to think it is rude for DS to get an obviously second round invite to a birthday the night before?

[Yolo89]

So the question is all in.the heading. Do you think it is rude? Would you do it if someone pulled out and you had an extra place?

Are you sure this is the case though? What age is DS, sometimes it can simply be a case of a forgotten invite or if the kids are young forgetting someone from their list.

So don't go.

If he wanted to go, then I’d take him.

I wouldn’t be insulted by it or anything, many parties have limited numbers and best friends are obviously the first choice but if one of them drops out why wouldn’t you invite someone else

I think it's perfectly fine.

I'm sure if the child could invite Every Child Ever then he would have done.
But the reality is, he as probably limited to spaces so he had to be relatively picky.
He probably always wanted your son to go, and now he can.
If he didn't want your son there, he wouldn't have ask.

Stop being professionally offended and let your son enjoy the party.

No, it’s not rude. Sometimes places are limited because of cost or logistics. It’s fine to offer a late invitation. If the child doesn’t want to take up whatever opportunity is being offered, that’s fine too.

No wouldn't be offended. Places are often limited.

How old? And what kind of party?

People are so quick to be offended these days!

I wouldn't mind. If he didn't get the invite he'd hear about the party anyway and know he wasn't invited.

I think it's rude when people do two tiers of invitation (Eg some people go home at 7 and lots of others stay the night) but this I wouldn't mind and would bring DS to the party if he wanted to go.

No i wouldnt esp if it's a limited place party.

No not especialy rude. Parties often have limited numbers and are for an organized prepaid activity. If someone drops out then theres a space available for anothe child.
It is nothing to do with being second round or second choice. Some children will still have not been invited at all. Which is all fine.
If it is an party your child would like, then just go and enjoy it. If you only got things where you are the very first person on the list, and take offence where none is intended you miss out on an awful lot.
It's not rude you weren't thought of first, it's great you were thought of. (If you have no present, to hand as it is last minute put a fiver in a card).

I wouldn't mind. Numbers are limited I understand that. If ds wants to go and you can manage I would take him.

This happened to DS recently. He’s not close friends with party boy at all but they are in the same class. 2 days before birthday he suddenly got invite. We thought it was funny, I wasn’t insulted or anything and didn’t find it rude. It was clearly a last min invite as it was a particular activity which is currently popular here and needs booking months in advance. He was just made up to be doing the activity so win-win for him and party Mum who would have been paying for an empty place.

It's fine. There is always a guest limit and if someone else couldn't come why not invite someone else? No biggie

I personally think it’s rude. I wouldn’t do it, but it has happened to my DD. She wanted to go though so I kept my thoughts to myself, we said thank you for the invite and she went.

She wanted to go though so I kept my thoughts to myself, we said thank you for the invite and she went.

This 👆

And that's the main thing isn't it? Op if your DS wants to go then let him. 🤷🏾‍♂️

If you son would like to go and the child would like to have him there then I do t see a problem. Your son won't know or care probably but he almost certainly will have a lovely time.

Nothing else matters at all.

Can't say as it would particularly bother me. But it's an invite not a summons so if he doesn't want to go, don't.

Life’s too short to get upset by stuff like this. If your DS would like to go and you have the time and resources to take him, just do it and let him enjoy the party with his friends.

No, fuck no. There’s nothing wrong here!

Say your DS is in a class of 25 and it’s a party at home OR somewhere there’s a cap on numbers.

Imagine you had 10 invites to give out.

That means you start out by leaving 15 kids out.

If of the 10, five can’t manage then a further 5 would go out to those not invited yet. 5 kids are then left out.

If the day before a kid gets ill and drops out i would then either accept less than all 10 would appear or I’d ask my kid to nominate a kid not yet asked. 4 kids are left out.

There will always be kids left out.

Yes I can get why you may feel a bit “on the subs bench” but an invite is an invite, no?

With respect, get over yourself lest your kid end up with some weird misplaced sense of needing to be on the A-list or it’s a snub.

I do think its rude. You draw up your list of invitees and if children cancel (which clearly they have as it is the night before) then you suck it up and it's a smaller party.

I don't think its acceptable for any occasion whether that's a children party or a wedding to have 'first round' invites and only if your 'preferred' guests can't make it do you invite the people on your 'second round' list.

I think it's rude.

Does your son want to go?

Any chance of him finding out he's just making up the numbers?

If DS wants to go and you don’t have other plans then let him go and enjoy the party.

If You have other plans or DS doesn’t want to go then don’t.

Dont get yourself worked up over something so trivial. Would you rather party child’s mum paid for an unused space and your DS wasn’t invited at all?

It's not rude.

Send him if he wants to go.

Just out of interest @Foreverexhausted

Say your kid wanted to invite 15 people but you could only fit 10 and dropouts = more invites can be sent to more kids of your kid’s choice is that not a good thing?!

Again, not arguing, genuinely intrigued