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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... to think he should have told me it was so flippin hot?

128 replies

macromolecule · 11/03/2019 15:55

I had to go out this afternoon. Before I went I said to DP that I would let him know when I was on the way home so that he could have a coffee ready for me. I called to let him know I'd be about ten minutes, thinking that he'd make it then so it would have cooled down a bit.

As I walked in he handed me the coffee straight away and, as I walked in I took a mouthful only to find it was scalding hot and I burned my mouth! I have reduced sensation in my hands and so I couldn't really tell from that. He'd literally just reboiled the kettle so it was super hot.

The thing that really annoyed me most was that he couldn't even say sorry and started accusing me of slamming doors instead. He made the mistake of reboiling the kettle but he can never accept any part of the blame for anything! AIBU?

OP posts:
MarvinMarvinson · 11/03/2019 16:12

Sorry, insensitive cross post there.

I hope you're OK op. I imagine this is the tip of a very unpleasant iceburg

InsertFunnyUsername · 11/03/2019 16:12

Oh dang it, read my previous post as OP.'s OH Grin

CluedoAddict · 11/03/2019 16:13

Why not just ask instead if doing a stupid reverse post?

Vehivle · 11/03/2019 16:13

@macromole thank god lol! Well at least you know now your husband is the ass!

Undies1990 · 11/03/2019 16:14

Here's an idea .... make your own coffee in future

Justmuddlingalong · 11/03/2019 16:15

Reverse posts are pointless in most cases. This being one of them.

Sparklingbrook · 11/03/2019 16:16

We will find out who reads the full thread from this point onwards...

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 11/03/2019 16:17

@macromolecule sorry to break it to you, but you're married to an idiot.

I hope he has apologised for this... ahem... storm in a coffee cup (sorry!)

Original poster
macromolecule · 11/03/2019 16:17

Why? Because I could hear him saying, of course they'd say that because you're a woman. And I feel so nuts that I can't even work out if he'd be right or not.

OP posts:
adaline · 11/03/2019 16:17

He rings you to tell you to make him coffee? And you comply? Why?

MummyStruggles · 11/03/2019 16:17

Your husband is an arsehole!

Catmum26 · 11/03/2019 16:18

your follow up posts make me sad for you. you don’t have to live like this xx

boringlyboring · 11/03/2019 16:19

OP how can we trust anything you say now!

DarlingNikita · 11/03/2019 16:19

What did his last slave die of?

I get the reduced sensation thing, but he's off his heid if he thinks it's OK to ring you to command him to make him a coffee.

This is missing the point and petty but coffee made with boiling water is horrible.

TixieLix · 11/03/2019 16:20

I would let him know when I was on the way home so that he could have a coffee ready for me

Ok so we know it's a reverse and your DP was the one calling to let you know he was on his way home. Does he always give you orders about having coffee ready? Sounds like he treats you like the maid if this is normal behaviour for him.

HarrysOwl · 11/03/2019 16:21

Jeeze. Sorry you're with a bloke like that, OP.

It may seem small, but that's a really nasty trait.

Slowknitter · 11/03/2019 16:23

He is an arsehole (and if it were a woman, she'd still be an arsehole). Poor the coffee in his shoes next time.

TixieLix · 11/03/2019 16:23

So now you can report back to your DP:

  • MN'ers think the coffee drinker is a twat for not testing the drink first before gulping
  • They also think the coffee drinker is a further twat for ordering the partner to have a drink ready and waiting for their arrival
  • They didn't change their minds on the above when they found out it was a reverse
  • They think the coffee maker should grow a backbone and tell the drinker to make their own bloody coffee in future, lazy git!
BruceAndNosh · 11/03/2019 16:30

I don't see the point in "ordering" your coffee when you (or he) are enroute. The drinker might get caught up in traffic and the coffee be stone cold by the time they got home

thewreckofthehesperus · 11/03/2019 16:30

He's wrong footing you. My ex was like this. Everything I did was wrong and always my fault. It's a horrible way to live and if he is actually like my ex and this is a regular occurrence where you feel you're walking on eggshells around him I'd seriously be considering my options.

Can I ask what your reaction was to him when he got angry at you?

userxx · 11/03/2019 16:32

Tell him to make his own fucking coffee.

Oysterbabe · 11/03/2019 16:32

Yabu for doing a reverse, the responses would have been the same either way and they are so, so annoying.

Asta19 · 11/03/2019 16:38

The fact you needed to write this as a reverse to be clear in your own mind, tells me something. The way you are feeling doesn't happen over night. It takes time to mess up a persons mind in that way. You can see now that you were not in the wrong whatsoever. Use that to think about all the other times he's told you you're "wrong". All the things you have apologised for that you haven't even done. You don't have to live like this.

iklboo · 11/03/2019 16:40

Tell him to ring AmbulanceChasingShysters4U - he'll definitely get a seven figure payout. £0,000,000.

missbattenburg · 11/03/2019 16:52

I used to laugh at stories that restaurants etc needed to put warnings on their cups of coffee to inform drinkers contents may be hot. I used to think what idiot doesn't know hot drinks might be hot?

I guess now I know.