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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... to think he should have told me it was so flippin hot?

128 replies

macromolecule · 11/03/2019 15:55

I had to go out this afternoon. Before I went I said to DP that I would let him know when I was on the way home so that he could have a coffee ready for me. I called to let him know I'd be about ten minutes, thinking that he'd make it then so it would have cooled down a bit.

As I walked in he handed me the coffee straight away and, as I walked in I took a mouthful only to find it was scalding hot and I burned my mouth! I have reduced sensation in my hands and so I couldn't really tell from that. He'd literally just reboiled the kettle so it was super hot.

The thing that really annoyed me most was that he couldn't even say sorry and started accusing me of slamming doors instead. He made the mistake of reboiling the kettle but he can never accept any part of the blame for anything! AIBU?

OP posts:
LoadOfUtterBoswellocks · 11/03/2019 16:56

Oh dear, he's done a proper job on you hasn't he? Please know that treating your partner the way he treats you is NOT NORMAL. It is not normal to give someone orders, it is not normal to make everything their fault and it is not normal to gaslight someone.

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 11/03/2019 16:58

I doubt I'm alone in thinking that if the coffee hadn't been too hot, it would have been too milky, or in the wrong cup. These things are never about coffee (or whatever the initial problem seems to be), it's always bloody power and control.
So sad that from now on, you will be unable to make his coffee (or take his bastarding call ordering you to make it) because of your worry over his health and safety. You'd hate to accidentally injure him, wouldn't you?

Lightupthesky · 11/03/2019 16:59

How old are you?

Elephantina · 11/03/2019 17:00

I think you might be married to my FIL, he tends to indulge in abject fuckwittery like this.

Then again, his poor partner probably wouldn't dream of posting on MN as he controls her every thought anyway...

SausageMashandOnionGravy · 11/03/2019 17:01

My husband and I often make a drink when the other is due home, we manage to not scald our mouths off without having to be warned or advised on how long ago it was made. Normal people sip when they are handed a hot drink to check the temperature.

I think you are being rather ridiculous!

TixieLix · 11/03/2019 17:02

As you've already misled us by doing a reverse, can I check this is definitely about you and your partner, or is there any further deception going on? Could it be your boss called you to say he was on his way to the office and to have his coffee ready? The whole calling ahead, handing the coffee on arrival thing - I can see that as a typically misogynist male boss/female secretary from the 1950s type scenario.

Soubriquet · 11/03/2019 17:04

Does your oh normally drink lukewarm coffee?

My dh does. Half hot water, half milk. sometimes I mess up and it’s hot but guess what he does? He just adds more milk.

He doesn’t flip out and rant

Your OH is completely out of order

FoxSquadKitten · 11/03/2019 17:09

Oh dear, a reverse, aye?
Well if my 'D'h behaved like this he'd be getting the coffee thrown over his lap boiling hot or not 😡

GetStrongKeepFighting · 11/03/2019 17:10

Please don't ever make him a hot drink again.

scarbados · 11/03/2019 17:28

YABVVU.

He made you a drink as you asked. Would you have complained if it had gone cold while you were on they way home?

Justmuddlingalong · 11/03/2019 17:30

🙄😄

Namechangedbecauseiwantto · 11/03/2019 17:31

@scarbados
Rtft

FoxSquadKitten · 11/03/2019 17:35

We will find out who reads the full thread from this point onwards...

Looking at you, Scarbados 👀

PH03b3 · 11/03/2019 18:13

Ill go along with you as far as to say he should have maybe said its literally just been made knowing you have a lack of sensation in your hand but you should take procaution yourself really

hiddeneverything · 11/03/2019 18:26

Wow.

VladmirsPoutine · 11/03/2019 18:41

LTB. This is abuse.

WTF!

BlueJava · 11/03/2019 18:49

Whoever phones ahead for coffee is being pampered to UR in my view. Taking a mouthful of a freshly prepared hot drink without checking the temperature is also UR.

Rockbird · 11/03/2019 19:42

Phoning ahead for coffee is no biggie. I often ring my mum and tell her to put the kettle on as I'll be round in 10 mins. And she would do the same.

But I'm stunned that a grown adult needs someone to point out that it may be hot. He sounds like a bit of a tit.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 11/03/2019 19:44

Are you a child OP, do you really need someone to tell you a hot drink is hot.

Lougle · 11/03/2019 20:02

I can't see the problem about messaging/phoning ahead to 'book coffee'. It's quite normal in my family and it's quite nice in a sort of "I'm on my way to see you" way. DH and I do it sometimes, especially if one of us didn't really want to go out, we'll say "let me know when you're on your way back and I'll have the kettle on."

But the not testing his own coffee is bizarre. Reduced sensation in hands.... Well that's irrelevant, because you still need to protect your hands from heat, even if you don't feel pain from it. And who doesn't sense heat as they raise something hot to their lips?? Unless they have reduced sensation in their lips, but I'm sure you would have mentioned that!

kaytee87 · 11/03/2019 20:05

I don't think this is a reverse. Ops just embarrassed she was called out for being a CF 🤷🏼‍♀️

Islands81 · 11/03/2019 20:06

Can’t do right for doing wrong springs to mind...

Frecklesonmyarm · 11/03/2019 20:07

Reverses dont work.

You cant tell a story from someone else's point of view. It just doesnt work

SurgeHopper · 11/03/2019 20:08

I'm confused

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 11/03/2019 20:28

I’m with Kaytee. Reverse my arse.