Worst £££ you've ever spent on trying to pull / dating / sex toys??

[Shamoogren]

Off the back of the other thread where one poster didn't check the measurements of a vibrator and ended up with something 'like a traffic cone and totally unusable'

Mine would have to be the fluffy handcuffs that exdp couldn't unlock. Needed a hammer eventually

Any other gems??

[DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops]

@whatamidoingwithmylife I once forgot to pop my butt plug back away in the bag I stash it in within my sex drawer (I live in a house share so it's all extra well stashed just in case). The guy I was in bed with for the first time got a surprise when he reached in there for a condom! He yelped, said I should have warned him and laughed it off.

[LikeYouSaid]

Spent what felt like a small fortune on sexy underwear / lingerie / ‘sexy games’ for a guy I was casually seeing. He dumped me a few days after they arrived

[whatamidoingwithmylife]

This monster (hopefully the pic has attached). Saw it on Ann Summers website, thought it looked like a decent cock ring - when it turned up it was fucking huge!! It's bigger than my whole hand and quite impossible to have between us. Total waste of about £40.
My ex left me with custody of it when we split so now it only comes out to have a laugh at when new partners want a peek in 'the sex drawer'.

Also wasted were the bed restraints costing £60 years ago which came in the most vile box with some woman spreading herself and showing off that dodgy fake tan style showing white underwear lines that was popular about 20yrs ago.
Numerous outfits that never got worn plus tons of lingerie and bondage stuff for a pervy bloke I was seeing for a while. I shoulda made him pay for all the stuff I was expected to purchase to make him happy.

[DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops]

Mint lube ex then bought (edible) cherry lube. That was a waste because he bought it whilst I was away, tried a lick out of curiosity, liked it and somehow consumed most of the bottle!

[Shamoogren]

I once grabbed some loccitane Foot cream as lube. I'm not sure how to describe it, but it has some kind of non slip ingredient in it which was ruinous!

[Shamoogren]

knobbycraft

And @boomtish comedy gold

[BoomTish]

^my bottom tuft

[BoomTish]

@ Knobbycraft

Never mind the sex napalm. Original Source tea tree & mint shower gel has the same effect!

I once Naired by bottom tuft and hopped in the shower to wash the cream off. Proceeded to wash my head hair. All good. Shaved my pits. Time passed. Grabbed a shower mitt, squirted on a bit of the old Teatree and Mint and unwittingly applies it right to my newly depilated arsehole.

[OpiesOldLady]

Ooohh Darth, does he make floggers by any chance? I've been meaning to get DP a lovely quality flogger for a while now, a really nice weighted one with plenty of thud in it - if so can you post or pm me your etsy link please?

[SausageAndEgg]

Sorry, mint lube*

[SausageAndEgg]

Absolutely agree with the mint line. It was horrific.

[Fiveredbricks]

I once spent £120 on a pair of calfskin over the knee boots as a guy I was sort of seeing adores/d them and I planned on wearing them for him.

They're sat in my wardrobe never worn, probably now musty, my legs are too fat now and I never got the chance to model them :(

Now I think about it, I spent a lot on things to impress him and never got the chance to :( I feel very sad now.

[DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops]

If I made my own dildos I would totally spread the diy joy via Etsy. I think I'd call it knobbycraft.

[DarthLipgloss]

@OpiesOldLady we do this! Only my DP makes us things out of leather! (He has Etsy shop) I have a better selection of collars than Pets at Home...

[OpiesOldLady]

@slippiepippie - I think you probably did just the right thing tbh! When in doubt, drop to your knees and open your mouth

[DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops]

@iklboo that must have been a surprise! Hope it didn't last too long!

@Slippiepippie I think very few people are confident on the spot like that, especially not knowing someone's boundaries, I think you probably got it right with a blow job!

The worst money I've spent on pulling someone was probably the combined nights out spend to basically see this person (it went no where, thankfully, with hindsight). The biggest wastes of my own time/dumbest things I've done for guys are shave my arms and VERY risky sex at his work. I care about those more than the money as well. Although I definitely learnt from the experiences, so they paid off.

[Slippiepippie]

These are brilliant

I would've had a really dirty mind years ago and still probably do but dont act like that and sex is fairly vanilla as i get nervous still and feel ashamed for some reason.

Kinda off topic but reminds me of one time i brought home a one night stand and he made me put a bandana around his eyes and said, 'surprise me and do whatever you want'

I froze and literally just started to suck his dick..

Wtf was i supposed to do?! I absolutely froze!

[Islands81]

Oh Jesus many years ago I made the mistake of the tingly lube too. 2 mins later and me and my ex were literally fighting over the shower head with our genitals on fire.

[User07734]

im tempted to make a giant papier mache dong.

[Easterbunnyiscomingsoon]

Bet Hobbycraft doesn't have an appropriate section for the making of sex toys!

[iklboo]

Not sex related but I went to the loos in a cafe once and there was no toilet roll. Ooh, luckily I have a packet of tissues, I thought.

They were Olbas Oil tissues

[SrSteveOskowski]

Never mind the sex napalm. Original Source tea tree & mint shower gel has the same effect!

[User07734]

Are you a 17 yo boy from 1990?

When did MN get so miserable? Go on Op change your op to "trying to meet someone to make luuurve^

[User07734]

Not my own £ but one ex bf bought mint lube. It didn't just tingle it fucking BURNT me. The "sex napalm" went straight in the bin

Ooh I used the sex napalm too. Burnt my vagina clean off it did. Not sure how it made it past the development stage that one.



m.youtube.com/watch?v=RF0HhrwIwp0

[Purplejay]

Trying to pull?

Are you a 17 yo boy from 1990?