To ask you about the times your brain has completely betrayed you and made you look a fool!

[SweetMangoPie]

I've just very nearly told a client I loved them at the end of a phone call because I'm so used to saying it to DH and now I feel all flustered.

I regularly have little brain farts like this. Quite often if I'm waiting on hold for someone to pick up the phone at work I end up drifting off and when they do finally pick up, I answer as if they've called me.. 'Good afternoon, SweetMangos Workplace, Can I help?' ... Cue awkward silence.

Tell me some of your stupid brain moments!

I went to a pub quiz when I was about 36 weeks pregnant and there was a bonus question on Roman numerals that was worth 10 points and would probably win the quiz for us. I couldn’t answer it despite the fact that I have a degree in Classics

Once introduced myself to a work colleague by saying Hi, I’m Kath. I’m not, and my name is nothing like Kath, I have no idea what the hell I was thinking! Luckily it was a big office and she was in another department so I didn’t have to see her very often.

I once tried to zoom in on magazine I was reading as the font was a bit small and I thought it was like an ipad 😊

Once i was having cbt it was my first session and i had spent 90 minutes getting along famously with the councillor. When i went to leave she leaned over to open the door I thought she was doing the mwah mwah cheek kiss thingy so i planted one on her . Whenever i watch that episode of friends where it happens to Rachel i die a little inside.

My friends and family often like to remind me of the time my brain fart traumatised DD when she was little!

I'm on the autistic spectrum and often say things back to front, everyone who deals with me gets used to it but this one i've never lived down

Every night when i put the kids to bed i proudly announce "Love you forever! Goodnight!" and close the door (into complete darkness as that's how they fall asleep)

Unfortunately when DD was younger i very adamantly announced "Love you! Goodnight forever!" and closed the door Poor DD i had to go back in and explain i wasn't going anywhere other than bed and promise her repeatedly she would wake up in the morning

I was leaving a voicemail for someone connected to work and I said 'stop, new paragraph' at the end of a sentence thinking I was dictating 🥴

Fedup that’s made me proper snort with laughter

People have been asking me all week if I have anything special planned for the weekend and I have spent the week saying no, and looking more and more mystified - until about noon today when I remembered it's St. Patrick's day weekend.

The weekend when the Irish are supposed to have something planned. Or at least remember when it happens...

[oh the shame]

I was chairing a meeting where there were about 10 people in the room and more people dialling in. I started going around the room listing all the people there so the people on the phone knew who was in attendance. I got to one woman who I’d worked with for about two years and my mind went completely blank and I had to say ‘sorry I’ve completely forgotten your name’. Now I write everyone’s name down as they enter the room.

Been waiting for a company's PA to call to book and appt for my elderly dad.

Missed a call yesterday, scrabbling about for phone when it rang today, and accidentally declined rather than picking up the call.

Exclaimed "Oh FUCK IT!!!" only to hear a voice at the other end..."Hello...?"

consultant's PA

I'm a nurse in forensic healthcare working with often hardcore incarcerated criminals.
We request urine samples for random drug testing and this particular inmate was giving me grief about giving me one.
We were going backwards and forwards until I (who was the mother of two toddlers at the time) said in a tired, exasperated voice "Look, just do a wee wee for mummy. Please!"

He did one.

Oh my days I have had such a crappy week or so and this thread has really made me laugh!

Dd is in Year 8 at secondary school. Last week I emailed her primary school about a lost PE kit. The lovely admin ladies just replied “wrong school - we haven’t seen her or her PE kit in years ”.

I also emailed admin, this time at the right school at least, about something else. Only I emailed about dd in form 7A (my own form, at the school where I teach). Had to send another email straight after saying sorry, dd is actually in form 8B.

Before Christmas, I was on the phone with an organisation and had to give my address .... it wasnt my address....,

I knew it wasnt as it came out but then had to backtrack as the person on the phone stifled their laughter and asked was it my old address,

Nope, I never lived there, I've never been there and no idea who lived there and so I had given a totally random address instead of mine.

It was great fun explaining I have been in this house for 3 years, this town for 12 and a general area for over 25.

I couldn't remember my dd's date of birth when registering at a play group recently.

Something I was told a few years ago: when you're being tormented with recollections of accidentally embarrassing things you've done, consider how infrequently you reminisce about the accidentally embarrassing actions of others, then consider how hard it is to even remember exactly what happened, if you can remember at all.

"The reminds me of the time DH came home and went to get the milk out of the fridge and said... 'why is the iron in the fridge?' (I was one week post-partum)" sleep deprivations a bastard.

Ex around same point managed to make himself a mix of tea & hot choc in same mug, even when he tasted he wasn't quite sure what was wrong that's how knackered he was!

Off topic but I LOVE this phrase "he wore his authority lightly" I've had a lot of bosses and a few of them could've learned this.

"I went to a pub quiz when I was about 36 weeks pregnant and there was a bonus question on Roman numerals that was worth 10 points and would probably win the quiz for us. I couldn’t answer it despite the fact that I have a degree in Classics" oh god! I've had that happen! Answer to the question was "James Joyce" the relevant degree? English! Went completely blank!

It's the "all eyes on me" that threw me I think! I'd managed the previous question which was on sport - in which I have pretty much NO interest but was married to a sports mad person so happened to know this one (it related to his rugby team) difference of course nobody expected me to know that one.

I was putting my trolley back at the supermarket once when a man came rushing up to give me a pound in exchange for the trolley. I said 'sorry I've got a trolley token' 'oh sorry' says the man, to which I replied 'tut trust you!' 🤔 as if this was a long standing joke between me and this total stranger

When a client asked me where I lived and I'd been so focussed on what I'd been presenting to him that I couldn't remember...and I actually said "I can't remember" with a big grin on my face.

I'm still cringing.

This one is not funny and I die a bit inside every time I remember it. I once asked a good friend how her sister was doing (serious long term illness). Her sister had died a couple of years previously. I had attended the funeral.

I regularly get my children's date of birth wrong. They are born in the same month so I get that right, but days and years...nope

Some years ago after being diagnosed with a health condition I went to the hospital for my checkup.
On arriving - with my letter - I went to the reception desk to check in, but they couldn't find me in the appointments.There was a bit of a stand off as I insisted I had one, and they insisted I didn't - to the point I waved my letter at them to 'prove' I was right.
After reading it, the very kind receptionist gently pointed out that not only had I gone for my appointment on the wrong day, I was at the wrong hospital!

I worked in a place with several floors do I needed to use a tannoy to locate people. I was also receptionist so answered the telephones.

One morning I was so flustered I shouted over the tannoy instead of answering the phone so shouted to a whole building " good morning diary's workplace" several members of staff started calling me to say "good morning"I was mortified.

I once introduced a good friend of over 10 years to someone saying, "and this is my friend, Lucy". Her name isn't Lucy!

She laughed and obviously corrected me while I muttered, "where did that come from? I don't even know anyone called Lucy", when my friend chipped in again, "yes you do!" As I had totally forgotten another friend I socialised with frequently