the cats have really changed our lifestyle at all. If we want to go away for any length of time we just get someone to come in and feed them.

The dog is more of a 'bind' in that regard, but we tend to do most things with her anyway. A young baby is really portable anyway. I just pop DD in the sling and we can go anywhere and she just sleeps - cafes, walks, etc. I suppose our lifestyle had altered in that we can't have whole days out without the dog or short notice holidays, but we never really did stuff like that much anyway. In terms of the actual day to day care, I don't think having a dog has made having a baby any easier. In some respects it's more difficult, although our dog is very laid back thankfully.