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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Worst £££ you've ever spent on trying to pull / dating / sex toys??

35 replies

Shamoogren · 13/03/2019 18:06

Off the back of the other thread where one poster didn't check the measurements of a vibrator and ended up with something 'like a traffic cone and totally unusable' Grin

Mine would have to be the fluffy handcuffs that exdp couldn't unlock. Needed a hammer eventually

Any other gems??

OP posts:
OpiesOldLady · 13/03/2019 18:08

Nah, I've never bought a sex toy that wasn't worth every penny - tbh though I usually make my own.

Original poster
Shamoogren · 13/03/2019 18:14

Don't know what to say to that!!

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 13/03/2019 18:15

You make your own sex toys? That takes crafting to a whole new level.

OpiesOldLady · 13/03/2019 18:21

Not necessarily - more ingenuity and imagination. DP is good at woodwork and we've made things to enhance th BDSM side of our sex life - think spankers/crosses/gags etc.

bsc · 13/03/2019 18:26

Gosh, Opies, do you get to talk to friends about your hobby much? Grin
Pretty niche...

OpiesOldLady · 13/03/2019 18:34

Aye, a bit. Lots of my friends are in the LS too.

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 13/03/2019 18:39

Not my own £ but one ex bf bought mint lube. It didn't just tingle it fucking BURNT me. The "sex napalm" went straight in the bin.

My own cash... probably some really shit restraints. I can get out of them too easily and they're cheap and nasty. Also any cheap vibrator. I stick to Lelos or rabbits now!

TakenForSlanted · 13/03/2019 18:44

Second the lube situation. I have no recollection of whether it was mint or some other ingredient. It was meant to make you feel tingly, anyway.

In all fairness, it was hot sex. Hot as in: involving the rubbing of chili peppers against your sensitive bits.

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 13/03/2019 19:04

@TakenforSlanted I've accidentally chili'd my self before as well. The mint was worse no amount of cash would entice a repeat! Grin

Absofuckinglutely · 13/03/2019 19:04

Slightly worried I have a really boring sex life reading this thread......

Purplejay · 13/03/2019 19:08

Trying to pull?

Are you a 17 yo boy from 1990?

User07734 · 13/03/2019 19:09

Not my own £ but one ex bf bought mint lube. It didn't just tingle it fucking BURNT me. The "sex napalm" went straight in the bin

Ooh I used the sex napalm too. Burnt my vagina clean off it did. Not sure how it made it past the development stage that one.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=RF0HhrwIwp0

User07734 · 13/03/2019 19:11

Are you a 17 yo boy from 1990?

When did MN get so miserable? Go on Op change your op to "trying to meet someone to make luuurve^

SrSteveOskowski · 13/03/2019 19:12

Never mind the sex napalm. Original Source tea tree & mint shower gel has the same effect!

iklboo · 13/03/2019 19:16

Not sex related but I went to the loos in a cafe once and there was no toilet roll. Ooh, luckily I have a packet of tissues, I thought.

They were Olbas Oil tissues

Easterbunnyiscomingsoon · 13/03/2019 19:19

Bet Hobbycraft doesn't have an appropriate section for the making of sex toys!

User07734 · 13/03/2019 19:28

im tempted to make a giant papier mache dong.

Islands81 · 13/03/2019 19:38

Oh Jesus many years ago I made the mistake of the tingly lube too. 2 mins later and me and my ex were literally fighting over the shower head with our genitals on fire.

Slippiepippie · 13/03/2019 19:42

These are brilliant

I would've had a really dirty mind years ago and still probably do but dont act like that and sex is fairly vanilla as i get nervous still and feel ashamed for some reason.

Kinda off topic but reminds me of one time i brought home a one night stand and he made me put a bandana around his eyes and said, 'surprise me and do whatever you want'

I froze and literally just started to suck his dick..

Wtf was i supposed to do?! I absolutely froze!

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 13/03/2019 21:33

@iklboo that must have been a surprise! Hope it didn't last too long!

@Slippiepippie I think very few people are confident on the spot like that, especially not knowing someone's boundaries, I think you probably got it right with a blow job!

The worst money I've spent on pulling someone was probably the combined nights out spend to basically see this person (it went no where, thankfully, with hindsight). The biggest wastes of my own time/dumbest things I've done for guys are shave my arms Hmm and VERY risky sex at his work. I care about those more than the money as well. Although I definitely learnt from the experiences, so they paid off.

OpiesOldLady · 13/03/2019 21:34

@slippiepippie - I think you probably did just the right thing tbh! When in doubt, drop to your knees and open your mouth Wink

DarthLipgloss · 13/03/2019 21:42

@OpiesOldLady we do this! Only my DP makes us things out of leather! (He has Etsy shop) I have a better selection of collars than Pets at Home...

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 13/03/2019 21:47

If I made my own dildos I would totally spread the diy joy via Etsy. I think I'd call it knobbycraft.

Fiveredbricks · 13/03/2019 21:48

I once spent £120 on a pair of calfskin over the knee boots as a guy I was sort of seeing adores/d them and I planned on wearing them for him.

They're sat in my wardrobe never worn, probably now musty, my legs are too fat now and I never got the chance to model them :(

Now I think about it, I spent a lot on things to impress him and never got the chance to :( I feel very sad now.

SausageAndEgg · 13/03/2019 21:53

Absolutely agree with the mint line. It was horrific.