To ask you about the times your brain has completely betrayed you and made you look a fool!

[SweetMangoPie]

I've just very nearly told a client I loved them at the end of a phone call because I'm so used to saying it to DH and now I feel all flustered.

I regularly have little brain farts like this. Quite often if I'm waiting on hold for someone to pick up the phone at work I end up drifting off and when they do finally pick up, I answer as if they've called me.. 'Good afternoon, SweetMangos Workplace, Can I help?' ... Cue awkward silence.

Tell me some of your stupid brain moments!

I wanted to ask my manager if we had any security tags, had a brain fart as I started speaking and ended up asking if we had any of 'the things that go beep beep beep if someone is stealing'

My personal favourite was when on the phone I said “J for...erm ...erm... Geoff” blush. Client was hmm

I take it you do realise J can stand for Jeff, as in Jeffrey Archer?

I frequently say ‘over’ at the end of a sentence on the phone. So used to saying it on the radio at work, people must think I’m mad. On the plus side I’m very good at the phonetic alphabet.😆

I wrote an email to me boss and for some reason signed it off ‘Lots of love, EjectorCrab’. It was so embarrassing. But he was very sweet about it.
Worse though. I accidentally held a stranger’s hand thinking he was my husband. I was looking through a shop window and thought the man stood next to me was my husband, and I slipped my hand into his. Mortifying!

I’ve nearly signed off a work text or email with xxx which is how I end those to DH or DS

I don't have one but these always remind me of Angela Hernandez Still makes me weep laughing thinking about the poor MNetter stood in front of a room full of people.

I’ve blocked my bank card, at the pub after a 12 hour shift at the hospital. I kept putting the porters extension number into the machine instead of my PIN number.

About 40 years ago (yep, I still cringe) I went to the dentist and said to receptionist 'I've an appointment' instead of asking my name she said 'Millimollimandi or Gaynor Smith' and I said 'Gaynor Smith' and went and sat down. Then realised. What do I do - ignore it and when they called gaynor smith just ignore it and bluff it out 'why would I say I'm gaynor smith when I am millimollimandi?' in mock outrage or fess up? I went back and said 'I think I said I was gaynor smith - in fact I'm millimollimandi' and then the receptionsist spent the next 20 mins looking like I was a loony bin escapee.... More recently I was doing a sweepstake at work and collecting the money. Took it off one woman and COULD NOT remember her name. I had worked with her for 15 years... she had to tell me. And the look on her face said 'senile dementia'...

After this sort of thing happened to me constantly I realised I don't look like a fool, I am one

English is my second language and sometimes I forget the most ever basic words.
So I once publicly declared at work that "I need to buy new... Erm... You know... Erm... Big cold cupboard you put milk in thing... Erm..."

Spelled something to an operator while on a bus. V now stands for a virgin. People around giggled. Also Z is for Zorro. Even customers appreciate that one

@MooChops89

I had a similar thing. A few years ago I was on the PTA and had to do some thank you presentations to the teachers at the end of year assembly. I was a bit nervous as I don't like being in front of so many people. The first teacher that came up leant in and I thought she was going to hug me (I knew her out of school too, so just didn't think). She was actually leaning forward a bit to shake my hand. I had to hug ALL the teachers because the next one obviously assumed that's what we were doing and opened her arms... Couldn't really not do it after that as the one after that I didn't like and it would have seemed like I was snubbing her. I was mortified!

I'm perimenopausal so it's an every-day occurrence atm for me. I mean who forgets words?

Also Z is for Zorro. Even customers appreciate that one.

That's awesome! When on the phone to family members (or call centres in my case) if we have to do phonetics we try to make them as long and/or obscure as possible, it's like a game! I don't believe I've heard anyone play "Zorro" before so I'll be filing that one for future use.

My car was being taken for a service and a guy had come to collect it. He held out his hand and I was a bit puzzled so shook it. He said "Eh, I need the keys!" And continued holding his hand out for them. I pointed to his other hand that had my keys in them. I'm sure we both walked away from that feeling like twats!

I take it you do realise J can stand for Jeff, as in Jeffrey Archer?

Yes, which is why I thought of it . It was only when I put the phone down that I realised why the person I was speaking to sounded so confused!

I once missed the "o" out of the word County in an email to a ceo of a organisation which had county in its name... It was definitely a Freudian slip

Having a conversation about TVs with my brother last night, I described "the sticky thing that the telly sticks to on the wall" aka bracket

the other day, the wishy washy thing in the kitchen commonly known by normal people as a washing machine that you have to put tablets in and pour stuff in drawer, could I get the words washing machine not on your nelly

This is a daily thing, I lose so many words

At work this morning i kept referring to cucumbers as carrots 🥕 luckily all my customers did get their cucumbers 🥒 despite what i kept calling them 😂

When I was selling my house I was chatting to a viewer and forgot the word for "ceilings". Was trying to draw his attention to the high "flat things that hold the walls up" 🙄

Years ago when I was married to my first husband we needed some bits from the supermarket. Dd was a baby and fell asleep so I said “you go park and I’ll run in.” I dashed round trying to be quick. Came out saw a man waiting in a car and jumped in and started chatting. Looks up and it wasn’t my husband ! The poor old mans face was a picture. Best bit was the car was completely different to our car. I died a little that day.

I often go into autopilot when I make phone calls.
Hi I'm Oysterbabe calling from Big Twatty Company. Can I speak to....... dad please.

I have got it into my head that N in the alpha bravo alphabet stands for Knickers.
This has confused various call-centre people.

The IT department rang me once to ask who my immediate manager was and I couldn't remember. I was silent for 30 seconds and then just put the phone down.
It took me an hour to remember.
But to be fair I am menopausal.

I started a new job recently and we had an initial day with all staff. We were divided into two groups, cant say specific job title but for example chef and cashier. We went round introducing ourselves and I introduced myself as 'sparkleandsleep and I'm a chef... no sorry, I'm not, I'm a cashier'. I've been doing my job for many years so no idea why I got it mixed up 😳

I have thought of more, Signing for a delivery at work and was asked my initial, but all I could think of was the phonic sound not the normal adult letter name, but I knew it was the wrong thing to say so I just stood there like a twat for about 30 seconds looking like I didn't know my own name.
Forgot what fire engines were called, they are now known as fire ambulances.