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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... to think he should have told me it was so flippin hot?

128 replies

macromolecule · 11/03/2019 15:55

I had to go out this afternoon. Before I went I said to DP that I would let him know when I was on the way home so that he could have a coffee ready for me. I called to let him know I'd be about ten minutes, thinking that he'd make it then so it would have cooled down a bit.

As I walked in he handed me the coffee straight away and, as I walked in I took a mouthful only to find it was scalding hot and I burned my mouth! I have reduced sensation in my hands and so I couldn't really tell from that. He'd literally just reboiled the kettle so it was super hot.

The thing that really annoyed me most was that he couldn't even say sorry and started accusing me of slamming doors instead. He made the mistake of reboiling the kettle but he can never accept any part of the blame for anything! AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
macromolecule · 11/03/2019 20:43

I wish it wasn't.

He's been behaving really oddly on and off for about the last year. About three times recently he's told me I should leave "his house" (it's a joint tenancy) and today he told me that if I took the car out he'd report it stolen. He also told me during the coffee row that he's done with me and we're over. No idea if he meant it, and now he's gone to bed. He was absolutely serious about it all being my fault. I can't even begin to imagine doing something so daft and then blaming someone else.

I have no idea what happened to us. We were solid for nearly twenty years and now this.

OP posts:
Pk37 · 11/03/2019 20:55

This was a joke ,surely?

youknowmedontyou · 11/03/2019 21:37

🥵 ☕️ 😨

youknowmedontyou · 11/03/2019 21:38

He also told me during the coffee row that he's done with me and we're over. No idea if he meant it, and now he's gone to bed

He probably did and justifiably I think!

altiara · 11/03/2019 21:40

He’s got another woman and reduced you to staff?
To be honest, with that update, I’d tell him to leave as he wants to change the status quo.
The coffee was a red herring. It’s totally normal if you know someone’s coming round in 10 mins to fill and boil the kettle and then not make the tea/coffee as it’s too soon! So you reboil the kettle another 5 mins later.
Hope you’re financially ok OP Flowers

Hiphopopotamus · 11/03/2019 21:42

youknowme did you read the whole thread? It was a reserve - the OPs partner is the coffee twat. So absolutely not justifiable!

OP - you can do better. Please don’t subject yourself to a life with someone like this.

Waterbottle1999 · 11/03/2019 21:54

After your update, I'd tell him to go fuck himself to be honest. You don't need him.

cricketmum84 · 11/03/2019 22:21

Hang on... you phone ahead to instruct him to make you a coffee??

I can't work out whether you are a lazy fecker or just have your DH impeccably trained 😂

iklboo · 11/03/2019 22:42

@cricketmum84 No. it's a reverse thread. OP made the coffee when her DH phoned and asked told her to.

cricketmum84 · 12/03/2019 05:59

Ugh. Can't be doin with reverses.

origamiunicorn · 12/03/2019 06:10

*I don't think this is a reverse. Ops just embarrassed she was called out for being a CF 🤷🏼‍♀️
*

What I thought

DroningOn · 12/03/2019 06:15

Tomorrow.... "DH made me a cup of tea and it was cold... So annoyed with him"

YABVU

maddening · 12/03/2019 06:44

He sounds like he is pushing you away and checking out of the relationship - sees you as an enemy? I would snoop and get ducks in a row.

youknowmedontyou · 12/03/2019 08:01

@macromolecule my apologies for my comment, I didn't catch on this was a reverse. He's just looking for things to argue about.

NoWayNoHow · 12/03/2019 11:54

OP maybe get this moved to Relationships, or start a new thread? It sounds like you have some serious issues to deal with in terms of your "D"H and AIBU probably isn't the best forum.

DarlingNikita · 12/03/2019 12:00

today he told me that if I took the car out he'd report it stolen

What the fuck?!?

Get this moved to Relationships and get some better advice. He's not right in the head. Something's going on.

Mmmmbrekkie · 12/03/2019 12:05

So if it’s a reverse, does it mean you behaved like this...

The thing that really annoyed me most was that he couldn't even say sorry and started accusing me of slamming doors instead. He made the mistake of reboiling the kettle but he can never accept any part of the blame for anything! AIBU?

M4J4 · 12/03/2019 19:05

@Mmmmbrekkie - RTFT, the OP's DH is a prick.

Soubriquet · 12/03/2019 19:16

See this is why reverses don’t work

You get people reading the OP and then jumping on the wagon to berate them

I would honestly look into leaving him. He is treating you disgustingly

ThreeBagsFullofWool · 12/03/2019 19:21

My husband asks me to make him a coffee sometimes before work, if he wants to drink it immediately he asks me to add cold water to it. Simple.

Your OH could have done the same. He's being a twat.

ThreeBagsFullofWool · 12/03/2019 19:24

Also you can write gender neutral posts without doing a reverse. Usually people use the "Person A" and "Person B" format.

Mmmmbrekkie · 12/03/2019 19:32

Yes I know it’s a reverse
But if you read it - then the reverse paints the person who served the hot coffee (the OP) in a shitty light

SparklesAndUnicorns · 12/03/2019 19:34

Wow are you really complaining about this? Yabu I'm sure not everyone's partner would have a cup of freshly made coffee for them on command as they arrive through the door.

iklboo · 12/03/2019 19:59

Christ on a bike. RTFT people.

InMyBloodstainedSundaysBest · 12/03/2019 20:40

If this is true, my advice is to leave him now.

Escalation. Next time the hot coffee might get thrown in your face.

The bloke is an idiot.

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