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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think that children should know their full name by Y11?

108 replies

PurplePenguins · 12/03/2019 18:58

I've just had parents evening at DS3s school. At the same time was a GCSE check in. Y11 pupils were bringing in ID so the right name is printed on their GCSE certificates. While I was waiting I heard several children saying "I don't know" when asked their full name and saw them getting out BC or passports to check. It is a very ethnically diverse school but AIBU to think children should know their full name at the age of 15/16 yo even if they are known by another name?

OP posts:

Binglebong · 12/03/2019 19:03

Seems crazy to me.

MonstranceClock · 12/03/2019 19:05

Thats shocking! My 4 year old has 2 middle names, so 4 names that she knows, reads and spells!

LavenderFairyrunswild · 12/03/2019 19:07

2 of my children have their "English" names and then their "Foreign" names. They might have to check which one is printed on their exam paper work to ensure they write the correct one. I have also met many Asian and African children who have the same.

iklboo · 12/03/2019 19:10

Eh? DS knew his full name by three. Unfortunately it was his full name including some of the joke ones we'd told him. You try telling a teacher your son isn't really called 'Oompa Loompa'

TwoRoundabouts · 12/03/2019 19:11

Your post just shows how narrow your world view is.

PurpleAardvark · 12/03/2019 19:13

I have trouble remembering how to spell two of my children's names. So I wouldn't be surprised if they needed to check at that age. They don't use their full name everyday. My 9 year old has only just discovered his full name, but he can't spell it yet. It's not an English name, but he thought his name was an English version of his name.

PurpleAardvark · 12/03/2019 19:14

Oh, and I have have difficulty spelling it because I don't speak the language his name comes from. His father does.

BarbarianMum · 12/03/2019 19:15

Ds1 is 13 and "highly gifted". But not so gifted that he can reliably spell his middle name, which is Michael.

crisscrosscranky · 12/03/2019 19:17

@BarbarianMum my FIL is a Michael too... I am the only one who calls him Mike and that's because I never know if it's Michael or Micheal

I have a Masters of Law degree so I'm not that stupid I swear

PurpleAardvark · 12/03/2019 19:20

😂 Michael is one of the children's (not foreign names) I also can't spell. I have to check every time! But I don't write out all of his names that often.

SingaSong12 · 12/03/2019 19:21

Given the number of adults who spell their own names wrong on things like visa applications/buying plane tickets it’s probably best to check. I’ve seen a few where the person always goes by their middle name and forgets that is not what is on the passport.

MissionItsPossible · 12/03/2019 19:26

This is surprising to me to be honest although I recently read an article about a woman with 1000 names so it’s understandable in that case.

Toomuchworking · 12/03/2019 19:28

I used to work with GCSE students and surprisingly often had them ask what a middle name was and if they had one. These were British born teens with English as their first language so not like someone mentioned above with possibly two names to decide from. Also not SEN.

SnuggyBuggy · 12/03/2019 19:31

Maybe I just have a dull name but that seems really strange. My DDs middle name is a little on the long side and I'm now worrying I've stitched her up

BreevandercampLGJ · 12/03/2019 19:34

My Ds 18 has known his birth name and second name from a young age.

I always used it, including his surname when he was in trouble.

He then took a confirmation name, let's say Jack........I threw that into the mix last week when lightheartedly telling him off and he said to his girlfriend ooooh all three names and my surname, that is a new one I must really be in trouble....

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc · 12/03/2019 19:38

My 5 year old knows his first name and surname but not sure if he would remember his middle names.id be if he didn't know the lot by 7 though

EssentialHummus · 12/03/2019 19:44

DD is all of 18 months and I still sometimes battle to remember the form of her (four letter) middle name (think "Julie" v "Julia") and whether she has just her dad's surname or both of ours.

EssentialHummus · 12/03/2019 19:45

And an NCT friend has 12+ middle names, as every extended family member "gave" him one! (Nigerian, not sure if it happens elsewhere in west Africa.)

Dodgylooking · 12/03/2019 19:46

Anyone who thinks not knowing your own full name is acceptable is absolutely ridiculous! My 3 year old knows her full name!
These children are very nearly adults fgs!
Probably getting far to enraged by this but its their fucking name!

mumwon · 12/03/2019 19:47

for instance -if a name is Arabic based - the spelling for names can vary within families & what apparent may put on the passport may not be spelt the same as the pupil commonly uses - the same (my dh reminds me glancing over my shoulder whilst watching vote!) can occur in Chinese & Japanese writing (the whole aspect of sire name & Christian -first or known name - is not universal - & the order the school bases it on maybe the passport rather than (as previously said) the one the family/child uses -

FuzzyPuffling · 12/03/2019 19:48

Michael is an Archangel name, like Gabriel and Uriel and they all end with "el".

Huntress2020 · 12/03/2019 19:49

They probably should, I have to be honest and say I want certain how one of my middle names was officially spelt on my birth certificate until I was in my teens. It has a number of different spellings, I'd assumed the wrong one.

One of my children was certain that his middle name was Gomery. His full first name is Montgomery but he's know as Monty. He'd made his own mind up about the rest.

Ihuntmonsters · 12/03/2019 19:53

I'd be surprised if lots of children were completely unaware of their middle names at that age but not at all surprised that lots of children are checking spellings. My dd always has to double check the spelling of her middle name. Not because she is in some way lacking but because it got repeatedly mistranscribed by school from her official documents and as a result she is always a bit anxious about getting it right. The name is not incredibly unusual but has four different ways it can be spelled depending on it's origin (she has the German variant because it comes from her German great grandmother).

CasperGutman · 12/03/2019 19:53

A friend often has to check how her middle name is spelled. For some reason her parents always used a particular spelling with her, but her birth certificate had a different "wrong" spelling. Think Ann versus Anne. She knows which spelling she uses, but if she's had to show proof of name to an organisation they'll know her by the spelling on the document they have seen.

Even her driving licence and passport have different spellings of her name on them (I'm not sure how, as I thought the authorities would want proof of name to issue either, but I've seen both documents with my own eyes!).

Ihuntmonsters · 12/03/2019 19:56

Oh and a very good point about name ordering not being universal. Family name last is not the default everywhere at all.

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