Worst £££ you've ever spent on trying to pull / dating / sex toys??

[Shamoogren]

Off the back of the other thread where one poster didn't check the measurements of a vibrator and ended up with something 'like a traffic cone and totally unusable'

Mine would have to be the fluffy handcuffs that exdp couldn't unlock. Needed a hammer eventually

Any other gems??

Sorry, mint lube*

Ooohh Darth, does he make floggers by any chance? I've been meaning to get DP a lovely quality flogger for a while now, a really nice weighted one with plenty of thud in it - if so can you post or pm me your etsy link please?

@ Knobbycraft

Never mind the sex napalm. Original Source tea tree & mint shower gel has the same effect!

I once Naired by bottom tuft and hopped in the shower to wash the cream off. Proceeded to wash my head hair. All good. Shaved my pits. Time passed. Grabbed a shower mitt, squirted on a bit of the old Teatree and Mint and unwittingly applies it right to my newly depilated arsehole.

^my bottom tuft

knobbycraft

And @boomtish comedy gold

I once grabbed some loccitane Foot cream as lube. I'm not sure how to describe it, but it has some kind of non slip ingredient in it which was ruinous!

Mint lube ex then bought (edible) cherry lube. That was a waste because he bought it whilst I was away, tried a lick out of curiosity, liked it and somehow consumed most of the bottle!

This monster (hopefully the pic has attached). Saw it on Ann Summers website, thought it looked like a decent cock ring - when it turned up it was fucking huge!! It's bigger than my whole hand and quite impossible to have between us. Total waste of about £40.
My ex left me with custody of it when we split so now it only comes out to have a laugh at when new partners want a peek in 'the sex drawer'.

Also wasted were the bed restraints costing £60 years ago which came in the most vile box with some woman spreading herself and showing off that dodgy fake tan style showing white underwear lines that was popular about 20yrs ago.
Numerous outfits that never got worn plus tons of lingerie and bondage stuff for a pervy bloke I was seeing for a while. I shoulda made him pay for all the stuff I was expected to purchase to make him happy.

Spent what felt like a small fortune on sexy underwear / lingerie / ‘sexy games’ for a guy I was casually seeing. He dumped me a few days after they arrived

@whatamidoingwithmylife I once forgot to pop my butt plug back away in the bag I stash it in within my sex drawer (I live in a house share so it's all extra well stashed just in case). The guy I was in bed with for the first time got a surprise when he reached in there for a condom! He yelped, said I should have warned him and laughed it off.