To ask what's so great about private school

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So my friend was privately educated, and so was her partner. They put their school aged children in a very prestigious private school but then had to take them out and move in with her parents. I don't quite know what happened but I think they overstretches themselves financially.
Now her two children are happily settled into the local state school but she still insists that she will be moving them back to private school in the future. My question is why would you decide to do this if you can't really afford to?
I was state school educated from a single parent family and went to a terrible primary school, but I have great memories. My friend and I actually do the same job, we are both admin assistants on a few quid more than minimum wage. I don't think that her private education has actually benefited her at all.
I tried to ask her what exactly she felt that a private education gave you that a state education didn't. She used the example of writers visiting the school, inspiring children to write and improve literacy. I have a creative writing degree, nothing would have prevented me from writing stories, it's all I've ever wanted to do since I learnt to write. My best friend has a 2:1 degree in Literature from Oxford, she also went to a state school in a 'deprived area' and was raised by a single mum.
I honestly don't understand what a private education gets you apart from possibly helping you to make contacts. It's certainly not more important than trying to buy your own home, in my eyes.
Fully expecting to get flamed.

DSil/Bil scrimped to put their two kids through private school due to the appalling behaviour at the local state school - kids throwing desks/chairs around, abusing teachers, bullying etc. It was all about keeping their kids safe, and ensuring they were at school in an environment where their classmates wanted to learn and discipline existed.

DSil/Bil scrimped to put their two kids through private school due to the appalling behaviour at the local state school - kids throwing desks/chairs around, abusing teachers, bullying etc. It was all about keeping their kids safe, and ensuring they were at school in an environment where their classmates wanted to learn and discipline existed.

Basically people don’t want their kids educated around the offspring of the criminal underclass.

Private education gives you nothing more than public school except bragging rights

And I note she didn't comment on the rather serious dick pic incident at ds's private school that was covered up by the school

Which is indicative of nothing more than a failing on the part of one school, much like the example the other poster made.

Or rather “allegedly” made.

It so very much depends on the school. Private doesn't mean that it is better academically. Can't see the point of non selective private schools. I now work in an excellent private school and both our sons were privately educated but before the time I worked in education. I had experienced working in the state secondary school that they would have gone to. It was appalling. Students were rude, rowdy and staff seemed disinterested. We went to visit local private schools which were a world apart. Friendly staff, polite pupils. We always assumed we would send them to state primary then private secondary and started off that route but because we worked very unsocial hours we found the private school much more accommodating and customer friendly so they ended up private all the way through. I think the main difference is that good private schools assume that students will do well. There is usually a massively better choice of extra curricular activities and extremely good support when applying for university. Of course all this can be found if you are lucky enough to attend a good state school. I would do it again although it cost a lot of money and both boys would like to educate any future children privately although they realise it is unlikely.

Private education gives you nothing more than public school except bragging rights
Maybe in the US.

Some smaller private schools are struggling financially (as in the state sector) so are more likely to also take less academically 'gifted' pupils as they would like, money being a primary driver as it were? A local private school has been reported in the local press to be selling off some buildings, making redundancies etc to reduce costs. I think however that private schools seem to focus on achievements of pupils, offering prizes on Speech Day and the winners on sports days, state schools such as my children's school were focusing on the participation not the achievements, and I must admit I did think that unfortunately real life is not like that , especially in the current job market where there is stiff competition for employment

“Can't see the point of non selective private schools.”

All private schools are selective.

After the battle I have faced with my sons school to get him any help for his sen, I don't blame anyone for putting their kids into private school. The small class sizes alone would ensure your child got more help

I'm interested in why anyone judges a private school on what job you have as a result. That's quite shallow! Not everyone chooses the private school for the outcome - they choose it for the system, the breadth of education and the quality of their time at school. I've had DCs at both, but now both private. They aren't particularly sporty, but I like the fact they having many hours a week outdoors - playing sport increases their health and wellbeing, teaches about teamwork and builds healthy habits for the future.
I like that the children have more attention, good facilities and lots of variety in activities to build their confidence. I hope they get great jobs, but it is more important to be happy. It's an investment in them, not their future career.

I find our local private school offers a more traditional education - similar to the one that I experienced when I was at state school many years ago. Bullying is stamped on immediately. I didn't like the state school system as a parent - the SATS, the lack of genuine sport, the patronising tone of the letters home and the lack of accountability. There are good and bad in both sectors, but I prefer being a 'client' even if it means I forgo a holiday.

Not strictly true........

Oh and the lack of nits! That has to be a bonus.

No sexting. No nits. A positive Shangri La!

Oh come Bertrand it was funny and true!

I just wonder if it's parents instilling this confidence rather than the school.

A supply teacher told me today that the state secondary my children will probably end up at are running some maths lessons where one teacher is split between 2 classes one day a week. How that is even allowed or acceptable I don’t know. But it’s a failing school and they can’t attract permanent maths teachers. I don’t know who supervises the other class presumably a HLTA but god how rubbish. The school also finishes early on a Friday. If state schools are underfunded and understaffed it’s completely understandable why people choose private education.

DS's school get the credit for his confidence. He has autism and was probably the least likely candidate for a lead role in the nativity. They gave him one. He refused. I told them I really didn't see how we could get him to do it. They said they really thought they could support him through along with us. They thought it was important for him. I really didn't think it would happen. He sang an entire solo with all the actions bang on. I cried my eyes out. He beamed with pride. There is no way he'd have had that opportunity in our local state school. He'd just have been left out. So for us, it's been worth every penny.

No nits 😂😂😂

I agree with what a PP said about some independent schools offering an education that I recognise, less pressured and teachers able to teach rather than obsess over SATs. Obviously not all Indies are like that and I’m clearly not describing a South London prep here, but it suits DS.

No personal experiences count where certain posters are involved. Unless they fit with a certain narrative

Private schools can't filter out much in human nature to be honest. But the different basis of it ie parents paying I guess puts it on different footing run as a business. You could have low expectations for students but you aren't going to be in business long.

Fucket some schools have remained crap whoever has been in government. The problem is more than just money.

It's catching DC who have capability but issue's at home before the set backs begin.

To generalise, a private education buys exclusivity, contacts and confidence. Smaller class sizes, better facilities and better exposure to extracurricular activities. (Ski trips, cricket trips to the West Indies, rugby in South Africa etc.)

It’s also a social status.

Not being from the UK, I’ve always found it a bit strange but it hasn’t stopped me from buying into it.

iris anon

Definitely about quality of life for some without a doubt. Life is fragile and short.
If I could afford to put my DC into beautiful old ivy clad building in small classes with happy teachers I would.

Delilah I think top top schools like Eton buy contacts but not every school will.

Comps do skiing trips.

I know plenty of private school DC with no confidence.

I do believe confidence comes from home.