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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it’s weird that work haven’t congratulated me on new baby?!

61 replies

Zzzxxxx · 11/03/2019 22:52

I work in a close knit team, we all get on very well (I wouldn’t say they were friends though). Before I went on maternity leave, everyone was very kind etc and wished me well.
My manager is based in Australia (rest of the team is in the Uk). I contacted my manager to let her know about the baby and she sent a lovely email back. I have heard nothing from anyone else! I’m sure she would have told them. I can’t contact them myself as I don’t have my work laptop until I do some KIT days in june.
I’m not losing sleep over this but Aibu to think it’s a bit off to have not heard anything from anyone else?!

OP posts:
Original poster
Zzzxxxx · 11/03/2019 22:53

I should add that baby is now 2.5 weeks old..

OP posts:
Chickaletta16 · 11/03/2019 22:56

That is odd ! I would expect to receive a gift or card or visit tbh. I had a bunch of Facebook friends id never met send the most stunning bouquet of flowers when my son was born. I totally get why you are disappointed op . Maybe they are waiting for you to bring the baby in x

DisplayPurposesOnly · 11/03/2019 22:57

You don't need your work laptop to email them (assuming they have email addresses).

Original poster
Zzzxxxx · 11/03/2019 22:58

I don’t have their email addresses unfortunatelyband can’t remember them. All my manager would have needed to do was send to the collective UK email address and let someone know my address in order to send a card.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 11/03/2019 23:02

TBH your manager is likely busy doing their job and may not have let them know. You say these people aren’t friends and you don’t even have any contact details for them. What value would a card really have for you?

AornisHades · 11/03/2019 23:06

Your manager in Australia probably hasn't realised she needs to let the UK team know. She's probably assumed you'd have been in touch with them directly. Surely you can figure out a company email from yours?

Cranky17 · 11/03/2019 23:08

I wouldn’t expect your manager to let others know. I would expect you to have sent a quick text to your colleagues though

MatildaTheCat · 11/03/2019 23:08

To be fair your manager may feel this is your news to share unless you explicitly asked her to pass it on. It could be classed as confidential medical information.

Also, sadly colleagues on ML do rather cease to exist when they are away. They gave you a nice send off and they will be pleased to see you back, the bit in between is rather a black hole!

Anyway, it’s hard to believe you genuinely can’t contact a single member of your team to update them and ask them to let everyone know?

Congratulations!

HakunaRattatas · 11/03/2019 23:18

Part of me is very uncomfortable with saying this. But you need to be aware that you are not the centre of the universe. Your life has changed in a great way but their lives have not. Be an adult. Pick yourself up, dust yourself down and crack on

AppleDump · 11/03/2019 23:22

Do they usually celebrate special occasions collectively? On the day or last day in work in your case.

I think it's a bit odd they didn't give you a card/dress your desk etc as you left for maternity but each to their own.

Enjoy your baby

Original poster
Zzzxxxx · 11/03/2019 23:25

I went out 2 weeks early due to illness so my expected last day came abruptly early.

OP posts:
daftgeranium · 11/03/2019 23:26

OP it's not all about you!!

Whattodo13333 · 11/03/2019 23:28

First world problems 🤔

Wolfiefan · 11/03/2019 23:29

Honestly I’m sorry you haven’t received a card but these aren’t your friends. You say as much yourself.

thistimeofyear · 11/03/2019 23:29

don't take it personally - you said they weren't friends as such
I am trying to remember if work contacted me after I had my baby
I think I had a couple of phone calls but maybe weeks later not necessarily at the beginning I think 2 weeks is not long
I took my baby in to work to show them all and they were very appreciative
I presume you had a pressie and card when you left?

cloudymelonade · 11/03/2019 23:29

Not really that weird. Even though I am baby mad and always go overboard with congratulations and gifts etc, I have come to learn that to some people, having a baby is exceptionally boring.

PicklePumpkinPie · 11/03/2019 23:30

Would they have your personal details if you're not on your work email? I'm sure they'll be pleased to hear your news and perhaps they've not heard from your manager/they can't reach you. Congratulations on your newborn.

TrixieFranklin · 11/03/2019 23:31

We wouldn't be allowed to give out an employees home address without permission, especially just to send a card!

There's a chance the U.K. team don't know - is there a generic office email you can email them a picture and a nice chatty email hoping they're all well?

sleepalldays · 11/03/2019 23:35

Hate to be another one but whilst a baby is a huge (and happy) change in your life, I simply couldn't care less if you were my colleague! I would wish you well before you left and maybe a card/baby gift if we were good friends but I certainly wouldn't be going out of my way to give congratulations if I didn't know you well.

Tonnes of people have children every day, it gets oldWink

SquigglySquaw · 11/03/2019 23:41

I mean it is weird. You spend so much of your life at work with these people and they don't even acknowledge a massive event in your life. All I can think of is that your manager hasn't told them, maybe she assumed you would. Try to find one of them on Facebook? They're probably wondering if you've had the baby but don't want to ask incase you haven't (everyone knows that's annoying)

Congratulations!!

UnspiritualHome · 11/03/2019 23:48

Surely you must be able to work out your colleagues' email addresses? Virtually every workplace follows s standard format, e.g [email protected]

Gormless · 11/03/2019 23:53

I think if you’re not close enough to have even one of your colleagues on social media or have their mobile number to send them a text telling them your news, it really is just a work relationship. Personally I wouldn’t be expecting to hear from them- and how could they contact you anyway? But I’m sure they’ll be excited when you take the baby in to visit!

SpaceCadet4000 · 11/03/2019 23:54

Honestly, unless it was someone I was exceptionally close to, I wouldn't have reached out to a colleague until they had sent an email directly to me. I see maternity leave/birth as quite a private thing, and I would assume that a colleague not reaching out after the birth wasn't ready for contact yet.

Ask your manager to send through a few emails and then send a round robin with a picture announcing the name etc. No doubt you'll get some lovely responses.

PigletJohn · 11/03/2019 23:55

Send a card to the UK office announcing the birth. Make it a big fluffy one they can pin on the wall.

Include your name, address and email. And phone no if you are not hiding. If you don't know theirs, assume they don't know yours.

You will probably get at least a card.

Nickpan · 12/03/2019 00:01

weird for someone the other side of the the world, to have to inform the rest of your office. You don't know any of them on Facebook? Haven't been able to text them? Not dropped in to show them the baby child?
Well, then: you're not that close enough to worry