AIBU to think that children should know their full name by Y11?

[PurplePenguins]

I've just had parents evening at DS3s school. At the same time was a GCSE check in. Y11 pupils were bringing in ID so the right name is printed on their GCSE certificates. While I was waiting I heard several children saying "I don't know" when asked their full name and saw them getting out BC or passports to check. It is a very ethnically diverse school but AIBU to think children should know their full name at the age of 15/16 yo even if they are known by another name?

My 13 year old knows what her name is, but usually spells one of her middle names incorrectly. It has an interesting spelling - she was named after mil. DH used to get quite cross with her, attempt to correct her & then also misspell it. I've given up on both of them now, always said it was a daft spelling.

I don't see the point of middle names but surely if you are going to give a child one or more you tell them what they are!

Essential I know quite a few Nigerians with many middle names for the same reason. I love it!
Each and every name has a story or connection, and all mean something, I think it's really nice.

I should have thought by the time children were sitting their GCSE exams they would be capable of remembering and spelling their full name however long or however rarely used. I consider any suggestion to the contrary to be absurd.

Maybe, but I know parents who either always use nicknames, put traditional family/cultural/religious names in the middle that rarely get used, and/or add additional middle names when they're ticked at their kid to the point the kids' not sure. I'm not surprised some kids might now know for certain, I mean, I was 17 when I found out the name on my birth certificate didn't match what I had been told. I got rid of all of it soon after, but it was a bit of a surprise that somehow this had never come up before.

Frustratingly, I have had to put both my birth name and what I thought was my birth name on "previous names" because the latter does show up on official documents because I thought that was my name so I'm glad there are checks before it can really end up on official paperwork needed later.

My first name is wrong on my exam certificates. because I didn't know how to spell it. I've been called by a shortened version of it all my life and I spelt it wrong.

I know I'm going to get flamed but why name a child something you can't spell yourself?
(Recalling something a friend told me about when she was in hospital post-partum. Woman in the next bed had said she wanted to name the baby after her mother so midwife asked her the spelling. The woman had no idea.)

In my experience this is quite common with children from other cultures. Often the name I have on my register does not match what they register under for the exam boards. Sometimes it's a similar spelling, sometimes they've picked Western names so their certificates say something completely different. Sometimes their official name will be a religious one, but to maintain individuality, they are always known by their middle names. My Asian sister in law has another name and 2 birthdays! My brother and niece also have 2 official names (they pick the most appropriate depending on the context).

This is making me feel better. I could never remember if mine was Ann/Anne. I did get the hang of it by gcse though.

When DD3 was 5 her Headmaster used her as an example and said "this is peace" referring to DD. She already had two middle middle names and insisted for quite some time that Peace was also her middle name🙄

My children are 7,9,11 and 14 and all know their middle names and the oldest 3 know how to spell them too. Youngest could probably have a good educated guess at his spelling.

I know I'm going to get flamed but why name a child something you can't spell yourself?

Well, like I said upthread one of the names was chosen by his father who also speaks another language and lived in a different culture which he wanted reflected in the name. I respect that.

Regarding Michael, I often think (every time I need to write it) why oh why did I choose a name I can't spell 😂 I think I'm getting the hang of it now.

I don't mean spell it, I mean KNOW it. When asked "what is your full name Fred?" They replied "I don't know and had to read it off their BC or passport. They were then asked to spell it or write it. All 4 of my DC knew their full name before they started school. They couldn't spell it but they knew it.

I often forget how to spell my middle name and I only have one.

My 3 year old won't even say her middle name, she insists she doesn't have one. So won't be surprised if at 15 she can't remember it.

My exH has an uncle who is Muslim. All his boys are Mohammed. They use their middle name but all of them know their full name and they are younger than 16.

may be it's down to some of the stupid spelling of some 'modern' names, christ knows what some parents are thinking when they name their kids.

"RainbowWaffles

I should have thought by the time children were sitting their GCSE exams they would be capable of remembering and spelling their full name however long or however rarely used. I consider any suggestion to the contrary to be absurd."

Completely agree. They're 15 ffs not 2.

DD doesn't like her name and has always refused to answer to it. She is 7, and certainly wouldn't be able to spell it. She can spell the name she goes by and she would recognise her first name if she saw it written. Mainly because her reception/Y1 teacher insisted it was used when she started school and labelled everything with it. But calling her by it lasted around a week before she caved and used her given name Having said that, I do expect her to be able to spell it by the time she is 15!

Gideon Oliver Osbourne would not have wanted his name on GCSE certificates were they the exam in his day.

Yeah because all the 15/16 year olds I know walk around with their passports and birth certificates in their pocket.

Was just about to be judgy about this and then remembered that dippy DD1 blithely signed herself off for her exam entries with the wrong name (think Kate instead of Katherine).

Fortunately it was sorted and she managed a clutch of very respectable GCSEs.

You’d be surprised at how many children live under a variety of names.

Parent’s past relationships, assumed names, adopted names, legal names etc etc.

A lot of children with a Chinese heritage have a Chinese name and an anglicised name they use out of the house. (Often older sorts of names - the only Kenneth I ever taught was a lad of Chinese heritage.)

Then there are spellings - Mohammad can be spelt half a dozen ways but for exam certificates it’s got to be the correct one - as on the birth certificate, Nat Ins records etc.,

I don’t care what variety of names children live under, it is a relatively small finite amount of information and there is no excuse for not knowing it. If your name, or your child’s name, consists of 20 consecutive random consonants rendering it entirely unpronounceable I would still expect you to invest the effort in committing it to memory. It’s your/ your child’s name FFS. What hope do these people have of committing an entire GCSE syllabus to memory? The bar cannot be set so bloody low that there are excuses being proffered for this behaviour.

Accidentally forgetting you need to use the formal version and using the more regular informal version is a different scenario to not knowing it. I can understand how that could happen.

Useful to know that about Mohammed, I didn't realise you had to use the variation chosen at birth on official docs. Makes sense.

Most couples from different cultures I know make sure their DCs first names work in both. Can take forever to decide.