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Original poster

To think he might be cheating?

220 replies

loveactuallyisallaround · 09/03/2019 00:12

I'm almost due with baby number 1, much wanted by both of us and a struggle to conceive but we're here and so far so good.

Problem is, for about 5 months now my DH has COMPLETELY lost interest in anything to do with me, baby, or us.

He used to be great around the house, real 50/50 with everything, now I can't even ask him to help take the bins out without getting a mouthful.

He doesn't come to any appointments anymore (high risk pregnancy) - not that I'm suggesting he should to be fair, he works, but not only does he not ask, when I try to talk to him or give him updates he just ignores me.

He doesn't want to have sex anymore and we haven't for almost four months, he voluntarily sleeps on our very uncomfortable sofa every night, and can't give me any reason why he doesn't want to sleep in our bed anymore. I have totally given up giving him a kiss or a cuddle because he always pushes me away or rolls his eyes.

He gets in from work and all he wants to do is play his PlayStation until the early hours and I'm not allowed to speak whilst he's on it, which is annoying as I'm on mat leave and look forward to having him home for a chat in the evenings - not asking for a four hour heart to heart but let's at least have tea together and discuss our days???

He's ALWAYS on his phone if not the game and the other day I looked at him whilst he was on his phone, genuinely just looked up at him, and he went crazy saying I was checking up on him?! I was extremely confused.

I've tried to speak to him about it all and he just shuts me down.

We spend zero time together and haven't left the house together in months, he says he's too tired to do anything with me but stays on his game every night until the early hours when he has work at 6.

I can't imagine he's physically cheating because I don't know where he'd find the time, but emotional perhaps?! Something isn't right. Please help because I can't take anymore, I feel disgusting. I tried to kiss him goodnight tonight and he just moved and looked at me 😩💔

OP posts:
Boxingmum · 09/03/2019 22:06

He sounds like a narcissist, an emotional abuser, alarm bells are ringing!!!
What is the home situation, rented, owned? What I’m saying is ...are you able to pack his bags & change the locks or is it more complicated?

FascinatingCarrot · 09/03/2019 22:07

I just don't think now is the time to be uprooting my life
Youre already 36 weeks, it cant be more uprooting than that so decide now. Fuck him off. What do you expect? If he was ok after this you will never ever trust him again.
As this is going, you'll turn around in 10 years time and still be waiting for him to validate you as a partner day after day and accept a crumb of a shitty text once a week.
He isnt there now, he wont be when she's born and he's not going to step up after this.
It is what it is..its a fucker but it is. One day you will laugh at him.

MrsTerryPratcett · 09/03/2019 22:09

There any way you can show him this thread OP?

Absolutely not. That is a really bad idea if he's escalating nasty behaviour.

TriciaH87 · 09/03/2019 22:14

Way i see it you have three options. Ignore it which is a big no with baby on the way. 2 is you hide his console and force a talk and 3 is if his so into his phone write him a message or better still forward him your post to force him to listen.

Mmmhmmm · 09/03/2019 22:17

This reminds me a lot of another recent thread, she left the loser, I think you should follow suit OP.

Original poster
loveactuallyisallaround · 09/03/2019 22:21

Made the epic mistake of going downstairs and asking if we could speak. He said I'd caused the whole evening to be sht and that I'm annoying. I started to get upset and he put his hands over his ears and the quilt over his head and told me to fuck off.

I went upstairs and he kept shouting at me to shut up because he could hear me crying. Im sat in my car now. This is the lowest I've ever felt.

OP posts:
WeakAsIAm · 09/03/2019 22:22

Start the car and drive to your mums OP, don't look back.
It's really hard but one day you will be glad you did.

Xx

Dottysmum18 · 09/03/2019 22:24

I have just read through the thread
Turn on the car and drive to your mums he is a nasty fucker and doesn't deserve u

icarriedaturnip · 09/03/2019 22:24

He’s acting like a child! Go to your mums or a friends OP, please

Coffeeisnecessary · 09/03/2019 22:24

Go to your mums, you need to be around better people for your baby's sake. Surround yourself with love, he sounds awful.

GruciusMalfoy · 09/03/2019 22:27

Fuck him, drive to your mum's. You need her love and support now. Isn't a a teenager, because it reads as if he is. Take care of yourself OP, put yourself first.

Sonicknuckles · 09/03/2019 22:27

Fucking hell op he's an arse hole. You poor thing. I had those symptoms you stated when I was going into labour early. Go to your mums and don't delay. Don't go back to him.

GruciusMalfoy · 09/03/2019 22:27

*Is he a teenager

timeisnotaline · 09/03/2019 22:31

Start the car op. NOW IS THE TIME. Go to your mums and you can go back together for some things in the morning. Please don’t spend another night with this horrible person.

Original poster
loveactuallyisallaround · 09/03/2019 22:31

Can't go to mums she's not there tonight. I don't have anywhere to go right now. I have driven away from the house though.

It makes me so sad that I'm heavily pregnant with his child and he just watched me walk out sobbing and doesn't even care.

OP posts:
timeisnotaline · 09/03/2019 22:33

It makes me so sad for you. Please make this the only time it’s ever going to happen. He doesn’t deserve you and you certainly are worth so much more than this. And your baby is worth love and care and everything. Is there really no one you can ask? Your friends who aksed you out would let you stay , you just have to tell them. Don’t be scared, it’s not your fault.

Sonicknuckles · 09/03/2019 22:34

Can you go to a friends?

ENormaSnob · 09/03/2019 22:34

This relationship is over.

He doesn't love you. He just hasn't the balls to tell you.

Please leave. Do it for your baby if not for yourself.

Yippeeayeyeah · 09/03/2019 22:34

Oh op I am so sorry this is happening. Is there a friend or other family member you could go to?

timeisnotaline · 09/03/2019 22:34

And in case you do go into labour, I wouldn’t put him on the birth certificate, and I wouldn’t give the baby his name if hell froze overs

Tiredmum100 · 09/03/2019 22:34

You deserve so much better than that! I'm sorry you're upset and he's treating his pregnant partner so awful. Can you stay with a friend tonight?

Gotthetshirt23 · 09/03/2019 22:36

Nice hotel ? Am so sorry

Sonicknuckles · 09/03/2019 22:38

You must stay strong and believe in your self worth! Listen to your gut.

Anon10 · 09/03/2019 22:38

OP are you married to him? Are you renting or do you own, and if so is it owned together?

Weenurse · 09/03/2019 22:42

Pack him a bag and tell him to leave.
You can’t deal with the emotional stress this close to delivery.
Make sure you turn the wifi off to get his attention, then tell him to take his PlayStation and go

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