AIBU to think that children should know their full name by Y11?

[PurplePenguins]

I've just had parents evening at DS3s school. At the same time was a GCSE check in. Y11 pupils were bringing in ID so the right name is printed on their GCSE certificates. While I was waiting I heard several children saying "I don't know" when asked their full name and saw them getting out BC or passports to check. It is a very ethnically diverse school but AIBU to think children should know their full name at the age of 15/16 yo even if they are known by another name?

So it is privileged to say a child should know their own name now? Christ, I give up. This is all so utterly bizarre.

I live in a country where people have given names and a formal system that allows a ‘used name’ also. I have never met anyone that has forgotten which is which. I also know this information about many people I regularly come into contact with. It really isn’t a stretch to expect people to know this about themselves.

The Thai instance is also fair enough as it’s a different alphabet. The children the OP is referring to were being asked for names in the same alphabet as the exams they were sitting it isn’t the same.

It really isn’t unreasonable to expect a child to know their name. Unless the parents are so shitty they haven’t bothered to tell them what it is or how to tie their shoelaces or tell the time. In those circumstances I doubt their inability to spell their name represents their biggest problem.

I grew up with some friends who had formal legal names they never used in another language. Deprived area, no travel. Parents just never got documents out and the names never used.

Tbh my eldest was a bit older than she should have been when she realised her name was for legal purposes her middle name on documents from our own country. British ID is arranged differently and we used it as a first. Hard to explain, but we don’t carry over all names or always the order to British ID and it never causes issue. For example my husband doesn’t even have his patronymic here, but there it’s in the place of a family name on ID. I use a non hyphenated two name as a first and middle here.

If you don’t speak the home language, or even read the alphabet, you can find ID more tricky. Some first generation immigrants don’t move and still mix in their communities still and lose language fast and culture

Scabetty: which is exactly why schools have a ‘known as’ question and category.

And wrt pp, who’d a thunk it? Mohammed and Muhammad needing to be spelt correctly ...

The middle class ethnic-homogenous bubble is about right.

You might expect it but many of us on here have not lived the chaotic and mixed up lives that some children sadly do today.

Nor have many on here had dealings with children who have led these lives. Many children conceal things quite effectively to the outsider.

I was having a talk with my class, mixed ages, about whose birthday was next.

I came to Noah, “When’s your birthday Noah”.

“I don’t know, I used to know but I don’t know now” was his response. He wasn’t on the SEND register - although he hovered close to it. Fortunately the rest of the class didn’t hear his mumbled reply.

I’ve known children who didn’t know their address.

As another example: Russian DH has a patronymic, as does DD. We've no idea whether in official UK documentation it needs to be treated as a middle name since here (unlike Russia and the CIS) there's no box on the form for patronymics. So it may or may not be part of a "full name", circumstances depending.

DGD has an English name, which has an equivalent in her mother’s native language - which they both use for her in reality. She only answers to that. I can see her growing up, thinking it’s her name when legally it’s not!

A boy in my class from age 8 - 15 only discovered his parents had told him the wrong date of birth when we went on a trip to France in the 90s. He had to order a birth cert to get a passport - and discovered he was not in fact 14 but 15, having been born a whole year earlier than his parents apparently thought.

His parents were functionally illiterate, but his first school, our school when he transferred and the family social worker and loads of other professionals failed to spot this.

I think some of you are a bit harsh. Here is just one thread I found of MNetters making a mistake completing forms to buy tickets. By now every one knows this could be an expensive mistake/lead to refusal to travel but it happens. The vast majority of GCSE candidates will know their names in full with correct spelling but best to have official document just to make sure

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3105773-not-to-pay-a-travel-agent-100-to-correct-the-spelling-of-my-name

Note the thread I posted is old - don’t add to it.

Does a child know whether their confirmation name is part of their legal name for exam purposes?

They need to know what name would go on their passport, what they are registered as at the GP and what they would write on an exam paper.

A child that usually uses one part of a hyphenated name?

They should be aware that they have a hyphenated name. You gave it to them so just tell them. That's not very hard.

It is a good idea for schools to double check.

If you or your child has special needs, the school will be able to support you. Otherwise, dont be lazy. Take responsibilty.

Some people need to eff off with the sneery smuggery.

An expectation that children be taught useful information is 'sneery smuggery'? Raise your standards.

Thats shocking! My 4 year old has 2 middle names, so 4 names that she knows, reads and spells!

Yep, I would expect this too

I have a legal name (obviously!) but I'm not known by it. My sister didn't like my name and called me penguin. I've been known as penguin every since. I have always known my full legal name. I think the same happened with Bear Grylls (real name Edward). I find it hard to believe that children have got to 16 and don't KNOW their full name. I can understand that they may not be sure how to spell it if it is not used regularly but not to know it at all is the parents fault, and I find that hard to understand.

And sitting there listening last night it was a case of not knowing it at all and not knowing it but can't spell it.

I didn't know how to spell my middle name and nor did my mum

My school insisted on lengthening my name when it came to exam entries think Katherine instead of Kate, when I corrected it the exams officer questioned if I was sure I knew my own name 🙄 this thread has (15years later) made me realise why he jumped to the assumption I got it wrong over him!

Checked earlier and my daughter who is 9 didn’t spell her Norwegian middle name correctly. She spelled it a completely acceptable and understandable way, but not the way it’s actually spelled.

It would be worrying if it was her 4 letter first name but not her “7 letters an a hyphen” middle name

Michael....a and e are in alphabetical order.

I’ve met adults who don’t know their full name, or can’t spell their middle name. It’s sadly not that uncommon.

I had a different experience growing up. I had to use a different name because my normal name could have “outed” me as English to one of my friends parents. So I had a name that was given to me by the company my father worked for.
Luckily we didn’t live there too long (3 years) so for 3 years I got used to answering to a different name.
Then I was in an English school for the first time. With a German name. That’s difficult to say and spell, with an English twist on the spelling (think annestacia, but spelled Anastasia) With an English middle name but with one letter spelt differently (think Susan but spelled Suzan) and then a perfectly normal welsh surname.
It’s bloody difficult under those circumstances to get the name 100% correct all the time. It’s a problem.

My 4 year old would not reliably say the long form of his first name which is on his birth certificate, but the short form and his middle and surnames he definitely knows. He can write his shortened first name.

That’s why I gave my kids normal English, easy to spell names that no one would be able to get wrong. My 4 year old knows his full name (and adds variations of tv characters names - think Charlie John Smith, and he’ll say Charlie John scooby doo smith) and can spell it.

I was helping my mother renew her driving license (she's mid 80s) and we were having problems getting it to work...

Turned out that her driving license and her passport had different names on (an extra middle name in one of them). She always goes by the full name - no idea how she managed to end up with a piece of formal id missing one of the names. More to the point - nor did the person that she spoke to at the DVLA who was really peturbed that she had managed to have different official id for so long as that isn't supposed to happen (and hence the problems trying to sort it out online - big case of computer say no!).

So I guess I can understand that confusions can arise when needing an official name, especially as for many it will be the first time they have needed it!

My 5 year old has a hard to spell first name, long middle name and unusual surname. She knows and can spell all of them. I can't understand why on earth older kids don't know their name.

First time hearing this. Very unusual

Isn't it possible that a few of them check because they're feeling nervous and have a sudden panic that their full name on the birth certificate might somehow be different? I'm a complete panicker, checking-everything-I've-known-for-50-years when it comes to official documents.